<p>No pumpkins in our house this year, and no Halloween decor. Last year, I was in tears. This year I celebrate the fact that I don’t have to stay up late waiting for DD to come back from her Halloween party and that I have no moldy gourds to dispose of! It does become easier…</p>
<p>this is my fourth year as an empty nester. i do get a little sentimental (even though halloween is probably my least favorite holiday) and long for the little costumes and the excitement and wonder of having the little ones around. even when they were older, they had fun giving out the treats and playing pranks on everyone! this is the first year i didn’t carve a pumpkin. i set some out as a decoration and the squirrels have done a great job of “carving” them for me.</p>
<p>i’m not sure it’s any easier, but it is indeed less raw.</p>
<p>i’m not real good at the whole empty nest thing.</p>
<p>now that halloween is over, the holidays are going to be here before we know it! </p>
<p>i am amazed at how fast time moves along! </p>
<p>i do appreciate the extra hour of sleep last night, but i will hate it later today when it is dark at 4:30 or 5…</p>
<p>My older D’s room is partially becoming a sewing room dedicated to creating costumes for Halloween, dance performances, etc. At least the tradition of making homemade costumes is still going, though I’m not there to take the pictures anymore!</p>
<p>I have one left at home. I will be a complete mess in three years and feel like I have to prepare myself ahead. Not sure how to protect myself from the pain, but will be working on that any day now (sure…) The second of three left for college this fall. Two days earlier one of our two dogs died. Seeing life going too fast - now I really know how fast the next three and a half years will go with my one at home. Too quiet around here. Pets get older and leave, too. Keep in touch with your sweeties at college and make your house light hearted and happy. Make the effort to get the pumpkins and carve jack-o-lanterns! I almost didn’t this year, even though I have one at home - because she wasn’t asking about it. So glad I did - as he smiles at me whenever I come in the door. Reminds me of my first Christmas away from my parents with my husband. You know then you have to do this decorating and revving up the spirit for yourself. You’re on your own now! Oh… these changes are hard!</p>
<p>Someone on the “large life/small life” thread recommended Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. I am most of the way through it (it’s only about 150 pages) and it is a very appropriate read for those facing an empty nest. The book is required reading at many high schools, so you may have a copy in your house already. Even if you read it in school or when your kids were younger, it will really hit home now.</p>
<p>Thanks for your suggestion Missypie. I am in the middle of reading Man’s Search for Meaning and I agree that it is a good read for those that are dreading the empty nest and anything else, for that matter.</p>
<p>Halloween…for the last two years, we have gone away. Great time for leaf peeping. We do have some little kiddies on the street and I miss seeing them come to the door…but I still prefer just getting away.<br>
Man’s Search for Meaning…yes MP…you mentioned it on another thread. Will it make me even more introspective…and sad? If so, maybe it makes sense to get something silly by Dave Berry or Bill Bryson.</p>
<p>Sorry! I haven’t read through all the posts but replying to the OP about what to do with the empty nest syndrome</p>
<p>Started tutoring for ESL at the local library. Teaching a Peruvian lady who wants to improve her English speaking ability and get a job as a nurses’s aid.</p>
<p>“Man’s Search for Meaning…yes MP…you mentioned it on another thread. Will it make me even more introspective…and sad?”</p>
<p>It is one of my favorite books. Its message is that even in the most horrendous times, one can thrive by giving back to others even if one has little to give.</p>
<p>So last night I was stricken with are rare onset of “I’ll never be young and pretty and sexy again” blues. The night before, I went to a drill team mother/daughter event; the girls were doing Zumba - 15 to 18 year old dancers - all looking so adorable and effortlessly sexy, in their sweatpants and t-shirts. I’m very fortunate to be in a prefession where age is a plus and not a minus, but on rare occasions I get the “it’s all over” feeling.</p>
<p>^ I want Missypie’s profession so that somebody will appreciate my advanced age!</p>
<p>Missy: Whatever happened with BIL/SIL? How much did that helicopter rescue cost them? Did they hike the GC?</p>
<p>We went to Horshoe Bend on a brief hike, north of the GC. You walk up to the edge and are 500’ above the CO river. Very Darwinian, no warnings, no hand rails, just there it is. Scarily in some places, you might think you are standing on solid cliff and you can see other places where what looks like solid rock from above is 3-5" thick pieces of stone that jut out over the abyss.</p>
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<p>They aren’t doing the GC for Thanksgiving. She’s taken all talk of Machu Pichu off her Facebook page but I don’t think they’ve cancelled the trip…I think she just feels the need to keep her hiking adventures (!) to herself for a while!</p>
<p>This is what I’m doing now that we have an “empty nest”.
Today I begin my Red Cross Disaster Service Training.
Yeah!
I have waited a long time for this.</p>
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<p>toneranger, I found Man’s Search for Meaning to be inspiring. The author survived several concentration camps and uses that experience to think about why some survived, why some didn’t. His focus is on the importance of meaning in one’s life and how he found meaning in life even in circumstances that are probably markedly worse than most 2009 Americans can imagine… One aspect of his work is also central to an aspect of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits. Read the reviews on Amazon.</p>
<p>I like Bill Bryson and Dave Berry but they won’t help with the question of what to do with an empty nest. Frankl may by inspiring people to find greater meaning in one’s life. </p>
<p>A sage friend of mine said that all of us need community, meaning and structure. Without any of the three and likely without two of the three, a person is likely to be depressed. I’m not in that position as my work and pro bono work provide meaning and some community and I have largely created my own structure. But, if one’s structure and meaning have been centered on one’s kids and perhaps one’s community as well, the change is likely to be wrenching and what one needs to do is mindfully create community, meaning and structure.</p>
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NSM - didn’t you tell us you were an extra in a movie once … any chance you can tell us the movie without giving away your identity so we can all try to guess who you are?</p>
<p>I was in the HBO film, “Recount,” which I’ve never seen. My husband and friends have seen it, but no one spotted me, so I suspect that I may not have made the final cut. 
I did, though, earn $60 for a day’s work! :)</p>
<p>And …this just in… I just got cast in our local community theater’s production of, “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.” I even have lines and am in 3 scenes. It’s a small, but fun part as one of the bossy church ladies! And it’s a step up from my first and only other time being on stage there. I had the smallest part – no lines, but got to sing and dance with the ensemble.</p>
<p>NSM! I am so happy for you! Congrats.</p>
<p>Just found this thread, after a tough weekend. Son had last high school football game (lost in the playoffs), got accepted to top choice school, both in the same week. This past weekend I cried on and off for two days. I’m so happy for him - high school has been a struggle for him, and yay he’s going to college! But all I’ve ever wanted is to be a mother, and I feel like my “job” is done. I haven’t had a real, in-the-world job in 20 years, thought I’ve done tons of volunteering, and I see all of the time after he leaves as a gaping hole that I need to fill…I am taking classes at a local community college to get my creative side going, but my BA in English isn’t going to get me a job anytime soon!</p>
<p>Wow, empty nest indeed…and I still have 9 months to go!</p>