<p>YOU are the one making excuses about why your son is failing to thrive at his public school! Many kids do quite well at public school and don’t spend their entire academic lives outlining chapters. There is more to life than math and volleyball, by the way. Your son will figure that out eventually. Let’s see- in another thread we learned from you that nobody smart goes to Ivy schools anymore because it is a waste of money, but your son could certainly handle the work if they would pay him to go. His state school isn’t high on your list because it is a big party school. Your family has two high-earning parents but you are pi$$ed off that your son won’t get big merit money to an elite school but it doesn’t really matter because only crooks come out of the elite schools. Do I have it right?</p>
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<p>And frankly, I think I see a pattern in your postings. Poor abused misunderstood Little Johnny. Boo-hoo. Get over it. He ain’t that special (none of them are) and the more you tell him that he is, the more you hinder his growth into adulthood.</p>
<p>Esobay…that’s kind of the way that truly “out there” smart boys behave. They want to do what they want to do and they are hugely successful with what they want to do. I have a feeling that your son will do great. My son reads Austrian School econ texts for fun. Can I ever relate :)</p>
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As if there was any doubt what I’m saying wasn’t true. lol</p>
<p>Don’t cripple your son, OP.</p>
<p>Mom…my husband is a juvenile diabetic about to get a renal transplant who works 80 hours a week, largely for free…because he works in a dying automotive town and he believes people deserve good care. We cannot afford to pay for private education. Period. My son does really well, at a very competitive high school, and will get a scholarship to IU, but he does not want to go to a school that big. His options will be smaller private colleges, where they will think he is great…10 AP classes, 3.7 UW GPA, 800 math SAT. What a whiny loser I am.</p>
<p>curmudgeon, would you like the list of outlier males who really were very uncomfortable in the path you want to force them into? It’s pretty long. There are lots of people who comply easily in this world. But many of the most successful can’t. And won’t. And will still run circles around those who will. OP, support your son’s interests.</p>
<p>Wait … lets get out those cool guys that I don’t know how to make!</p>
<p>Did everyone read in the comics on Thursday where Linus didn’t make the honor roll and everyone was giving him a hard time about it? In the last frame Linus was saying something like “Carrying the potential is TOO hard!”</p>
<p>That is my kid!</p>
<p>Whatever the reasons and they are legion and probably as varied as the kids themselves, but some kids miss reaching that potential. It is just judged here and now with the college admit process.</p>
<p>Topic moved (like threads often DO!) from what I was aiming for which was seeking other kids/parents that were shot down in this years college admit process.</p>
<p>In the long run, I am fairly confident we will ALL be OK. So I wasn’t even seeking reassurance, but just other misery to share …</p>
<p>Esobay, first of all, congratulations on the acceptance at the safety. Is it one of the UC’s (like UC Merced?) or a CSU? Perhaps Cal Poly?</p>
<p>I know it seems like a disappointment now, but there is no way that your son had a chance at some of the reach schools you describe, like MIT, with his GPA and history. So I think a big part of the disappointment comes from inappropriate targeting of school. Your son’s academic history tells the same story as the title of the thread, “smart slacker”. </p>
<p>You have to keep in mind that academic demands at MIT, CalTech, or Harvey Mudd are extremely intense. There is no room for slacking there – its easy for a kid without strong study skills and extraordinary self-discipline to fall behind there, and once a kid starts to fall behind it becomes next-to-impossible to catch up. </p>
<p>So if your son had gotten into one of those schools, it could have been a recipe for disaster. Your son clearly has a lot of potential – but he isn’t ready for the intense demands of the schools he targeted. You don’t want the next step in his life to be flunking out of college. </p>
<p>I know that parents hope that their kids will come around, and many rationalize that their kid will stop slacking off if only he could be in an environment the provides sufficient intellectual challenge – and some kids do rise to the challenge – but for the most part the elite colleges are looking for kids who already have demonstrated their ability to cope with heavy academic demands. </p>
<p>My son is one of those smart slackers who started off in a more demanding college than he was ready for. Dropped out, went to work, graduated from a CSU at age 24. I’m very proud of my son and he had some amazing opportunities and accomplishments at that CSU, many attributable to the greater self-discipline and work ethic he had when he was a few years older. So don’t get stuck on the bumper sticker view of a college’s worth. </p>
