<p>It was so great to finally see our D after waiting almost 8 weeks, I thought this would be a great new thread(thanks to mathmom ).We really had a great time and I only cried on 1 occasion !They had so many parent activities but don't these colleges get we come mainly to see our kids ?Maybe in her Junior Year Weekend I'll want to know about the career center ,but why now? She practically just moved in! It was great to meet alot of the other students, and especially her new best friends.</p>
<p>We went to our DS’s parent weekend last weekend. And only did one college “organized” activity. Just wanted to see our DS - and go shopping for winter wear! Wondering how other parents of sons experienced this - our son seemed glad to see us (but not overly so), and was so done with us by lunch on Sunday! Even so, it was great to check in on him and see how well he’s adjusted and how happy he seems.</p>
<p>Our “family weekend” last year was kind of forgettable, really, unless you hadn’t attended admitted students weekend or pre-frosh orientation. It was the same type of presentations and even pitch, and the students were super-busy that weekend (with many of them planning trips off campus!). The scheduled “time with your student” was lunchtime on a weekend, which I think geek<em>son slept right through after staying up past 3 doing homework. :rolleyes: There was another event – an egg drop competition, I think – that pitted students against parents, but geek</em>son was too busy for that and it wasn’t really “together” time anyway. I’d have done better by asking him when he’d have a slower weekend and arranging to visit him then. Not a big deal for me as he’s not too far from home, but I could imagine it being a big let-down for parents who’d traveled across the country.</p>
<p>My husband and I really enjoyed our Family weekend but I think it was good that we all didn’t expect to spend the whole weekend together. On Friday, we arrived at dinner time and took S off campus to eat. After dinner, we dropped him back at the dorm to go out with friends and H and I went on to the motel to check in and relax. On Saturday, we got to campus early enough to get decent parking and registered at the student center before I even attempted to call S. We ran into his roommate’s parents while registering and were told that S was just getting up. He joined us for the college brunch and then H and I went to the football game. I hadn’t ordered tix for S because I thought he would be going with friends. Turned out that all of his friends were with parents. Since he is our only and I probably hover too much, it was good for him to see that we can do activities without him. We met up again after the game (S went with his roommate & family but then went back to the dorm when he got bored with the lopsided loss of his team) and had a snack and went to another sporting event. We had dinner together and then he declined a ride back to his dorm because he met some friends at dinner that he planned to go to the gym with. H and I were tired and ready to go back to the motel again. On Sunday, we met again for brunch and then S had to go off to his club sport that was competing at another college.</p>
<p>So, mostly we ate together. After missing him so much and wanting more contact, just talking with him at dinner and seeing him with his friends was enough to satisfy my need to know more of what he was doing. There are things at the school that he doesn’t like, but he has already figured out how to work around those things. My husband, who was not happy about S’s choice of schools, I think has come around to accepting that it is the right place for him. We had a nice visit but did not attend most of the activities that had been planned. If we go again during Family Weekend, I might want to try some of the tours of the local area–we missed the Garlic Fest!!!</p>
<p>Just attended S’s last weekend, (#4 to go to college out of 4).
Did a college sponsored luncheon, that was it! Took S shopping! </p>
<p>We find that the children are just glad to see us & we brought all the “stuff” on their list & we end up taking them out to eat & go shopping for groceries & any other necessary items, like clothing, boots, shoes, etc. Very rarely do we attend any college-sponsored activities, maybe just in the Freshman Year about a “First Year Experience” or something.</p>
<p>I’m at one now. We opted not to do the organized activities, but went to an honors ceremony (DS got a merit scholarship) and I took DS out for pizza tonight. He went off to go to a movie with friends, while I’m off enjoy some alone time in my hotel room. (I really love staying in hotels all by myself!)
Tomorrow we’ll be hitting the mall to buy some winter clothes.</p>
<p>I opted out of parents weekend - I had enough of the campus ‘organized activities’, tours and speeches durng the open houses and accepted students day. </p>
<p>I drove out a couple of weeks ago. S and I had brunch on campus, and I took him shopping for some necessities. I hung out with him at his dorm for a bit (his roommate had gone home for the weekend), walked around the campus a bit, then drove home.</p>
<p>It was very enjoyable, and more our speed. S would not have appreciated the planned activities, and I felt we had a much better visit just hanging out and being ourselves. Plus, I figured it would be a mad crush on parent’s weekend - traffic, parking, etc.</p>
<p>I had a lovely weekend with my D. I had not seen her since August 1 so just being with her doing whatever was an absolute joy! We shopped and ate. She was starving! She says her schedule is so busy that it does not allow her to get a hot cooked meal. She tends to grab fruit and crackers for every meal. So she even thought going to Applebees was a big deal! We ignored all the organized activities except for attending the football game which was loads of fun! </p>
<p>I did get to see her room and meet her roommate and her family. And her room was not half-bad. My D is taking an art class that she loves, so she took me for a tour of the studios and showed me some work the kids are doing. It was amazing!! </p>
<p>I cried when I started the drive home. I do miss her badly. But then I was distracted from those sad thoughts when my tire blew out in the middle of nowhere! After dealing with that, I was just glad to get home.</p>
<p>Well, I’ve had a good share of Parents’ Weekends so far with several kids! This would be my advice for colleges (anyone listening?)
