<p>Be prepared for your kids ti ignore many “mom-texts” and phone messages if they are busy and enjoying college. They still love you, but they are thrilled to be in their new lives and only want to be mothered at their convenience. Once the nest is empty, do what you have been putting off fir your kids’ sake. And know that for many parents, their love lives blossom when the kids are gone.</p>
<p>I can relate to looking forward to school breaks. Boy, I love my kid! But I also was looking forward to some freedom because I homeschooled and raised him solo. He is in his forts year, and I am looking forward to summer, and am trying to be patient since their schedule is later than most.</p>
<p>This is a great thread. As I’ve been reading these posts I’ve wondered why I don’t feel that “empty nest” coming on. I finally realized that, because we lost our second child, a daughter who died in infancy, we’ve already run the emotional gauntlet. We bought a dog. Moved because the house had too many memories. Took up ballroom and salsa dancing for a while. Explored but finally rejected adoption or foster kids. Collected stuff, in my case Depression glass to fill the emptiness. Depression glass, that’s ironic isn’t it? It’s all sitting in boxes now because I don’t need it any more.
So my advice from experience is to mourn your loss. You haven’t lost a child but you have lost a childhood. That takes time to accept.
I’ve planned for years to be a Child Advocate, a volunteer who represents the child in custody or foster care situations, but between home school and my own business I never had the time. I’m looking forward now to being able to serve in that manner. I’m working on the husband to get pygmy goats…somehow their preciousness is lost on him. He’s already said “No” to dog breeding. Perhaps he’ll change his mind about the goats. We seem to be collecting a lot of poultry on our farm (timber farm), we’re up to three now; geese, ducks, and chickens. Perhaps turkeys are next. I’d like to form a group of successful home school parents to mentor the newbies and act as college advisers for the parents who are still trying to figure out the process. The difference for me is that this time I’m not plugging holes from loss, I’m adding to the adventure of my life.</p>
<p>morgana199, I’m very sorry for your loss. You have a lot to teach us.</p>
<p>I really was ready for the break even as close as my son and I are. I needed to take care of myself. He’s so, so busy that we rarely have time to talk, so that is difficult from a practical standpoint and disappointing. He still talks my head off during breaks though. Looking forward to next Christmas when we plan to take a couple of weeks someplace just he and I.</p>
<p>Morgan, I homeschooled my son most of his childhood, including his senior year. I’m in a big transition and busy, but I did learn a lot in the process and helped my son get into ten top schools. I homeschooled in a very nontraditional way, but it worked for my son. Feel free to contact me about the topic of mentoring other homeschool moms. I’ll add what I can to the conversation. Journier</p>
<p>I went throught my mini depression about 5 years ago in anticipation of my one and only child heading off to college. Lost my parents, my mother in law, my beloved pet, but managed to get involved and passionate about a new hobby, found a great church community to belong to, husband became more involved in his passion for music. Even began a 2nd career as an adjunct at the local community college. Even though my D has been basically on her own and in an apartment living her own life, I find myself feeling a little bit more of the empty nest as she gets ready to graduate next week and has had serious relationship for the past 6 months. She will not be coming home this summer and hopes to launch on her own. Even though this is really nothing new, the finality of this phase of her life, just reminds me of her flying the nest and I’m feeling melancholy about this.</p>
<p>My wife and I are out there and loving every minute of it!!! (say like Kramer from Seinfeld :)…)</p>
<p>My youngest is going to be HS junior next school year. I have two years to get my act together and find some joy that doesn’t involve my kids.</p>
<p>I have experienced this as a series of stages. When S was in college, the nest wasn’t really empty but there were 4 years to ease into the eventual empty-nest. </p>
<p>Now that he has graduated, the first job was in Taiwan and this meant the nest was truly empty for those 7 months. Even with Skype, commuication was few and far in between. </p>