<p>So, as a parent, please don’t feel disappointed. Your son has a college to go to in the fall, and he will have opportunities to do well there.</p>
<p>esobay, its not just about your kid. Nor is it about my life or my kid’s life, except to observe that there are some similarities. However, the very real and understandable disappointment that you and your son feel, with which many of us can sympathize, provides an object lesson from which we can all learn and that we can pass on to our children.</p>
<p>As is usually true, curmudgeon has hit the nail on the head. Its wonderful that you have a son with a natural talent for math and science. But as you clearly understand, in the real world, talent is not enough. Production is all that really matters, and production often requires a willingness to do things that you find boring or distasteful. There is nothing sadder than having to look at people whom you believe are less talented and having to ask “why him and not me? I’m smarter (or stronger or faster)?” The answer is generally that the successful person is willing to pay the price and the more talented person is not.</p>
<p>So my hope for you and your son is that something good will come of this–that he will gain the kind of self-knowledge and understanding of what is necessary to succeed that will allow him to truly shine in the future (as he is obviously capable of doing).</p>
<p>Nester … actually I don’t think Harvey accepts transfers since their “core” classes are all so interlocked. And in any event, HM was the ED school and he heard back in time to know that he would not apply to any schools in the consortium so that he wasn’t reminded every day that he WASN’T at HM.</p>
<p>Marite … yes I heard you (and all the others on CC) so <em>I</em> am not surprised at these results. H is a little, but he doesn’t do CC (his loss!) I am not sure what DS’s reactions are (besides the sting!) I was not sure if he really thought he’d get in or not; he is fairly logical and logically one can see that a transcript with not only C’s but a D and an F on it are not logically going to be accepted at the all A level schools.</p>
<p>Esobay… I work with all engineers. And they play tons of video games, for the record. And largely, they did far better in the classes that they felt intellectually drawn to. It isn’t really a matter of “production”. When they are interested, they produce like crazy. Our employees stay all night often resolving some wacky programming issue or working and reworking a design to solve some obscure problem. But they were not the across the board motivated kids who got the A+ on an english paper. True Giftedness is not really usually quite that broad. There are a couple of asian kids in my son’s high school who have the discipline to not only compete in my son’s math class, but universally perform at the top of all of their other classes. But there are only 2. There are colleges out there for the kid who has less broad, but deep aptitudes. One that I know of for engineering is Rose Hulman. And the emphasis there on developing the whole kid is outstanding. I do agree that there are schools that boys like ours might not be as successful at. Like Calmom said, sometimes kids like ours might not do as well where they are expected to show discipline toward things they are just not interested in…like getting 6 “bravo” points per class in Spanish 
They won’t do their best in those schools. But they are the ones who come up with the weird new ways to splice a gene or build a better mousetrap. People are all different. We need the people who will suffer the mundane and we need the people who only want to do what they have a passion for. But they are not all going to fit in at the same college. Help your guy find his own path.</p>
<p>calmom… exactly the discussions H and I had while trying to help DS craft the applications list! Would he be better served being with super bright kids or being a top kid with just really bright kids around? Would he learn the study skills needed? (We had hope there because he is taking college math and doing the work for it.) Thank goodness, too that he isn’t our first. DD was / is IVY caliber and so we know what it took to get in. And even she with her work ethic had to learn better study skills at that level. </p>
<p>If he got into MIT , it would have been one of those “I am too terrified to watch him dive off the high dive!” moments for me!</p>
<p>Seriously? no one else is fessing up do getting whacked in the admit process? LOL Well, good job CC community!! really, I am certain that CC is WHY a lot of people are celebrating now. (and why I am not … not surprised and disappointed, just resigned I guess).</p>
<p>debrockman- If you think my kid is one to “suffer the mundane” then you obviously haven’t followed my saga (which since you haven’t been around that long, is understandable). </p>
