<p>If you don’t already have a pet, get one!</p>
<p>I think pets are a terrific idea.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, we won’t be getting a new pet because ShawWife’s response to the empty nest is to create activities that enable her to travel for work. While these activities are not lucrative (she is in the arts), they are cash flow positive. So, she just finished teaching painting in Tuscany and will do so again next spring. She’s also arranged for a residency at a printmaking studio in Venice. These are things she wouldn’t have done with birds still in the nest. I see more such things in the future. I joined her at the end of her Tuscan trip for a Florence/Venice vacation.</p>
<p>Although I love dogs (and grew up with them and would have happily had a dog) and she would enjoy having a nice, calm large dog go with her when she goes into the woods to paint, I travel way too much to be a good dog owner and her current plans don’t seem designed for a pet. Plus, she’s allergic to most if not all dogs.</p>
<p>So, for ShawWife, additional work-related travel will substitute for additional pets.</p>
<p>Helped a friend with a tag sale over the weekend. Her birds have flown, she just sold her house, and she and hubby will be moving to a condo rental for the time being. I brought a few of my own things over and made a quick hundred bucks. Not sure if I’d want to spend the entire weekend hanging around my driveway for a few hundred dollars, however. </p>
<p>Opinions?</p>
<p>After our last yard sale, we vowed never to have another. Instead we take stuff we don’t want by dribs and drabs to the Salvation army or try to pawn it off on our own kids and friends. I found it sad to be haggling over things that were already priced low knowing that if we didn’t sell them we would be giving them away the next day. Craigslist might be a good alternative.</p>
<p>A friend of mine said she made $7K on her yard sale, but she had to sit there for 3 days and make sure nobody walked off with her stuff. We don’t have a yard, so I think I’ll be giving things away like kathiep when we ultimately move out.</p>
<p>I am so excited for D to start her journey (as I was for #1 S) that I haven’t worried about empty nest… however I probably will cry like a baby & drink alot ! jk</p>
<p>I was advised to have a special trip planned a few months out - something you always wanted to do like Europe. So during the months of Sept & Oct, etc you have something you are truly excited about. </p>
<p>With college tuition I don’t know if we’re going to do that. I’ll have to come up with a cheap version</p>
<p>A roadtrip with just the two of you going somewhere special would be fun. National Parks are lovely and less expensive. A cruise like Alaska might be nice. Visiting friends and relatives you haven’t seen in a long while that live far from your home?</p>
<p>Just spent the past two hours reading through this whole thread; not sure whether it made me any wiser or sadder, but at least I know I’m not alone. I’m a single parent with an only child and he has, unapologetically, been my focus. I gave birth at 38, so like some others here, knew each stage was precious since I would not pass that way again. </p>
<p>So here I am, with about a month till college, wondering how this stage will go. We are close, but he is his own person (as am I), so this is definitely the day I have seen coming - and still don’t know how I will manage.</p>
<p>I work full time - a high school teacher; not sure if being around kids all day will make it better or worse. I’ve never been afraid of change but this feels more like a loss to me, although I’m trying to fight that feeling.</p>
<p>Has anyone talked to their kids about their empty nest feelings? He’s not dumb, he knows I’m going to miss him, and I want him to know that my feelings are not his responsibility.</p>
<p>I’ve let my kids know how much I missed a full house, but I also let them know that I was fine and thrilled for them to be on their own. Both of them stayed in touch almost daily via a quick newsy phone call or email, which I really appreciated.</p>
<p>Scoutsmom, I know how it is for you since it’s just you and your son. I had kind of a similar thing because my two kids and I clung together after my husband died. But don’t act sad. Smile when you drop him off. The whole separation thing was not nearly as bad for me as some other parents reported. After all, you really have to be happy for them! :)</p>
<p>I say just get through it. My husband was not able to come with me for drop off, and I found it very difficult. If you’re a stiff upper lip person and that works for you, great. If not, that’s okay too. Do your best, and if it’s not how someone else would do it, so be it. I’ll tell you, I cried, I laughed, I did it all. If I’d done anything else my kid probably would have thought I’d been replaced by an alien.</p>
<p>For me, in many ways, having my younger kid leave for preschool was harder than having both kids off to college 2500 miles away. I guess I was at a different stage of my life then and so involved with my kids it took some time to figure out how to “reinvent myself,” as S likes to say.</p>
<p>By the time they went off to college, both were pretty self-reliant and I was busy with a fledgling non-profit I founded. It kept me quite busy so I didn’t have as much time to miss the kids.</p>
<p>I’d suggest you have something special scheduled after you say goodbye to your one and only–a special short trip with a friend or at least a nice special meal with your friend who is the best listener you know, so you will have someone to talk with who will validate your feelings.</p>
<p>It’s up to you how much you want your job to help fulfill you or if you want to pursue some hobbies that you never quite had time for previously. I’d suggest the latter, myself! :)</p>
<p>Sometimes it gets worse after college. Only kid is moving to Arizona! Yikes! That’s a few thousand miles away. New job is keeping me busy but I will MISS him. Looking to retire in Sedona!
