<p>we have our own version of love you forever, that arose before we knew about the book!</p>
<p>I love you forever; I love you for always
where ever you go and whatever you do
I love you forever; I love you for always
No matter what happens I’ll always love you </p>
<p>This was important to me because my parents never got the memo about unconditional love!</p>
<p>Unconditional love really frees us to take bigger risks, knowing that we will always be loved & not “ditched” when things get tough!</p>
<p>We are repainting our house and ShawWife’s studio and she picked an orangy-red color for the doors of the studio (they were deep purple before). Well, she looks at the paint can and it says Empty Nest on it and then in another place Empower. Not clear which is the color and which the line of paint, but hey. When I tried to search for the paint brand with Google, I found someone on facebook who “empowers empty-nested women to embrace their whole, capable, creative, and resourceful selves to BE who they are, DO what they love, and HAVE what they want.”</p>
<p>Read through a lot of the posts…glad I’m not alone. Our only S will be in PA and we are in CA. We were married 9 years and our surprise came alone…a surprise that has been such a joy in our lives. Since S was in K, I’ve worked part-time. Since he’s been in HS I’ve tried finding FT work…but nothing available in our small town (I am a computer aide at an elementary school). Now S is going away on a great adventure. Trying to come up with things to do in the fall…I know I will. My H & I already talking about some short trips for just the 2 of us…</p>
<p>empty nest skill-I have learned to wrap and ship via alot of companies well. USPS, UPS, Fed Ex. not only cookies, but items D cannot live without from her room</p>
<p>Wow, it’s almost August already. They’re leaving soon… Where did the summer go?</p>
<p>I have just spent the last two hours reading much of this; and am so glad I accidentally found it! I have only one daughter who is actually starting her third year in college. The funny thing is that she is actually attending to the college I work at. When she is in school, I see her at least once a week in my office (she stops in). It has been great to maintain our relationship. However, it is weird as I think my H and I are dealing with an empty nest syndrome, and haven’t dealt with it or labeled it for what it is, so we can manage it. We have looked at adoption, but am not sure that is the best answer for us. How do you stop you and your H from growing apart? We have never shared many interests at all, and we just seem to be growing further apart now. I do not want to go jeep 4-wheeling or play video games. He is not interested in vacations as he feels we cannot afford them, and is not interested in daytrips, or anything like that. He doesn’t even like to go out to eat (he considers eating a requirement to survival so rarely cares much what he eats - yes, he’s thin), and we have never liked the same types of movies. Sometimes I don’t even know how we did end up together as we have so little in common. But something has worked since we’ve been together for 25 years, and it has never been one of those marriages that stayed together for the children. </p>
<p>What we do agree on is that neither of us see a future in the town we are in. We live in the northeast but find the cost of living so high that we have considered relocating. H will give the ideas lip service, but then when I start a plan to look, he backs off; he is afraid of change. I want to create a new life for us, now that we are empty-nesters, we can do what we want. He wants it but seems paralyzed by fear of change ( a huge issue for him), and then he is always afraid that if we move from her, our daughter will not move to where we are at when she graduates. Honestly, we need to not live our life around her, we need to be happy. But I don’t if know how to get the ‘we’ into that conversation. How do you do that?</p>
<p>Really disconcerting in our case; ever since child 3 got her drivers license almost a year ago, we’ve begun experiencing the onset of E-N, and this time next year she’ll be really gone. After having a couple of decades of what now looks like halcyon times, we have decisions on where to live (we both refuse to deal with icy hills and driveways forever), how we’ll sunset our careers, and what we’ll do on a daily basis and over a period of time. Who knows when and where the kids will settle down and how much interaction we’ll have with them. Scarier still is how different our interests are and what and how muc we’ll have in common once everyone’s gone.</p>
<p>Right now, Newton’s first law is winning, and we haven’t done anything different from what we’ve done in the last decades.</p>
<p>Heaven, I’m in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we’re out together dancing cheek to cheek</p>
<p>Heaven, I’m in heaven
And the cares that hung around me through the week
Seem to vanish like a gambler’s lucky streak
When we’re out together dancing cheek to cheek</p>
