So if I can't go to SPOP...

What will happen? My internet was down for a while during the reservation period, so when I went to sign up, everything was full for my major, forcing me to waitlist. Considering that it starts this week, I don’t think my chances of getting into one are very high. Am I just screwed, or can I talk to someone to sign up for classes and whatnot?

I suggest that you give them a call and explain your problem. By calling it does not mean that you will have a for sure spot but it will increase your chances and if not they might have a different solution for you.