Guys – all you all are saying (in different ways) is that it is always just a question of affordability at your particular income level.
UCBA is right that almost anyone could afford to pay full sticker price at Amherst if they chose to drive a 30 year old Yugo, live in a 500 square foot tiny house and made all their own clothes.
At VandyEyes’ income level, he doesn’t see the “value” in dropping $250k on Amherst (even though he could theoretically afford it) when he can get a lower net price at Tulane or his state flagship. But if Vandy wins the lottery or gets a 500% raise, he’ll see sufficent “value” in paying for Amherst to let his kid go there if it otherwise is a fit for the kid.
Oh please. You are not tied to where you were born. And yes, people do make the choice to move away from family to a more affordable area. I have neighbors who did just that five years ago. Both parents grew up in the state, both sets of grandparents living about 30 miles away (and that was considered far). They were struggling trying to make ends meet in an outer DC suburb even though the husband had a very nice paying job and the wife worked part-time. It was just too expensive. When the husband got a job transfer offer to Houston, they thought long and hard - that is a long way from Maryland. When they realized they could actually move out of their way-too-small townhouse and live in a single family house, they made the decision to live in Houston. They’ve thrived and love it there.
I’ve also had friends leave the SF area for Oregon or Washington because SF living costs were just unaffordable for a family of four. They all looked into the future and saw they could not save for college, so they moved to less expensive areas.
I grew up IN Manhattan (Harlem) and it took me an hour to get to high school on the train, second stop in Brooklyn! A half hour commute from anywhere unless you can walk is pretty rare. If you drive at rush hour? LOL, no.
Most of my in-laws commute an hour or so in from various parts of LI but one commuted an hour and a half from lower Orange County NY because they had a beautiful old farm house with acreage and a pool for very little $.
Also, why is there the idea that one should avoid living where there may be neighbors who are lower SES?
If one takes that view, then the only choices of places to live are the expensive places. If one only wants to live where others are of greater than or equal SES, then one may be at the margin of affordability, with nothing left for savings.
And you’ll be stunned to discover that kids from Staten Island go to college. Kids from the Bronx go to college. Kids from Queens go to college. The “scary” neighborhoods that people from outside the Northeast think of when they think of the NY metro area are often safe places to raise your family, albeit with much more racial and ethnic diversity than you’re going to find in other parts of the country.
In my opinion, the question seems to be whether or not upper income families can afford to save for college at all. Some upper income families seem to think it’s impossible due to the high cost of where they live. I think that the ability hinges on choice.
Everybody has to make choices, and not just about college. I chose to give up an income that would have put our family income at twice the median level for our area so we could homeschool. That was a conscious choice not without sacrifices. It meant we’d be staying in our starter home on less than an acre, and having spent more than half my childhood on a property 75x that I feel the constraints it’s put on my children’s explorations, but I don’t regret it.
I think your comment about choices between time with family and “best” colleges is interesting. My father was a Depression Era kid, well read and extremely smart. There was no money for any college. So the hope of their generation was to send their kids to a college. After a physical disability and years of enormous financial struggles, my parents bought a home close enough to a state community college so my siblings and I could commute. All of us worked full-time and commuted, and most of us transferred to 4-year schools and worked full-time so we could afford to take enough classes to graduate. Most of our kids are dorming at state schools. Perhaps their children will have the opportunity to dorm at a fancier school, if that’s what they want.
When people talk about colleges I always think of my dad. He would have been thrilled to have the opportunity to stretch his mind with his contemporaries at any schoo, including the local cc. I suppose when you’re used to having, it’s easy to feel your kids should have the best. However, too many people in this country are at an economic level where your choices – between time with family or the best colleges – aren’t options at all.
And plenty of others remain in states like California and try to make it work. Yes, it’s a choice, and may not be one you or I would make, but what is it with everybody passing judgment on folks who make decisions they wouldn’t?
Relocating to another state is not a cheap proposition and requires you to have a fair amount of money in the bank unless a company is paying to relocate you. (I know, I’ve done it, twice.) When you have elderly relatives you’d be leaving behind or a home you can’t sell easily without taking a loss, it’s often a very fraught decision.
No one is saying they can’t make those choices. But it those choices come with economic costs. One is being able to save for college or not. It matters most when the kids are younger – saving then has a lot more bang for the buck. You can chose where to live, where to work, what kind if work to do, how many kids to have, whether both parents will work. All of these have consequences when it is time to pay for college.
