Smartest Things You Did During College Process

<p>Thought I'd start a thread for parents to get some good ideas from each other as they start and go through the college process with their kids. Please briefly list what you think your best tips are. </p>

<ol>
<li><p>Starting applications in August, before senior year gets into gear and pushing to get everything completed by early October.</p></li>
<li><p>Including safety schools with rolling, priority or EA submission dates so good news was received early in the game. </p></li>
<li><p>Research majors on actual colleges' websites. College Board . org is too generic. </p></li>
<li><p>Find students to treat to lunch or snack when doing college visits so DD/DS gets a peer perspective of the school not just general tour and info session info.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Discussing SAT Subject Tests with each kid in 9th grade – which tests they might need, which courses they should take (and when) to prepare for the tests, and which tests they should take and when.</p>

<p>Students will not initiate this conversation. They’re not thinking in terms of subject tests at that point. And the school guidance department is unlikely to bring up the topic so early. But your family may be able to avoid a lot of grief later if the parent takes the initiative to research this topic early and start talking about it with the student.</p>

<ol>
<li> Do all visits in junior year, so that by end of junior year student has list and preferences.</li>
<li> During visits, try one’s best to not give impressions or thoughts until after student has expressed how he / she felt about the campus and why.</li>
<li> Build a list that is reasonable and spans a wide range - in our case, kids’ lists spanned schools in the top 40 list of universities and LAC’s, choices were not all clustered at the top.</li>
<li> Be brutally honest about chances at top schools. If the acceptance rate at Dream School is 15%, then it’s 15% for you, too, buddy, don’t think you’re special.</li>
</ol>

<p>Great idea for a thread and agree with the idea about lunch with a student. My DS1 top two schools were schools where we did that. Here are some of my thoughts:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Call and ask admissions and/or fin aid for more money. </p></li>
<li><p>Remember that there may be a school or two that you didn’t get to visit before the application deadline but still fits your profile. Apply anyway and. Is it later. </p></li>
<li><p>Talk to EVERYONE! My wife found out about the school my son is attending from our dentist’s receptionist. Until then we had overlooked it and it had everything he wanted. </p></li>
<li><p>Start visiting early and don’t be afraid to visit school’s thAt probably aren’t a good fit. Sometimes teenagers need to learn for themselves. There is a lot of value to seeing what you don’t like.</p></li>
</ol>

<ol>
<li><p>Have the money talk junior year. Let your students know exactly what you can pay a year. If you can’t pay your EFC, they’re going to have to look for schools with big merit or low costs. simple as that. </p></li>
<li><p>Visit schools junior year. </p></li>
<li><p>Get the apps done early (game both kids an October 1 deadline; I could claim tuition exchange paperwork needed to be in early, but then most of the work was done for schools not on the exchange list, too).</p></li>
<li><p>Listen to the kid. When they’re done, whether it be with testing or apps, let them be done, as long as there’s a safety (both financial AND academic) that they’re happy to attend on the list.</p></li>
</ol>

<ol>
<li><p>Remember that it’s the student’s choice, not yours, and Mom does not always know better.</p></li>
<li><p>Visit any school that’s close by, if only for the practice. Drive through, walk around. Make a day of it. Enjoy the adventure – it doesn’t have to be deadly serious</p></li>
<li><p>Realize that getting in isn’t as important as getting out</p></li>
<li><p>don’t compete. be happy for your family’s choice, for your friend’s, for a strangers. once you buy into comparing, you’ll be miserable, and make everyone around you crazy</p></li>
</ol>

<ol>
<li><p>Emphasize that selection of schools for the application list is a strategy, not a search for a single “dream school.” If the list is well constructed, the strategy will work, even if the top school doesn’t come through.</p></li>
<li><p>As a parent, talk up the positives of all the schools on the list, especially the safeties. Do this from day one.</p></li>
<li><p>If the student is applying early to a selective school, urge him or her to prepare the RD applications before the early decision comes back. (We sent them in as well, but you might hold back on this to save application fees.)</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Make my kids apply somewhere they would hear from early. In both cases kids knew they were into at least one reasonable choice early. </p>

<p>Find good safeties early in the process. My younger son actually liked many things about his safety better than some of his other choices.</p>

<p>Kept my opinions completely out of the final decision process. Actually since I was almost as torn as they were, it wasn’t that hard!</p>

<p>Disneydad, my nephew found out about Rice from his dentist’s office too!</p>

<ol>
<li>Finish initial college visits prior to senior year starting so they have the complete or almost complete list of where they will be applying. Enjoy the visits and this time with them.</li>
<li>Be clear about the budget.</li>
<li>Listen and encourage. It is their process and decision.</li>
<li>Did I mention listen! They have amazing insight.</li>
</ol>

<ol>
<li><p>Educate yourself as much as possible about the college process. Do not rely on the guidance counselors (or your student). CC is a wealth of information.</p></li>
<li><p>Listen to your kid. If she says she wants a huge state flagship, even though you think she might benefit from a small LAC, schedule visits to huge state flagships. What they want and what you want for them, or what you think they should want, may be quite different. And sometimes the kid does know herself best!</p></li>
<li><p>Feel free to put a parent’s choice school on the list. (Because sometimes mom or dad really does know something). Our D had to apply to one school to humor her mother. She didn’t have to attend, just apply with a fairly open mind. Wanna know where she is now? And how much she loves it there?</p></li>
<li><p>There’s nothing wrong with testing often, especially if you’re aiming for a particular school or a particular scholarship that requires a certain test score. Some self-test prep, $40 and a few hours on a Saturday (even x 4 or 5) is well worth it when you have have a 6 figure payoff.</p></li>
<li><p>Senior year becomes a lot easier if all the applications are in by November and there’s an EA or rolling admissions acceptance in the bag in September or October. Visiting schools in junior year helps, too, if only to get kids more focused and excited about the college process.</p></li>
<li><p>Focus on finding two great safeties first. It’s much easier to find reaches than it is to find true safeties - schools your child will be accepted to, that are affordable and your child will be happy to attend. I think it’s best to have two because everyone wants the ability to make a choice, especially if the matches and reaches don’t pan out.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Told my child early on that she should only apply to places that might give her some merit money. In fact, we started out with an enormous list of schools that give merit money, and moved on from there. She understood early in the process that she can only go to places we can (somewhat) afford, despite all the schools her friends are applying to. </p>

