<p>So I've been thinking quite a bit lately and I realized I am so so scared about next year. I've made my down payment, have my email address all set up, orientation marked on the calendar, and during the day, I'm so excited. And then I'll lay in bed at night and just think and get so scared.</p>
<p>It has nothing to do with the courseload or making new friends; I'm intelligent and quite outgoing. It's...well..this is going to sound cheesey but I'm going to miss my family so badly. I'm not going particularly far (about an hour), and I've been away from them for lengthy periods before, so it's not an indepedence issue. It's just, I'm really close with my parents, you know? And while I know they're only a car ride or phone call away, once you go to college, a certain part of the family dynamic changes, because you aren't there for the little things.</p>
<p>Maybe I'm just a big time nester, who knows? And I understand it's part of growing up. But I've been genuinely really upset the past couple days.</p>
<p>Change of any kind at any age is intimidating.</p>
<p>You were probally scared when you entered HS the first year, first crush talks to you,taking a drivers license test, first job interview.</p>
<p>This is just another new thing in your life. Moving from what is familiar to what is unknown is just part of growing up. And it will never stop, even when you are an adult you will always have times where something is unfamiliar and your relationships and outlooks will shift a bit or change.</p>
<p>It's good that you are recognizing these feelings, it means you are preparing to be able to cope with them as they happen. You have the whole summer to adjust to the fact that your life is at the beginning of some new things for you. It will happen gradually, there is no sudden seperation to worry about.</p>
<p>I suggest you talk w/ your parents about how you feel. You may be surprised that they may be feeling some sentimental strings being streched as well.</p>
<p>I am feeling a bit that way about my d, who is my oldest getting ready to graduate HS and go off in the fall too. But I am confident that she will adjust fine and be happy. And I will too. But that does not mean you can't feel some anxiousness and/ or sadness about the move. Those feelings are just a testament to how much we love our families.</p>
<p>Talk with your mom and dad, it will make you feel better.</p>
<p>I wish you all the fun and success in your college experience!</p>
<p>What you are feeling is absolutely normal.<br>
Don't think of it as going away for a whole year or 4 years. You've been away from your family for periods of time before, right? So try to think of it as going away to summer camp: 3 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks. Because at the end of a few weeks, you will indeed be going home for the holidays, on break, etc... You can even go home more frequently, especially at the beginning. </p>
<p>In the meantime, don't think about college as this huge, dramatic, life-changing experience, but as a series of small changes. Think of ways you can stay connected with your family. It's great that you are so close to your family!</p>
<p>What is unusual about you is not your feelings, but your self-awareness. So many kids are going through the same thing, but don't realize that's what they're experiencing. For most, these feelings just come out in other ways (they get irritable, difficult at home, sentimental about things, etc, etc) and their parents often realize it's anxiety or sadness about the way their life will change. So, I actually think that your level of self understanding will ultimately help you deal with this transition when it actually happens. Best of luck to you!</p>
<p>I know exactly what you mean Eckie. I have been extremely stressed out & worried lately, and i know it's not just school stuff. At least you can go home when you get home-sick... I am going to be across the country from my family! although we already have a family plan so i will def be calling them all the time.</p>
<p>Going off to college is a huge change and therefore incredibly scary for both you and your family. Even though you will keep in touch via phone and email and even though you will come home again (at least for visits), you are correct in realizing the magnitude of the turning point for this next step in your life. Accept your fear and then congratulate yourself on your willingness to do something that is really difficult (ie face that fear). Some movie had a nice line that bravery wasn't a lack of fear but the willingness to proceed despite ones' fear, or something to that effect. </p>
<p>Some kids are so happy to get away from their parents, they are running away too fast to care about what they are running toward. But, lucky you, seem to still have a great family relationship. Your take-away from this experience can therefore be that much more evolved. You can realize that facing this fear this time (which may be the biggest challenge in your life to date) makes you that much more ready for the next leap into the unknown. If it weren't hard, it wouldn't be such a great growth opportunity.</p>
<p>It will help to talk to your parents and even siblings about your feelings. We are going into withdrawal over our oldest high school son leaving soon. Spring break felt like the "last family vacation"; senior prom will the "last big dance", soon we will be attending the "last soccer game", etc. Now you have me terrified!</p>
<p>Please also realize that maybe you aren't ready to leave home yet. I decided to go to college in my own hometown and live at home. By the time I graduated, I was ready to move out of not only my childhood home but out of state, with a job so as to be self-sufficient. Not everybody matures at the same rate. My D, on the other hand, was ready to move cross-country as soon as she graduated from high school. She says that after a year and a half of college, she is starting to get a little homesick. What took her so long??</p>
<p>As someone who went to boarding school at 14, I can asure you that you can stay very close with your parents. Seeing them everyday does not define close. When I'm home the time is special. I'm not running ff with friends, to practice, etc. as I constantly did when I lived full time at home. My parents also go out of their way to clear their schedule when I'm home. We're as close as ever. I talk to my mom daily, she knows what's going on in my life. The relationship just changes, it doesn't grow weaker.</p>
<p>Thank goodness you were smart enough to go somewhere only an hour away. My d has so many friends who went far away and were then miserable and all ended up back close to home. This way, you can come home whenever you need to so you can take it gradually at first. My d will only be 40 min away and it scares me but she is excited. College is a great transition time for moving out. You are sort of on your own but not quite. I remember when my parents dropped me off the first day I was scared to death. I think an hour away is perfect. It's "away", but you can come home whenever you need to. Good choice!</p>