<p>I know a lot of people on here are pretty individual and don't really take anything from their parents anymore. Then there's me. My parents have always gone over everything from college decisions to where i'm going out to at night in great detail. Right down to the finest detail too. I plan to tell them i've applied to transfer over spring break, which is the first week of march. I decided to wait because my dad was constantly stressed over traveling for work, my sister had just moved out, and i was sick with mono for the first half of break. Also, this way they couldn't persued me to not apply.<br>
My story is basically im at a top 20 engineering school, instate, and fairly happy. I'm involved in campus a ton now, have a job as a math tutor, in SGA, and have lots of friends. But I really don't like the heavy engineering curriculum, and even though it sounds wierd, I really want to transfer to either a bigger, not ___Tech school, or a liberal arts-geared engineering program. My reasons for transferring are pretty solid, and theres pros and cons to every school, so that's not really the issue.<br>
However, how on earth do I even bring it up? I think it might be easier to tell my mom first, get her on my side, and then talk to my dad and mom together over dinner. I'm just worried i'm going to spend my week at home being yelled at or constantly harrassed over my decisions. But frankly, I kept my head above a 3.0 first semester and I have all As right now (I know its only 3 weeks in, but i've had atleast an assignment in every class, most have 3-4), and I think its about time they start trusting my decisions. Also, my dad mentioned on the way back to school from break I should go for Stanford (which I know is insane, don't comment) so I think he's open to transfer. And, one of the schools is a school he made me apply to last year (UT-Austin) and I actually like it a lot now.
So, any suggestions/tips/stories?</p>
<p>My father is completely different. Being Asian, his first and only advice to me was, "Get into an Ivy and if not, get into a Top 20 school or you're looked down upon" Since my dad graduated like top 1% of his class in China (total students) he kinda expects me to be near perfection as well...</p>
<p>and then there's me... and if you look at my stats... ha... :p</p>
<p>basically I haven't really out right told my father yet, he's still rather ****ed I'm going to WMU and because of that, I sorta feel ashamed and have a lot of pressure building up...</p>
<p>so if I get in to UMichi, NYU, ect; I'll tell him. If not... ugh... I'll probably get in (assuming I keep my grades up) for winter and tell him during like Christmas or something.</p>
<p>Yeah I definently do not want to tell them once I do or don't get in. This is because the decision time is May 1, and I have to reply by May 15, and I get home May 9th, and I just think it would be better to talk it over during SB, then talk it over again when they come down for my younger brothers SB (Easter weekend) and <em>hopefully</em> my mom will come down for the weekend before my birthday (im only 3.5 hours away =) and i have no classes friday so it could be a long weekend and I know she loves to get away). It will give plenty of time for discussion since its a big move, especially to TX (im in VA).
My dad has always set high standards for me too, but I'm dropping in engineering rankings (17 to low 30s) but going up in overall rankings, and he actually wanted me to apply to my first choice transfer school (UVa) so I don't think it will be hard to convince him school wise. Its just how to not just blurt out "Hey i applied to transfer"</p>
<p>Yeah, I know what you mean. My father's choice for me like in middle school (when I actually tried at school; not that actually meant anything...) was to go to Harvard undergrad and go to JHU or some Ivy league for Med school...</p>
<p>oh so far I've fallen from his dream</p>
<p>Ha, after high school two years ago I had to tell my father (retired army) that I was resigning from West Point...try givin that speech</p>
<p>That's my point, I don't even know how to begin =/</p>
<p>I just plainly told my mom and dad, and they were supportive. Granted, my situation is such that possible transfer colleges have little or zero cons and many pro's, so it's an easy decision for my parents and I to support.</p>
<p>I advocate jumping into the cold pool at once, rather than easing your way into the frigid water.</p>
<p>Like a Nike ad would tell you, "Just do it!"</p>
<p>Some ideas from a mom ;). It really depends on what feels to you like it might be the most comfortable (or least uncomforable). Like Run<em>4</em>Fun says, it really comes down to "just do it", but I know you are looking for ideas.</p>
<p>Idea #1. Do it in a restaurant when out to dinner. People will usually be more reflective/listening mode, less likely to overreact or shoot from the hip in such a setting.</p>
<p>Idea #2. "Mom, Dad ... can we talk a few minutes about my plans? Now that I've been at Xyz school for a year, I've been thinking about how it compares to some of the others you liked - UT-Austin, Stanford...."</p>
<p>Idea #3. "Mom, Dad .... I've really liked a, b and c about xyz school. But I've been thinking there might be other places that would be even better for me. So I went ahead and threw in a couple of transfer apps. Don't know if I'll even be accepted, but what it's an option....</p>
<p>Idea #4. "Mom, Dad... do you know anyone who ever transferred colleges? Because I've been thinking about it. ...</p>
<p>In the end, you are right. It should be your decision at this point in your life. But they do care; they will worry and they do want what's best for you.
So, I hope they support whatever you choose.</p>
<p>Yeah I'm thinking i'll do it out at dinner so they can't initially flip out. And I'll just say I wanted the choice, and can always turn down an acceptance, I just cant create one in May. Believe me, I have PLENTY of sound reasons to apply, and I have a lot to transfer. I guess it will be nice to let it stew until May 1 when I find out, and May 9th when I get home, before May 15th when I need to say yae/nae</p>
<p>Or, you could go in their closet and replace their "College A" sweatshirt" with a "College B" sweatshirt. That would be pretty self-explanatory :).</p>
<p>My parents were really supportive of my decision to apply for a transfer, not that I really needed their permission or anything anyway. I told them over the phone because I'm an international student halfway around the world, and they were totally cool with it. After all, it doesn't hurt to have an extra option out there at the end of the year, at which point I can decide whether I want to transfer or continue studying where I am.</p>
<p>In the event that they were against the transfer, I still would have applied for it anyway.</p>
<p>I like Jmbarr's plan. Possible variation.... slap a College B sticker on the rear windshield ;).</p>
<p>tell them what you're doing and do it</p>
<p>Well, its already done, now i just need to fill them in =) thanks everyone</p>