<p>She also has only applied to schools she is happy to attend. </p>

<p>I noticed that the schools she is interested in are only the ones she has visited. The others don’t mean much to her. The visits were crucial. A school that we imagined would be a top choice became a much lower choice once she visited.</p>

<p>Waiting for her first EA results. We’ll find out if any of this worked soon.</p>

<p>Finish the testing as early as possible, and definitely by end of Junior year. The test scores don’t have nearly as much weight as most HS students think.</p>

<p>Get the applications done as early as possible and get on with senior year.</p>

<p>Remember that no matter how hard you work, your application is likely to get very little time spent on it. You are not your application and your worth as a person is not based on your acceptances or rejections.</p>

<p>(1) Planned for all eventualities.
(2) Expected no particular results.
(3) Researched (starting very early), supported, but did not interfere in essays, visits, or final choices, not even so much as to offer an opinion. Classroom teacher eventually required parental opinion on college essays, but mine was very minor and hands-off in nature.</p>

<p>Payback for (1) and (2) was genuinely surprised joy.
For (3), other parents, and school, engineered earlier visits. For hosting days, students went by lonesome, with one other acquaintance made via CC contacts and coordinated via both sets of parents.</p>

<p>1) Create an email address specifically for all college application information. If child indicated interest on SAT with an email, use this one. Use it for all college communication–it keeps it all in one place! </p>

<p>2) Create a spreadsheet with college information including application due dates (early/regular) scholarship due dates, cost of attendance, and scholarship offers. </p>

<p>3) Visit if possible before acceptances. Have an early acceptance school as safety if possible–it’s nice to know you are “in” somewhere before the holidays, even if it isn’t the first choice.</p>

<p>What worked for us:
–visiting a lot of schools with each son, varying widely as to size/location/selectivity.</p>

<p>–we chose the schools to visit based on what they offered of interest to each son–what programs/majors/community/environment</p>

<p>–early in sophomore year we sat down with each boy to start planning testing, curriculum in the high school, etc. Especially important for high school athletes–so many competitions are on Saturday mornings, so test dates need to be planned for so as not to conflict with competition season.</p>

<p>–for athletes in team sports (school or club teams): talk to the coaches early–like sophomore year. They aren’t responsible for knowing the ins and outs of college applications, they are responsible for fielding teams. My son’s club soccer coach appreciated the heads up. He cooperated by calendaring test dates, and trying to choose appropriate out of town tournaments that did not conflict, and to schedule home league games for later in the afternoon instead of in the morning. He also disseminated all of this information to all team parents–very helpful to getting all families on the same page. However, he also expected cooperation back from the families–for example, he sent out a reminder 6 months in advance that students should not plan on a certain date for tests, because the team was going to be out of town at national championships.</p>

<p>–all 3 boys applied to some early, rolling admissions schools. In fact, all 3 applied to Indiana in August–and all 3 had a college acceptance, to the honors program, in September. It made the rest of application season so much easier–they each knew they were going to college, at a place they liked a lot even if not first choice, which offered anything they wanted.</p>

<p>–have students work on their RD applications as well as their ED/EA applications early in application season. Sometimes sending out applications to rolling or safety schools is good practice in honing the “voice” of the applications to the student’s dream schools. For this reason, I made both of my boys who chose to apply to an ED school send in three applications to other schools before or with their ED application. It also took some of the pressure off a situation that could have arisen if they did not get in to their first choice.</p>

<p>–like many here have advised, we had him choose an “adult” email address that he used for all college communications.</p>

<p>–we set up a file folder for each college, where we kept everything for that school. The folder went with us on each college trip. on the folder itself, we kept a list of what was due when, the date sent to the school, and the date acknowledged by the school.</p>

<p>–we kept a large calendar on which we kept all due dates–and reminder dates a week in advance! We crossed things off as they were sent in.</p>

<p>–we always talked positively about all schools on the list. We talked about what we liked about each college. We did not want our sons to feel that any school was the “last” choice because we did not know what the available choices were going to be. Our philosophy was that any school applied to was a good choice, or he would not have applied.</p>

<p>I kept a folder for each year of high school and stashed awards, programs from events, etc. Helpful when filling out college app questions about EC’s.</p>

<p>Fill out EFC calculators/FAFSA 4caster early (soph year?) and realize how much you’ll be expected to pay. Think carefully about how much you can afford and convey that information to your child before applications go in.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>I concur with epiphany in post #13: Do not interfere in essays.</p></li>
<li><p>Start preparing for the SAT early by reading books in grades 5-10 instead of paying for SAT prep classes later.</p></li>
<li><p>Don’t ask kids to apply to expensive colleges if you don’t plan to pay.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Did several things already mentioned here.</p>

<p>I am currently going through this process for the second time. I did not/am not letting my child know that I was/am really, really nervous about this too.</p>

<p>-Make sure that college isn’t the only topic of conversation with your anxious senior. Take times throughout the process to allow the student to express their concerns, but let them direct the conversation once the apps are in.
-Keep up the positive attitude in front of student and almost everyone else. Come here and vent all you want. We won’t tell anyone :)</p>