- Have Parents’ Weekend early enough in the term so that the students do not yet have hourly or midterm exams looming, or papers due. If you have it three or four weeks into the term, that is fine. It is also reassuring to parents to see, that early, how their students are thriving and stimulated. I have been frustrated when I have attended Parents’ Weekend and my kid is either in the library studying, or worrying that he or she is not studying.
- The thing that parents want to do the most is to see their kids. We really don’t want to go to special lectures about esoteric topics. If you want us to see what the faculty are like teaching, open up your classes at another “open house” time for us.
- It is nice to have receptions with faculty and administrators so that we can meet and mingle.
- When our students are in specific programs of study, it is nice to have sessions explaining the philosophy of the program and the implementation of that philosophy, along with the outcomes of the graduates. One of our colleges did that, explaining how they establish cohorts of students, explaining the introductory core, etc.
- Performances in the evening are nice. We have attended a capella groups, sketch comedy groups, improv groups, etc. with our student.</p>
<p>And, advice for parents and students:</p>
<p>6) If going out to dinner with parents is on the agenda, students should get the message that they can plan a dinner with some other families and make the reservation, within price limits, of course. Or, just plan it as pizza or picnic, but plan something!</p>
<p>I posted (above) last night about how I am at a parents weekend right now, and am enjoying a night’s stay alone in my hotel room.</p>
<p>Well, I just got off the phone with DH (who stayed home to take our other kid to an event today). I was telling my H how great our son seems to be doing, and how he’s got friends and has matured tremendously, and it suddenly hit me that DS really has left the nest. Up until now I’ve been sort of expecting that he’d need our help for all sorts of things, but no, he’s figuring out stuff for himself.</p>
<p>I didn’t cry when we dropped him off in August, but now I’m in tears… go figure…</p>
<p>Dear college people -Why do colleges offer all these workshops to distract parents from just seeing our kids? Do people really want to choose a speaker over our darling children? I don’t get it.Help me to understand this. BTW,this is my #4 kid at college, the last to have a Freshman Weekend .Thanks for enlightening me.</p>
<p>S is living in the dorm 15 miles away from his home, so we have been seeing him almost every weekend anyway, for something or other. But, since he is the last child, I thought I’d do at least one activity at Parents Weekend.</p>
<p>So…we did the luncheon boat cruise on the river. 
And later I took him to get a haircut (and I paid for it.) Pretty sneaky of him, to wait until he needed one so badly I would gladly pay. :D</p>
<p>Did not get to see his dorm room, and I’m wondering what shape it’s in (imagining huge dust bunnies.)</p>
<p>Although we did not do any of the off-campus activities this year, I might do them in the future if I go to Parents/Family Weekend and I would also go to more of the on-campus things. It was great to see our son but even when we are on vacation we have always planned some separate activities. It was nice to have a few meals with him and attend a few activities, but I know that he needs space. I was happy to see that he had things that he wanted to do without us but was afraid of hurting our feelings. I am sure some of it has to do with our particular family dynamics: an only child and two relatively old parents.</p>
<p>I agree with you, fauxmaven, although the exception to this might be a one hour sessions explaining the philosophy of a special program if the student is in one, or perhaps a session on studying abroad for parents whose students might do this. But we mainly want to just see our kids!
I think that the lectures or workshops are designed to give us something to do while our kids have some study time, but scheduling the parents’ weekend earlier, before deadlines loom, would solve that problem.
For those parents who do want to have some separate activities, there could be exhibits set up somewhere for them to browse with or without their students.</p>
<p>I can understand the problem. If I had to go out of town for Parents Weekend, I would not expect to spend every minute with my child who should be studying, rehearsing, or working on projects at least SOME of the weekend!</p>
<p>I think Parents’ “Weekend” should actually be about a day and a half.</p>
<p>This weekend was D’s Parents Weekend, but due to distance and lack of funds (the college is getting it all anyway!) we couldn’t attend. So, a big thanks for all the other parents who included my daughter and took her out to dinner, brunch, etc. We hope to repay the favor someday! I did send her a nice big care package (as did grandma and aunt), so she still enjoyed the weekend.</p>
<p>We also skipped Parent’s weekend as D wanted to come home to see some HS friends. We had just visited a few weeks ago to see her in a show and going again next month for the same purpose so there was no need to insist on “Parent’s weekend” </p>
<p>When we went down we took 2 friends out to dinner and on Friday, before she left to come home, one of her friends included her in their family dinner. It kind of works out well when the visiting parents aren’t all lumped into one weekend!</p>
<p>We did not go to our S Parent’s Weekend this year, last year it was scheduled at the worst possible time in the semester when he had papers and exams. He was under so much pressure and we had not seen him in more than eight weeks. Our expectations collided. We find it easier for him to look at his schedule and plan a weekend that will allow us to have a great visit.</p>
<p>Thanks for the great heads-up to those of us with kids in the hs class of 2011/college class of 2015. I’ve learned a lot from your comments, and am not viewing Parents’ Weekend in quite the same way. I’ll probably still go, but my expectations will be different.</p>
<p>We really enjoyed Parents Weekend. It was good to have some planned activities to attend, which gave our son time to do some work. One of the most enjoyable activities was sitting in on classes. The university had a long list of classes where parents were welcome, regardless of whether our children were students in the class, and I sat in on a number that interested me. The night before we left I started missing our son very much, but fortunately he will be coming home for Thanksgiving.</p>