@MaineLonghorn, I’m sure my sons miss the cats more than they miss me. One suggested he be allowed the cat as a therapy animal, because she helps him relax 
We are enjoying watching our kids mature. We’re happy to have transitioned to new relationships where we are guiding when they need help but are not active day to day (although I think ShawD touched in with ShawWife several times a week).
We took ShawD out for dinner last night. She’s back from 3 months backpacking in SE Asia after 5 years of school fall/winter/summer with jobs all year-round to get a BSN/MSN. She is looking for a job and learning to drive. At dinner, she asked for advice about how to handle phone interviews (she just had a couple). I offered to travel with her to various cities she’s considering (but has never visited). She also talked about going on a few dates.
ShawSon called for advice about what courses to sign up for. He’s got a couple of very hard courses, one in a CS/Math subject and one entrepreneurial course in which a two or three VCs guide teams in starting companies. In the latter, the VCs fund about half of the students going forward but the VCs are, perhaps unsurprisingly, very demanding. So, he was looking for at least one easy course. He tried out a couple and one is in my field. He called pleasantly surprised to find that most of the readings in this course are written by me or by a good friend who is is his godfather. He’s read one of my books, but this course relies almost exclusively on another book and some articles related to the book he read. Relative to his skills and knowledge, this course, while not light in work, should be pretty easy for him.
Is anyone else feeling the post-holiday blues? My adult daughters (post-college) were here for Christmas and one was able to stay for New Year’s Eve but both were gone by last Sunday. It has been very cold here, I’m sick, and I have a lot of work. My life as a mom and with a family seems so distant.
My D1 left Wednesday, she is senior and this is the first time I didnt tear up at the airport. After having a son graduate in 2015, one would think I would have the hang of it, but nope! D2 has a very long break, and doesnt go back until the week of 1/15.
Just the opposite for me. Because by the time he was a senior in HS my relationship with my son was very fraught and tense, during his first year of college I was not upset at all when he left to go back to campus! But here it is halfway through sophomore year, our relationship has gotten much better and more easygoing, so now when he left to go back I was finally sad about it!
We are not, but we were at a NYE party given by some older friends. We described some traditions we have – including time capsules questionnaires we and the kids have filled out each year since our youngest was two. We share our current answers and then open the old ones and read them aloud. We are asking questions about the skills we learned this year, our greatest accomplishments of the year, what we like to do less of, how we see ourselves in five years, etc. Plus favorite foods, movies, books, etc. This year, we stayed at home of New Years and both kids were back (though one flew off to meet his GF’s parents). ShawWife assumed that ShawD would join us and when I explained that that wasn’t going to happen, we accepted the invitation of her friend.
So, the hosts explained to us, almost proudly, that they didn’t have any traditions over holidays, etc. These are lovely people. The H has led major and really beneficial service projects and created organizations to help villages in Africa and building houses post-Katrina. Later in the same conversation, they noted sadly that their kids don’t invite them to Thanksgiving or Passover or Rosh Hashanah.
We think that creating our family traditions – on RH, we have had a “Birthday Party for the World” etc. – and creating warm events, the kids have warm feelings about doing stuff with us. So, later in the week, we had celebrate the new year with the kids and did our time capsule entries.
We suspect their lack of family traditions is part of the cause of their current sadness at not getting invited to their kids.
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@shawbridge, I love that time capsule idea. Wish I would have thought about it. I find myself regretting not “doing the right things” to build memories in some cases.
I will probablly have my two oldest move out this year, one to transfer schools and the other to begin college. I’m already redecorating their rooms in my mind. My daughter will be a junior in high school by then and able to drive. She has been my most active child, by far so her driving will free up about 8 hours a week alone! Maybe i’ll lose the 20 pounds I’ve gained since I’ve gotten married in my free time!
Go for it, @threebeans. We are working psychologically on selling the house that we raised our kids in – we don’t need a 5 BR house in walking distance to an elementary school any more and we feel it would really be appreciated by a young family.
Our nest is now half-empty. My older D has moved home while she starts her teaching career. It is going well but has been an adjustment for all of us
It is a strange feeling after 6 years into empty nest and all of sudden she returned home and will stay a while. D is in med school, 2nd year. Her “summer vacation” has already begun in Early May. However, there is no VACATION for her at all. First, right after Final, she has to prepare the test of her “life” - The USMLE Step 1 in early June, so, she is studying at home day and night. Nevertheless, she is home and with three to feed, it is very different from two. Lot more dishes to wash and food prep is so much different. Can’t imagine how did we do it for the 18 years prior.
As soon as she completed her test, she is on her way to medical rotation, Empty Nest AGAIN!
We had at times our vegetarian kid who comes home and we basically eat vegetarian for a week. It is some thing I could get used to.
You are doing her a big favor, artloverplus, just giving her a nice environment and B&B including meals and emotional support. Would not expect any socialization much from her. This test is stressful. Time will pass soon enough and you will be back to your regular lifestyle.
It’s funny–in our empty nest, we go to doctors appts and medical conferences so I can stay up to date with my nonprofit. H and I enjoy it as they are mostly in nice cities that we might not otherwise visit. The healthcare providers and exhibitors are pretty nice and we learn a lot that we share when we return to HI. Sometimes our kids meet us in locations we are at, which is an added bonus.
Dear Lord, Please help me experience this ( thread title) some day in my life for more than just a month. Help my 30 year old S to want to live somewhere else.
Probably not going to happen. There are issues… ( Although not really sure what they are. Neither do the doctor’s, I think)
I finally experienced an empty nest for two weeks. My mom lives with us but was sick and went in a rehab center after the hospital (To regain strength after recovering from illness) and S came home from his first year of college two weeks later. I feel guilty saying it was nice to have freedoms that we don’t when taking care of an elder with dementia. I don’t foresee another empty nest situation for a long time. I still enjoy reading what the rest of you do with your new circumstances.
It was my parents’ 50th anniversary this weekend. I can’t tell you how many people asked DH and I how we are handling the empty nest. Truth is (and we were a bit embarrassed to admit) we have never been better. We love our daughter to the moon and back and would do anything for her (including paying out of pocket $70,000 a year for college that we had to take out a second mortgage to pay)…but the fact is, we have never gotten along better.
@eastcoascrazy I know you posted a year ago, but do you know that the Heirloom app is shutting down? There is a message on their website about saving your photos before this happens.
Thanks, @snowball ! I spent a rather frantic week in early July transferring photos from Heirloom to Google Photos and Shutterfly for storage.
I found another scanning IPhone app. It is called Photoscan. It does a better job of eliminating glare from the photos, and automatically transfers them to Google Photos.
I have completed scanning every old family photo from both my husband’s any my side, from the late 1800’s to1996.
Just back from helping oldest D move into grad school apartment almost 6 hours away. Youngest D leaves for under grad in about 10 days. I am sad but trying to stay busy. Sometimes for me the anticipation is worse than the actual event. .
I enrolled in a couple of classes at the local vocational school. I am excited and nervous.
Good for you veruca! I am in my second year at local U taking audit classes and love it.