<p>He has a 2 month job back in the States and is on the road as we speak driving there (950 miles away to the East). Our last meal together he informed me that after this is over he is moving to San Francisco (I’m in Dallas).</p>
<p>In some ways I thing it is easier to enjoy the personal freedom and flexibility of EN when they really get on with their lives and do so at a substantial distance.</p>
<p>missypie – you could become a Texas Ranger’s fan</p>
<p>missy - you are lucky you have those two years. D just finished her freshman year at college - last year was tough without her around. Slowly adjusted to it. Focused more on 8th grade S. Anticipating all the stuff to do in HS with him. Well, he decided to head out to a prep school in the midwest! Great for him - too much for this mom to handle 
These past couple of months have felt like senior year all over again - last night was his last band concert. Several people came up to me and said they would miss him in the local HS. Sigh - the empty nest is going to be here four years too soon and I am so not ready …</p>
<p>arisamp,</p>
<p>I know what you mean about the nest emptying four years too early. Mine are 8 years apart, and son stayed with us for the summer after he finished UG, then moved to Europe where he has been since 2003. Ten days after he left, daughter went off to bs. Something tells me it is the same school your son will be attending. </p>
<p>For us it was rough, but we survived.</p>
<p>Oh my, I am so, so happy to find this thread. Am new to CC and just getting my bearings, but was delighted to stumble upon this thread.</p>
<p>My only child (dear son) will be a freshman this fall, going to a school 14 hours from home! (not a common major). I have been having intermittant anticipatory EN feelings for about 2 years now - it’s actually kind of a running joke around here, an occasional sudden weepiness and ‘well, mom must be thinking about me going off to college again!’ and then it passes, but I’m trying to brace myself.</p>
<p>Hence, I’m looking forward to reading all the sage advice here to help with the transition to a new phase of life. I’m very happy for my son - and his being able to finally be able to study and do what he loves - but I know the house will feel empty, esp during certain times of the day. Anyway, I’m already thinking of my plan to start once he goes.</p>
<p>I know I’m rambling, but just wanted to say I’m really happy that we have this support!</p>
<p>Welcome, MeteorMom!</p>
<p>I hope he is going to school in a place you will enjoy visiting (if he thinks that’s ok). That helped me.</p>
<p>Hi gloworm - thanks for the welcome! :-)</p>
<p>yes, he’ll be in Miami so now we have an excuse to visit (altho it won’t be that often) - but still, a great place to visit.</p>
<p>Actually just found out a couple of weeks ago that my husband may be going to a conference in the area in October, so that would be a perfect excuse to do our first visit - hoping it works out.</p>
<p>Thanks again!
MM</p>
<p>October in Miami should be wonderful, weather-wise. Not as hot, less humid.</p>
<p>Meteromom,
Wonderful! I hope it’s marine biology, great program. Whether you stay in south beach or coral gables, you are so close to many interesting museums/adventures. Pretty soon, you will be finding excuses to visit the UG.</p>
<p>Hi bookworm! Thanks very much for your note. Actually, my son will be in the meteorology program there (part of atmospheric sciences in RSMAS). We visited in April and really loved it - he felt like it was a great fit for a number of reasons. We did have a little time for some touristy things while we were down there, and I really look forward to more opportunities for that. If my husband’s conference plans come thru, it would be during parent’s weekend, so that would be nice, even just to get there for part of it.</p>
<p>While we were there, we talked to a student who was in the marine bio program and of course loved it (I understand it’s fantastic). I suspect my son’s roommate may be a student in that program but I guess we’ll find out once they communicate more (or when we meet him in August).</p>
<p>Thanks again! :-)</p>
<p>It’s been over a month since anyone posted to this thread?</p>
<p>Today I watched an online video of move-in day for S’ college, last year. Bad idea, instead of getting an idea what move-in day (in 3 weeks) might look like, it made me teary.</p>
<p>I have D here for 3 more years but it’s hard not to notice how fast time has gone and know that the next three will probably be faster.</p>
<p>Hugs, ohiobassmom. It does get easier. The new normal becomes almost normal.</p>
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