I planned to have 2 children - stopped at 1, 'cause none of the others took… My husband has a daughter from a previous marriage.
We did decide to stay in the house that husband bought with his first wife, though, (after much discussion and soul-searching - this is not the house I would’ve picked out for myself…) because we wanted to save more for both D’s college and retirement.
We originally planned to move, to a bigger house.
We paid off the mortgage shortly before my stepdaughter entered college - and my own D was still in grade school. We stopped paying child support at the same time, and suddenly we had some extra cash. Even after paying her tuition. Our first thought was to look for that new house. We didn’t look too long before realizing we were looking a gift horse in the mouth. We had one child at home, no more on the way, a nice 3 bedroom house (albeit small and modest) in a nice neighborhood in a good school district and NO HOUSE PAYMENT.
We decided to stay and up our savings for D’s college and retirement.
Just by staying in this house, and not buying another one; and by keeping our cars for over ten years before buying another; and by paying off credit cards every month, we have been able to - travel more, save enough to pay all of D’s college costs, save enough in retirement to still maintain our current lifestyle. Imo, we also have a very comfortable lifestyle - although some of our peers think we’re eccentric tightwads. Well, compared to them we are…
We are in the top 5%, I think, so yes, that helps. But people in our income bracket think they need a lot of things they don’t really need, and it’s actually a want. You don’t need a new car every three to five years, you don’t need to stay in 4-star hotels, you don’t need to fly first-class, your kids don’t need a bigger room, or their own playroom, or their own bathroom, you don’t need a formal dining room and living room.
Forego those things and you won’t need to go into debt for any college or university.
We also live in a big metro area, housing is higher here than surrounding areas, and we still treat ourselves to nice experiences and a few toys… I really think the secret is staying out of debt. And one of the biggest debts you can take on is a house (aside from college and car loans).
And I do think the housing boom in the 90s messed up a lot of people’s finances, across income levels. People upgraded to huge houses they didn’t need - but they could get the loan and they did. We almost did. I’m forever grateful we did not.