Hang in there all…you do kind of get used to it. I cried like a baby all the way home after college drop off… but recovered after a while. Time does heal and you adjust to a new normal…tough going though for many of us.</p>
<p>scoutsmom- yes, I did acknowledge to our son (also an only) that I was having my own transition issues. As you said: he is not dumb. I made a point of telling him that I was proud and excited for him, that this had always been one of our mutual goals, and that I had loved being his mother. At which point we both teared up. It was healthy for us to talk about it as a normal thing. Then I made a point of doing my anticipatory grieving in private.</p>
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<p>That ain’t never gonna stop. You’ll always be his mother.</p>
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<p>This reminded me of Robert Munsch’s kid’s book called “Love You Forever.” Here’s the text: [Love</a> You Forever](<a href=“http://www.rogerknapp.com/inspire/loveforever.htm]Love”>Love You Forever)</p>
<p>Thanks for the responses. I’m trying to get things like volunteering lined up for after his move-in day so I won’t feel like I’m falling off a cliff. Wish people IRL would stop asking me how I’m going to manage, because, frankly, I can’t talk about it without getting emotional. Glad you’re all here to talk to!</p>
<p>shawbridge, I know that book. Makes me cry everytime.</p>
<p>Couldn’t even read the title of the book without tearing up - one of my favorites!</p>
<p>I cannot even get into my hobby this summer. Very exciting to be extremely busy though. D’s graduation from UG, packing, moving out, cleanning, re-packing, buying various pieaces of furtniture after renting apartment at her new school (going Med. School), praying that all fit into studio (it did!!), unpacking, organizing (all while D. is abrod, then NYC, then visiting out of town friends and get togethter with HS friends for many re-union events). OK, she has started. Went to awesome White Coat ceremony, it was the last trip to see her, do not know when will be next, she has no idea herself. Waiting for grandkids to come visit us for about 2 weeks and 4 days after we went to ceremony. I did not finish yet to re-organizing thing after daughter’s change of place. Ran out of vacation days. Have only 4 to spend with my grandkids, H. will have to take care for the rest of their stay. I do not know when people have time to breathe. I do not, but it is all very exciting and we hope that D. is adjusting well into her class that include PhD, Lawyers, Masters primarily from Ivy’s and Elite schools. OK, cannot even focus on that, need to think about food and activities for grandkids. Thank goodness, no pets in my house, but I still need to make sure that my potted plants are well an alive, everybody loves them too. Also, I am proud that all along I have been swimming for 1.5 hrs every day. I do not think I would survive very well without, swimming took care of my headache today. </p>
<p>If you do not have much to do, enjoy while it lasts. The busy times are ahead, unavoidable, which is good.</p>
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<p>Very true. I gave you folks the short version of our discussion. Before I go to the “I want you to know that I have loved being your mother” part, I told him that I would always be there for him, no matter what, but I acknolwedged that the nature of our relationship was changing.</p>