<p>I love my kids but it was time for them to go!</p>
<p>Youngest is a college senior this year. We are renovating our house to get it ready for sale.<br>
Suburbia was great for raising kids but not where we want to spend the rest of our lives.<br>
Luckily,DH and I have a lot in common and have enjoyed the freedom of marching to our on beat the last few years. Hope you all find your “beat” and march on.</p>
<p>H and I have been EN’s for 8 years, as D went to BS for HS. I just returned a few days ago from Spain, where I had been since early June, helping S and now DIL with their wedding preps. H joined us in early July, D only a few days before the July 29 wedding, as she was lucky enough to both find a great job upon graduation in May, but one that gave her time off so soon to go to the wedding. It was all so beautiful!</p>
<p>I consider us to be in Stage 3 of our EN period-both children now truly launched, off the payroll.</p>
<p>Stage 4 will begin in a few years when we both retire and move where there will be no real winters, but lots of beach. It will also be where the (hopefully) grandkids will live, as D plans to move there in a few years as well.</p>
<p>At this stage in my life, I would not be able to continue w/o a fixed retirement date in mind.</p>
<p>My wife and I will be sending our S off to college in a few weeks. While we all agree this is the right time and he is ready, I continue to feel bad about his leaving. We’ve been looking at other places to live (but wouldn’t move while S is an undergraduate). We tried looking back at all the things we did before S arrived but those things just don’t seem the same anymore. We will really miss our S. So, we have had him installing and teaching us about AIM and SKYPE and all sorts of ways to stay in touch. I still hate texting since you can’t really have a rich conversation but it is clearly better than no communication. It was very helpful to read what some of you have gone through, done, reconsidered, etc. Thank you.</p>
<p>I’ve seen this discussion tacked to the cafe for eons now and never felt the desire to go there until last Sunday when the newspaper circulars were advertising back to school deals. As I thumbed through them, I realized that for the first time in 20 years I won’t be preparing a child to go back to school. Our youngest graduated college in May and has just signed a lease for his first apartment. Now I am truly an empty nester. Don’t like the idea of it. Though I work full-time in a very demanding job, I am first and foremost a mother. It’s what gives my life meaning, substance and joy. The rest is just window dressing. Sigh. </p>
<p>This weekend I’ll have to read the first 552 posts to see how others cope. DH and I have finally booked an exploratory trip to the place where we’ve always imagined ourselves retiring. Wonder if the reality will compare to our fantasy? But more to the point, I wonder whether I could actually move far away from my children. I know I’d never want the kind of distant relationship my kids had with my inlaws whom they knew only through visits 2x year.</p>
<p>I understand how you feel. Wanted to share a Ladies’ Home Journal essay just published - it’s for parents who have a child about to head off to college. Please know you are not alone! [The</a> Long Goodbye](<a href=“http://www.lhj.com/relationships/family/raising-kids/the-long-goodbye/]The”>http://www.lhj.com/relationships/family/raising-kids/the-long-goodbye/)</p>
<p>Okay that made me cry.</p>
<p>Hi, folks. I’m taking the plunge today on this thread. It’s getting real! I’m looking forward to reading the back posts and joining into the conversation.</p>
<p>D2 leaves for college 8/26 and D1 (college grad '11) starts her next internship in September. She expects to be working and then in grad school in the next year or two, and D2 strongly plans not to spend summers at home any more. So I’m seeing that 9/19, when D1 packs and goes, will be the beginning of our empty nest.</p>
<p>H is still working a lot, and I don’t have a regular job but am very busy with several P-T occupations and projects. But the lack of the day-to-day focus will be very different. I’ll really appreciate all I can learn and share here, just as I enjoyed it with the college search and admission process. CC has such great folks!</p>
<p>I am here too- not posting much but reading to get ideas. I have no idea how much time and energy D will still need (hoping it is a lot less stressful environment than h.s. and so not too much) but I foresee a big chunk of time available. I work full time but am not much of a hobbyist so not too sure what I could use the evening and weekends for.</p>
<p>Just when I was feeling melancholy that my daughter and I are down to our last few days together, I find myself so annoyed by the rising level of conflict that I almost wish she would go. Grrr. (Still, I will probably be teary at this time next week!)</p>
<p>Might I suggest a jelly roll, layer cake, or Bali Pop? :-)</p>
<p>Aha! A quilter!</p>