<p>Welcome, Elizabeth! Take a good luck at your volunteer experiences and see whether any of those experiences have left you wanting to get more involved in any of those orgs or their causes. My friend has been volunteering with American Cancer for 30+ years & was just sworn in this month as the national secretary! It has been a very long commitment and she has made many friends and lasting relationships from it. Are any of your volunteer experiences things that might lead to that?</p>
<p>Have you considered foster parenting? How about volunteering at a school, preschool, childrenās hospital? There are so many things that you could do, but you have to think of what YOU want.</p>
<p>This can be an exciting time for you to figure out what ELSE you want for YOU! You have much to contribute.</p>
<p>Elizabeth, you job is not done by far. D is college junior and more homesick than ever. She is fine in all aspects of college life, living in awesome College Suits, having everything that she wanted. but she still misses our house, us, her friends (she has a lot of them at college also), going to her HS every time she visits at home. She is talking/emailing/texting often, we do not feel at all that we are done. But I did find new activity for after work &gym hours. And I love it. I was afraid that I would be bored also. Look around, try something new for you.</p>
<p>Wow, I NEVER thought Iād say this, but this first semester went FAST! My DS spent the last month at school without coming home and it was the longest in his life that I hadnāt seen him. I was starting to crack a little and if heād stayed one more weekend I would have been on the road to go visit. He just went back Sunday, tomorrow is his last day of classes and next week will be exam time. He tells me heās doing great (106 in Calc so farā¦yay!) but that heās looking forward to no studying for a month at Christmas. He will however be working on scholarship applications, but so far this whole year has been paid for with scholarships. </p>
<p>He came home for Thanksgiving and when I got home from work I was so happy to get this incredible bear hug with a growl and āI misssssseeeed YOU!ā I melted. The two of us went to dinner and to see āThe Blind Sideā that night, and just to sit and every moment of hearing his laugh was savored. (He loved the movie since it references his school). Iām already thinking how hard it will be to let him go again in January. </p>
<p>I hope that everyone else has adjusted. I wish I could do all the cool things some of you are doing, but my life is full with working all day, and going to the Y and at night. Iāve been offered pets, but I donāt want that tie to having to be somewhere to feed or walk a pet. My DH and I have enjoyed the time alone, and I am finding that I am a lot less stressedā¦and even more uninformed at the local school calendar than I ever was. And thatās just fine with me. :)</p>
<p>To the OP, thanks for your post! Yes, this semester has flown by. Gives us inspiration that we can make it! </p>
<p>I am looking forward to getting back to MY swimming now and not having to look at the school calendar. It will be nice to get back to working with adults again.</p>
<p>What a great relate-able thread! My S left for college 3 years ago and D is a senior in HS. I must say that it was not as hard as I thought when S left. The anticipation was much worse than the actual event. He does call a lot (whenever he is bored!) and we keep in touch with text-ing, and iChat. Since he needs to move to CA to pursue his graduate degree we have decided to all follow, including D. I think it is going to help tremendously to be moving into a new house, a new town, with new neighbors, etc. I work from home and DH works abroad so we are not tied down to any location. The plan is to try to live within 3 hours driving of either D or S. I am very happy we are all going to be making a change, working from home is isolating and somewhat lonely. I plan to pursue my dream of becoming a photographer, so that will get me out of the house and meeting new people. We have also asked my mom if she would like to move in with us. I am actually surprised that no one in this thread has brought up that possibility? How could I want my kids to be with me, yet I donāt want to be with my mom? I know I will miss D a lot, we have become very close since S left and DH has been working abroad more than ususal. However she is suffering from senioritis big time this year, which might actually be a good thing as I occasionally canāt wait for her to be at college. It is going to be weird to put myself first again after 21 years! I wonder if there are any Empty Nest Clubs out there. Wouldnāt it be great to have other ENās to chat with over a cup of coffee or some lunch! At least we still have several months and college acceptances have not even hit the mail box yet. I am not going to let anticipation of an EN get the better of me. One day at a time.</p>
<p>Elizabeth - You sound exactly like I did last year.