@austinmshauri, indeed, and why shouldn’t lower-income folks get more time with family and top college options as well? Their peers in Germany do.
@usbalumnus, please point out who’s saying that lower-SES neighbors are undesirable. I see people saying that high crime areas and areas with poor public schools are undesirable, and I can understand that sentiment.
@blossom, please point out these low-crime areas with good public schools and cheap good housing within a short commute of Manhattan. A school system that you would be fine with your kids attending.
Agree with PurpleTitan, my city has many low income area but it’s considered very safe. I don’t equate low income as under sortable area. But safety is an issue, especially when both parents are working.
Cousins in Queens. Kids at the local public school and then a magnet HS (one of the famous ones). Another relative in the Bronx. Same deal- local PS whatever, kids aren’t ready for HS yet but the plan is one of the magnet/exam HS’s. They tried private school but they weren’t going to be able to save for college and pay tuition so they’ve opted for public school. The Queens family owns a lovely duplex- live on one side, have a tenant on the other who basically pays their entire mortgage. Nice deal financially. The Bronx family lives in a very pretty single family house with a front and back yard. Not big enough to raise horses, but enough to garden, swingset, etc.
I’d be happy to have raised my kids in their neighborhoods (they are not commutable to where I worked when I moved East from the midwest so I did not consider these urban communities). But their neighbors are professionals, academics, small business owners, plus a large immigrant population of “strivers” whose kids are intensely dedicated to academics.
Purple- now your turn- what’s the problem with the “outer boroughs”? Yes, more diverse racially and ethnically then other parts of the country. And yes- you aren’t living in a four bedroom house on half an acre. That’s why people make choices.
It is implied by posts which imply that moving into an area where the housing costs do not stretch your income to the limit (i.e. where people of lower SES than your SES can live) means having inferior schools or unacceptably high levels of crime (though the crime rates are still lower than the locations where some highly desired colleges and universities are).
I got a better idea. I’ll start and people feel free to add verses. Let’s have some fun!
The 1% Blues - by the college confidential community
[Verse 1]
Private college costs are way too high
Housing costs too, I just barely scrape by
And if illegals get deported, you know what they say?
My lawn will just turn from grass into hay
[Chorus]
I got more than most
Living in my shoes
Yet still I have
Those 1% blues.
@ClasserRockerDad, Because I appreciate the effort and creativity, I will attempt a verse. Just in fun, though; no disrespect to people who’ve made choices different from my own. Okay, here we go:
The 1% Blues - by the college confidential community
[Verse 1]
Private college costs are way too high
Housing costs too, I just barely scrape by
And if illegals get deported, you know what they say?
My lawn will just turn from grass into hay
[Chorus]
I got more than most
Living in my shoes
Yet still I have
Those 1% blues.
[Verse 2]
Nice homes, great schools, counselors with clout,
All the advantages my kids can’t do without,
I make a nice salary and try my best
To cover these bills, but that darn Sam takes the rest.
[Chorus]
I got more than most
Living in my shoes
Yet still I have
Those 1% blues.
The 1% Blues - by the college confidential community
[Verse 1]
Private college costs are way too high
Housing costs too, I just barely scrape by
And if illegals get deported, you know what they say?
My lawn will just turn from grass into hay
[Chorus]
I got more than most
Living in my shoes
Yet still I have
Those 1% blues.
[Verse 2]
Nice homes, great schools, counselors with clout,
All the advantages my kids can’t do without,
I make a nice salary and try my best
To cover these bills, but that darn Sam takes the rest.
[Chorus]
I got more than most
Living in my shoes
Yet still I have
Those 1% blues.
[Verse 3]
Stock market went down before I could bail
I thought biotech would put kid through Yale
Now plans have to change and kid has to wait
Or heaven forbid attend Ohio State
[Chorus]
I got more than most
Living in my shoes
Yet still I have
Those 1% blues.
@ucbalumnus, interesting. When people say they don’t want to be in areas with bad schools and/or high crime, I take that to mean that they don’t want to be in areas with bad schools and/or high crime, not that they don’t want to be with lower-SES people
@blossom, admittedly, I didn’t have kids when I lived in the NYC area. If NYC public schools are good enough for you, then certainly, some parts of the outer boroughs are options (assuming that you’re willing to put up with the NYC income tax). And I have nothing against the outer boroughs. I loved visiting parts of Queens. Great food there.