SO is it a dead end? am i fooling myself??

This is like saying if I can’t drive a Lamborghini, I won’t drive a car. If I can’t marry Penelope Cruz, I am not getting married.

You know what the rest us do? We find something that matches our needs.

Maybe look at colleges that target adult learners: http://www.bestcollegereviews.org/best-colleges-non-traditional-students/

Maybe go to UCLA and be a star.