<p>Sorry, this is going to be a long post.</p>
<p>I'm a first-semester freshman at a rural liberal arts college half an hour away from home (but I live on campus). I have been trying new things and learning a lot in class. I've started exercising and eating healthy, I've joined a couple clubs, the campus is always gorgeous, and my professors are awesome! You would think my life is almost perfect (and sometimes I DO feel really happy here), but there's one thing bringing me down: I haven't made a single friend.</p>
<p>I tell myself I shouldn't be so sad just because I'm friendless; after all, I'm here to learn, not to make friends. But my loneliness is actually turning out to be a big problem. Like, one moment I'll be eating at the caf, perfectly content, and then I'll see a group of girls laughing and talking and it will remind me of how my friends and I used to talk and how I'm all alone now (I rarely text them because I don't want to annoy them). Next thing I know, I'll find myself fighting back tears.To cope with the loneliness, I keep myself busy throughout the week (while still allowing some downtime) and go home over the weekend. Because when I'm not busy or at home, the pangs of loneliness return.</p>
<p>The problem is, I just can't relate to any of the girls here (even though they're fairly nice people). They're athletic, outgoing, into partying, extroverted, and although they're smart, they're not particularly keen on having intellectual conversations. I'm the exact opposite. I've been seeing a counselor about my loneliness, and she says that most people here want superficial friendships. All my hallmates found friends quickly and they all go out to party together. I don't want a ton of friends. All I'm asking for is one loyal friend to have to goof off with, to have nerdy conversations with, to confide in... Everyone here is looking for quantity, but I need quality. I would gladly trade all the acquaintances I've made just to make one good friend here, or to revive my old friendships. I miss my high school friends so much and would do almost anything to save my old friendships from dying, but obviously my old friends don't feel the same way because they never text me first, even though they know I have awful texting anxiety.</p>
<p>It's just so sad because when I first got here, I was ecstatic and didn't want to go home. Whereas just this week, I found out I might be stuck on campus for two weekends in a row. I told my parents and they didn't see what the big deal was. I cried out, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I can't stay here for that long! I'll go mad! I don't have any friends here; I'M ALL ALONE!" At this point, I was bawling.</p>
<p>I still have five more weeks until the semester ends. I don't know if I'll make it out with my sanity intact. And even if I do, there's no guarantee I'll make a friend next semester. There's a part of me that's hopeful- next semester, I'll take a class meant specifically for my major (math) so maybe I'll grow close to a fellow math nerd. But maybe I'm delusional. After all, college is supposed to be the easiest time to make friends, and I can't even make one.</p>
<p>So, what I'm wondering is, do/did any of you feel this way about your first semester? Does it get better?</p>