<p>New activity (just one day so far) for after work - Rozetta Stone. Based just on one day, very very rewarding. I am hooked for today. I wonder how long it will last though. Yesterday almost finished 2 first lessons, but di not have a chnace to attend to my other hobby and I am missing it. Empty nest is getting way too busy, blance act…and we are still searching for a second home, while both of us are full time employed and have no immediate plans to retire.</p>
<p>Counting down days to semi-empty nest when last, human child leaves for college in August 2014. (Dog will always be pre-verbal and TG, will not have to take newly revised SAT!) Spent a long time chatting on phone with sister last night and determined we both have sabbaticals at the same time–next spring 2015. So, we are hatching a fun event somewhere in the world. I also have a rite of passage BD this year and instead of having people spend money on me, I’m going to ask for support to conduct a research study in Rwanda in my field, which is women in leadership. Very exciting to look outward to helping others now that all the children (6 in the quiver) are finally launched. </p>
<p>My youngest will be graduating this spring and has a job on the other side of the mts.
She talked me into getting a dog last fall and he keeps me busy as I work on improving my mental & physical health.
Still she is always after me to take classes, to take better care of myself.
It is so sweet, I never worried about my mom like that, of course my mom had my younger brother & sisters families that kept her busy.
I feel sad that she died before either of us had time to have much of an adult relationship.
I feel stuck, trapped between trying to make life easier for H, who needs to retire, as his job is too exhausting at his age, and the knowledge hat my oldest refuses to allow me to contact her. It physically feels like an obstacle that is between me & life,
I’m hoping I can start working in the yard soon as that always was an enjoyable distraction.</p>
<p>Hi all,
I am so glad I found this thread! I have just begun reading the posts, (going backwards). It is interesting & helpful to hear what others are thinking about, struggling with & looking forward to. Our youngest heads off to college in the fall. Our oldest (college grad) has finally landed a job that will allow her to move out. That doesn’t mean she will right away, but it is on the horizon. H & I have been contemplating having more time together, how soon to retire, etc. Re retirement, the wildcard is the kids & graduate school. They have both been told grad school was on them, but I wish we could help. That would put off retirement though. </p>
<p>@emeraldkity4–I do hope things resolve between you & your daughter. Sometimes kids can really be hurtful in the way they separate & establish themselves. I hope it gets better. Good luck with your projects in the yard. BTW I recognize your ?call name? (is that what one calls it?). I have read your posts & have frequently found them helpful & wise.</p>
<p>The interests have multiplied all of a sudden. I am at loss how to juggle them as I want to do them all. I never thought I would be at this point many years ago when D. left for college. But my biggest entertainment is still my job. I am very thankful that I have it. </p>
<p>Instead of putting so much energy into wondering what I did wrong with my oldest, I am trying to really enjoy that my youngest reaches out even though I know she is swamped with end of school work.
Thanks for the positive feedback, I am working on internalizing it.
I’ve also started working on letters/ memoir, intended for my daughters- basically just remembering what I can of my childhood and relatives they didn’t know or know long.</p>
<p>We are empty nested. At first, I thought I would be really sad (like for D1 )but D2 was fouling the nest before she left for college that I was glad she was gone from the house. Kind of preparing us for empty nest. We bought our retirement home last year. Husband has his man cave and I have a new garden to plan and construct.
This year husband also is practicing retirement, he is technically semi-retire, only working 3 days/week. He wants to retire next year but when he is home and I’m working, he misses me. I think it will be a real shock when we both wont have anybody to talk to weekly.</p>
<p>My nest will truly be empty come fall. Youngest will be heading off to college; oldest will be graduating with no plans to come home. DH’s job sends him all over the country for projects lasting months at a time. While I don’t mind being the “third wheel” with other couples it gets old and it’s becoming clear to me that other couples may indeed mind. Friends we used to see very regularly for dinner, etc. have stopped calling and always seem to have plans if I call them. I am going to have to come up with “solo” activities. It’s almost like I’m single, but obviously not dating… a very strange place to be at age 50! Anyone else have a spouse who’s gone most of the time too?</p>
<p>I think last one off to college is a piece of cake compared with last one graduating. That’s my wall to climb. D2 will be an hour away. D1 may find work here (now abroad on a grant.) But it’s a sea change. Still, it’s just another adjustment, like so many others. I added to my own schedule, made new friends. Go for it. Try for activities where people naturally interact. Not just where you take another seat or do your part. </p>
<p>EK, take a writing memoirs class- you get to know each other, as they read. And, if the stars are lined up right, it can be a group you’re happy to spend time with. :)</p>
<p>My mom and stepdad are renting my room out until their lease expires, then moving to a smaller, cheaper home. I’m never going back, and they know it, so they see no use in maintaining my room. When my sister moved out her room got re-purposed into a game room, but money is tight for them and two non-bedrooms is not something they can afford to have. They still have my brother (8th grader), so they’ll probably get a two room house and not have a game room anymore.</p>
<p>Looking forward, Ive never thought of taking a class, that sounds like a great idea!
I wonder if I can get one of my book group friends to take it with me.
It sounds like it could be very empowering.
I found a workshop at a writers space for next month!</p>
<p>Got completely hooked to Rosetta Stone, very addictive. I miss my other hobby, but I cannot help myself. Very entertaining…I started watching Spanish channel, (after couple weeks of Rosetta Stone). They are sooooo fast, I can pick up only few words, but again, it is more entertaining than watching anything else, more challenging. I found myself understand in general (of course with the help of pictures). Looking forward to do the same today and every day after work and gym and walking…I will wait until it will get boring…</p>
<p>I am reading a great book, The Launching Years, by Laura Kastner PhD. Subtitle is “Strategies for Parenting from Senior Year to College Life” (apologies if this has been mentioned previously). She covers launching into adulthood including typical experiences during the summer after high school graduation and freshman year in college from both the student and parent perspectives. I think it will help my thinking about my daughter’s upcoming transition.</p>
<p>We don’t have an empty nest yet, but @mizkittysplace - Max is often gone on missions, so I’m solo. I either go alone or plan other activities.</p>
<p>Some days I look forward to the empty nest. Some days I dread it. Today, I’m dreading it. Totally freaking out today. </p>
<p>Barnardmom, I completely get it. I will be an empty nester come August. I already have “celebratory” Hawaii trip planned for next winter, with no kids. But come this September, people will probably find quiet tears streaming down. But I’ve talked to many people who say we won’t “not know what to do without the kids” for long. </p>
<p>I thought being an empty nester would give me a lot more time to enjoy hobbies and such, but so far it hasn’t. Between a very demanding job that has long hours, literally intrudes on my life 7 days a week (needed in large part to pay for college and hopefully put money away for retirement as well, not easy), and a long list of projects around the house that got deferred because of immediate needs with my son over the years, and well, leisure still seems something that will happen, hasn’t happened…</p>
<p>^Send a kid to college on tuition free scholarship and hire help around the house. But on the other hand, you might be enjoying your very busy life, so, continue enjoying. We personally are in negative, not enough income to pay tuition, but neither job would pay overtime any way, so withdrawals are solution. So, my H. choses to work very many hours every week, and I choose to have many hobbies. Looking back at our lives in this late stage of it, everything is a matter of choice</p>
<p>I took the writing workshop. Very inspirational.
The two other women at my table were older than I. One was writing a memoir about the past three years she lived with her husband in Mumbai. Through the massacre, his illness and his death.
The other joined the Peace Corp after a career as an attorney & then as a caterer, but what she was writing about was the past few years she spent in Morocco, helping the women there become more independent.</p>
<p>I think I need an adventure.</p>