<p>Excuses, excuses… Let us know how it all works out.</p>
<p>Esobay…I seriously think maybe your son needs to find a school to transfer to that is a little outside of the mold…like I said, Rose is certainly one for engineering. It is also very small and the administration really grabs onto their kids and they help them find passions outside of the classroom, as well as within. Nearly every kid is in the orchestra or plays a sport or leads an extracurricular of some kind. What are his career goals?</p>
<p>crossposted Debrock.<br>
I know those people too (heck I AM one of those people, LOL) I am not awfully worried about DS in the short run. He <em>might</em> drift off from disappointment, but I don’t think so. He has his own internal standards which he religiously applies to himself, so that makes me think he won’t go off the rails or anything. We already had the struggle to love the kid on the couch and while it was more difficult for my H the perfectionist, even he thinks kid will be OK. </p>
<p>I know I did better in classes that interested me … no one could figure out how I got a C in “Man and Literature” and an A in physics when “everyone” aced Man and Lit". blech, I couldn’t even force myself through the dreck he wanted us to read.</p>
<p>momof wc … I’ve followed your saga and am happy for that graduation!</p>
<p>deb … No need to think transfer yet! Heck, he isn’t even finished getting acceptances yet! Nor decided to accept his acceptance. LOL</p>
<p>And I have a mom that has reasons for doing weird things that always seem like excuses to me, so I see both sides of many many discussions.</p>
<p>How am I making excuses? And for what? For my son’s lousy A- overall performance in the highest ranked public school in my state? For my husband’s renal failure? You’re ridiculous. We will not pay for a 50,000/yr. education for my son. We can’t. My husband may need to quit working prematurely. I’m glad that you could. How nice for you. My son is definitely a little lopsided in his interests and aptitudes. The 800/670 SATs clearly show that. But he isn’t exactly dead wood. But in what he is good at, he is markedly good at. And that is the case for many outlier boys…like the son of the OP.</p>
<p>It’s a hard hurdle for those kids that are very smart and passionate about what they are passionate about but not able to find their match in “traditional” high school scenarios. This is true of both males and females so while it is proven more often to be seen in males, I honestly think girls sometimes just bend when needed a bit more so they can survive a bit easier. Like I said, my '13er is very much like this, and she’s a she. I too was like this, and I am a she. My 10er, is a she, and even she doesn’t find value in the outlining and the generic junk she’s required to do but she does it because she knows it is expected and needed whereas my 13er is offended by such busy-work and bucks the trend. My 15er is my son, and I think he’ll land in between his sisters - he won’t buck all the reqs but won’t do everything and more that his oldest sister does. So it isn’t a male/female bias of the schools, it’s that everyone has a different learning style that pulls us out and makes us shine and for those that truly find the “traditional” classroom based lecture/response class painful, it can be slower to shine. And for what it’s worth, my 10er is also a varsity athlete and has been all through high school and those sports have helped keep her focus because she works better under pressure and loves the outlet that they provide.</p>
<p>You are making excuses and blaming the Spanish teacher in your “highest ranked school in the state”. It is the teacher’s and the school’s fault that your son has a lower grade because he won’t participate enough to earn the smiley faces. That’s fine that you don’t want to pay $50K for college. Many people don’t. It’s probably a very wise financial decision. BUT-most people don’t say that Ivy schools are a waste of money and no smart kids are going there anymore and the graduates are criminals who ruined our country. Sour grapes much?</p>
<p>curm … I’ve followed many many of your posts and love your humor. Wish I knew what you read that made you think I was crippling my boy tho’. I wasn’t making this thread for making excuses for him NOR even for finding hope for him because I don’t think it is needed. He’ll be fine! I was not worried, except now that I am because you warned me from something I posted???</p>
<p>He is the kid that is really truly SICK of hearing “life isn’t fair , get over it” and You made your bed or the even better “If you made your bed better, you wouldn’t have to sleep on the wrinkles”. </p>
<p>Again, I started the thread to let other people share disappointing results so we wouldn’t bring down the happy news on other threads. It is OK that the thread took on its’ own life how did that happen anyway. but it is OK</p>