<p>^^^Another great choice of words! Enabling! We have friends who were big snowplowers, but when their son went off to college, they just kept the hands off. Turned out, he needed some guidance, because he quickly flunked out, dropped classes constantly, and even withdrew midsemester twice! And the parents let him stay in school, paid for off campus apartment, wanting to keep their distance, but by their financial consent, were really enabling his failures. I want to offer guidance, but not enable failure!</p>
<p>Like I said in my original post, when my son told my husband to stop giving him fish, it showed me that he was ready to swim on his own, and he wanted us, my husband and me, to trust him to survive while making his own decisions.</p>