So UCs -want- a robotic personal statement?

<p>I read through “On Writing the College Application Essay” by Harry Bauld and “Essays That Worked” and I read brilliant, thoughtful, and funny essays. Then I read the UC rubric for grading THEIR essays: </p>

<p>“Look critically at the information in your application: your grades, awards, activities and work experience, family and income. Anticipate questions an admissions evaluator will have after reading your application. The personal statement is your opportunity to answer those questions.”</p>

<p>Most of the “good” UC essays I read on the other subforum are robotic. My family inspired me to want to become a doctor, or going to _____ helped develop my social skills, blah blah blah. </p>

<p>Then I read a good essay from my books, obviously a private school, which opens with “I do some of my best thinking in the bathroom”, or “My sister is a kick. Seven years old, and she’s the only one who knows how to run the VCR.”</p>

<p>Don’t tell me I just wasted my two creative essays? (For UCs, of course. Privates I’m applying to will appreciate them)</p>

<p>I guess what I’m really asking is this: is the UC statement a way to express your personality or just explain in detail what your accomplishments are?</p>

<p>i am also wondering this… they said that they did not “want creative writing” such as poems , but i dont know about just quirky/witty writing.</p>

<p>collegekid, </p>

<p>I’ve read a couple good ones that are a bit more humorous than your generic UC essay. Mines is quite witty too. I think its fine as long as we don’t get a stuck up rule loving adcom.</p>

<p>PS: I scrapped my 2nd essay and rewrote it to have to do more with my community service. 2nd one will be recycled into my Common App essay :)</p>

<p>I’m itching to know as well. How do you “stand out” in your essay if it’s so lifeless?</p>

<p>I did one cut and dry and one more quirky and original. I got into Cal, although I’m not sure how much of a role the essays played, positively or negatively.</p>

<p>The primary purpose of the UC essays is to give information that you can’t communicate by just filling in boxes on a form. From what I’m told, it’s not necessarily a BAD thing to have a creative essay, so long as your primary focus when writing it is not simply being original.</p>

<p>I attended an Elite college admissions seminar (Elite is basically the most prestigious college prep program on the West coast…google them) and a UC Berk admissions officer came and talked about the admissions process. He said save all the abstract stuff for Common App essays…the UCs just want straightforward stuff. I don’t know if that answers your question or not.</p>

<p>But xdelerious, aren’t we supposed to “show” and not “tell?” How can you be straightforward and still “show?”</p>

<p>Well, I’m pretty sure you’re allowed to “show”. It’s just that you shouldn’t make it too abstract because remember, they are public schools and have soooo many applications to read. They don’t have time to figure out what your essay is trying to say if you’re not straightforward enough. Being concise is the key…</p>

<p>Our D used the same essay on the UC and Common Aps. It did not explain anything about the content of her application. It described how a summer school experience changed who is she. It was slightly quirky and sweet, with just a touch of sarcasm. She used the is there anything else we should know section to explain a couple of items on her transcript. She applied to four UCs: Davis, Irvine, Berkeley and UCLA. Got into all but UCLA. IMO, use the essay that best reflects you. Good luck with your applications.</p>

<p>at my school a UCLA admissions officer came and read Personal statements to those who made appointments with her for 2 days…</p>

<p>she said “this is good but it’s not supposed to be a creative writing assignment”
I redid my whole statement, except the parts she said were good.</p>

<p>she said the “creative assignment” comment to at least 15 people i know…</p>

<p>The admissions officer is not interested in the best writer, but in an interesting person who will make a good member of the incoming student body. The essay should be competently written but the main point is to stand out by showing some facet of you - what is unique. </p>

<p>Outside of UCLA and Cal, the UCs only read the essay to find situations that are given admissions points in their formulae. They could be replete with grammatical and spelling errors and it doesn’t matter to those schools. They read it solely to look for specific achievements or events. </p>

<p>For UCB and UCLA, the quality of the essay will count and it is not being read to find special situations.</p>

<p>To reiterate - robotic is not what they want. Fascinating, interesting, and reflective of who you are as an individual, yes. This is for UCLA and UCB specifically. The rest have specific factors and weights, often well described on their web sites, which are what they use to select among applications, and not the power of the essay.</p>