I cried and cried - āI donāt know how to be anything but a Mom.ā āMy job is over.ā I quit my ārealā job when Odessagirl was born. Over the years I have done many things to earn fun money. Gave out food samples in the grocery store, babysat 1 day a week, cleaned houses (which I am still doing). But with every job, I was home to put dd on the bus in the morning and also home when she walked in the door in the afternoon. (Maybe not when she was in hs, though). And I wouldnāt change a thing. Glad we made that choice - it was the right one for our family. But it was super hard for me when she left for school. I am fine now - actually see her every 3 weeks or so. Hubby and I purchased new furniture this fall and painted rooms, etc. We made sure to keep very busy at first, which I think helped. My house was never so clean. But, we are back to ānormalā now. Actually, this house could use a good cleaning!</p>
<p>I am busy exploring ideas for the future. Found out I can substitute teach in our district without a credential - thatās a possibility. Looking on craigslist and monster everyday to see if there are any jobs that spark my interest. I donāt want to work full time, Iād like to be able to travel with H and have my quiet time that keeps me sane - but I want to be in the world. Whirledpeas, I know exactly what you mean. Iām trying to be patient (not a strength of mine!) and have faith that something will emerge that will make me happy. </p>
<p>I too wouldnāt have changed a thing about being a stay-at-home mom. I cherish every memory, even the bad ones, and feel truly accomplished when I see how wonderful my kids are.</p>
<p>Stay at home moms, I donāt want to offend anyone, but I do want to share my perspective. My husband has been a SAHD for 19 years. When I ask him what heāll do when our youngest graduates from HS, he becomes angry that I would even suggest that he get a job. I really donāt think he intends to ever work outside the home again. </p>
<p>But it would really take some financial stress off of me as retirement approaches if he would work full time for a few years. He seems to think that if he clips coupons and saves $5 a week at the grocery store heās doing his part, but being able to invest a full time paycheck - even if itās a modest one - would go so much further. </p>
<p>As youāre standing at the crossroads, consider the fact that your spouse may feel very financially pressured in this economy but may be too much of a gentlemen to ask you directly to get a job. Taking some of the financial pressure off may allow your spouse to have a less stressful life.</p>
<p>I wonder if it is not better to start taking classes, volunteering, etc now, instead of waiting until the kids are gone in August. I think it would make the transition easier and it would show our kids that we are doing something with our life and not just hanging on to them for dear life?</p>
<p>āI wonder if it is not better to start taking classes, volunteering, etc now, instead of waiting until the kids are gone in August.ā</p>
<p>My experience supports your suggestion. I got my pet rabbits and started pursuing some new interests a year and more before my youngest left the nest. This also made it easier on both of us when he began to more and more lead his life the summer before he left for college.</p>
<p>I have been taking classes at the local CC for the past year and a half. My D was so excited when I returned to college right as she was starting college. I already have a BA degree, but I did it to explore my creative side, and its a lot of fun. However, Iād really like to be making money once S goes off to school - I havenāt really earned an income in 20 years - although I have helped out with the business that we own, doing A/P and so on. It would be nice to be able to contribute financially and have a little money all my own.</p>
<p>Its amazing how much experience I have on my resume for having no experience - between volunteering and working (unpaid) for our business, thereās a lot of skills Iāve learned over the years.</p>
<p>Missypie, I sympathize with you and commend you for having a househusband - it must have been quite unique way back when, though it seems to be more commonplace now. He may be having anxiety about trying to find a job after all these years, especially in the job market today - thatās how I feel, and I imagine it might be even more intimidating for a man. I know for me itās hard to know where to even begin!</p>
<p>Ah, Iād love a househusbandā¦that implies the counterpart of a wife (which EVERYONE needs)ā¦it implies cooking, cleaning, decorating, gift buying and wrappingā¦alas, what I have is definitely a stay at home dad.</p>