Just got home from taking D to college. The empty nest has officially started. I cried as I got in the car -but I am doing OK now. I think an adult beverage may be on for tonight.
Hugs to you Veruca. One day at a time! For everyone! 
<3
There’s a new book called Mrs. Fletcher by Tom Perrotta about a divorced mom whose son is leaving for his first year of college and her experience of the empty nest. I just read the sample available online, and I like it. It alternates between the mom and the aspiring frat boy son, who anticipates lots of partying, but starts to flounder. From reading about it online, I do know the mom, who is a senior center director and in her late 40s, starts getting into Internet porn, so this book may not be for everyone.
Well that is one way to cope that I hadn’t considered 
Love the premise. Probably not the most likely path for CC empty nesters, but made me laugh.
We are now long-time empty-nesters – our youngest left for college in 2011, I believe. She is now 24 and working as a nurse practitioner and works in a town one and half hours away. She has a boyfriend who lives in our city and drives in most weekends, so we see her every two or three weeks. Our son is Silicon Valley, finishing up grad school and starting his second company. He calls me regularly for business advice – he calls to report successes as well as to ask for my advice on strategic matters (valuation, first hire, etc.) plus general feedback (name of company) and encouragement. We spend the winter on the west coast and see him about every other week. Plus he had a major surgery last spring and he stayed with us for about three weeks while he was recovering.
So, while empty, the nest has a few visits and lots of meetings. We were hiking in the Canadian Rockies and met a retired couple who had one kid in Calgary and one kid in Ottawa. When they retired, they moved from the Toronto area to Canmore (a former mining town in the Canadian Rockies) at the advice of both kids – the Calgarian grandkids come up on weekends and the grandkids from Ottawa come for vacations. We’re wondering if we can have a place that enables those visits.
I had my first classes at vo-tech. Wow things have changed. So much more casual than in my day (almost 30 years ago) Also -technology- how did we manage college without the Internet and phones???
Cant find your class? pull up the campus map, want to get something really important down ? take a picture of it. Want to find a cheaper textbook? shop or rent online. A total game changer.
I’m making some time for me and have my first electrolysis session tomorrow because women shouldn’t have whiskers :)>-
Sell the house, be a short term renter, take contract jobs throughout the us (wife can work anywhere close to a major airport), if the kids stay in college and dont screw up go see them from time to time.
Lots of husband and wife time (: and travel!!
Offspring have been out of the house since 2009 / 2011, but right in there my mother moved in for a couple of years. She moved to her own apartment about eighteen months ago. Empty nesting, round 2 for DH and me. Then he got a job out of state – empty nesting for me, myself, and I, round 1. But Karma is sometimes kind, and the puppy we’d been waiting for showed up three weeks after DH and I got our out-of-state apartment set up. We kept the house since DH is coming back as soon as he can find something here. Puppy and I hold down the fort and go around different parts of the country visiting family.
Husband and I are only children of widowed mothers in their 80s. They both live in the area here, and I’ve been doing some errands, a little help with downsizing and housekeeping, admin support when they ask for it, things like that. There are days it really really helps to have a dog. :o3
Over the past year, we’ve been playing an online game and over the past few months, have met some other empty-nesting adults and have started several friendships with them.
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We are painting all three bedrooms, and rearranging some furniture. Goodbye bright blue color that we let our little one pick out years ago! Goodbye glow-in-the-dark stickers on the ceiling. Goodbye IKEA this and that on the walls. Goodbye rainbow ceiling fan. Yes, kids, when you come home for the holidays, I don’t want you to recognize “your” rooms!
I will approach this empty nest phase of life by doing things that will make me busy like travelling and joining a club or and associations.
Just when we were seriously contemplating turning S’s room into an office, he’s talking about moving back after 11+ years away! We may lose our empty nest.
I’m still a few years away from an empty nest, but I’m down to one kid at home. And he will be getting his drivers license in January, so I won’t be needed for mom-taxi anymore.
I am excited about this change. Love my kids to no end… but I have other interests, too. I’ve only been able to participate in those interests minimally for the last 20 years. Time to ramp back up!
I’m having a tough time right now. I’ve been an empty nester since 2007, but I continued working full time. Then, I quit; we downsized, we got another dog, I got some contract work, I organized singlehandedly my 50th HS reunion, and I taught English as a Second Language to recent immigrants. I was really busy.
Now, I go to the gym three times a week and I walk the dogs (for an hour +) three or four days a week. However, the contract work has dried up, I stopped the volunteer work – it was too intense – the HS reunion came and went, and I am really bored!! This can’t be my life for the next 30 years. I’ve got to find something to sink my teeth into. I’m really frustrated.
How about taking some courses and see if anything resonates? Less intense volunteering?
Thanks, @Himom. I’m poking around, talking to lots of people, helping young colleagues, meeting lots of friends for lunch, going to talks at our local libraries, getting in touch with people I haven’t spoken to in a while, keeping my eyes very very open. I’m hopeful that something will turn into something else.
But in the last 48 hours, I learned that one good local friend is moving a thousand miles away for a necessary job, and another friend whom I’ve known since we were 12 has pancreatic cancer.
I suspect old age is going to be an uphill slog against depression and despair.
I’m obviously not feeling very positive right now.
@VeryHappy I am still working full time, but after being a very busy mother of three, my youngest went off to school 4.5 years ago. I was lost at first, but then started playing tennis again. Now I am playing 4-5 times a week on 3different teams and I love it. Some ideas:I like the idea of a class. Maybe some sort of art? Or how about Pickle ball? I just saw a cute video on ESPN about an over 80 Women’s basketball team and some of the women didn’t start playing until they were in their 60’s. Or maybe something with the dogs like Agility, Flyball or even getting them certified to be therapy dogs and volunteer that way? Maybe Bridge? Or a lot of colleges have OLLI classes. Maybe that would be fun?
Good luck!
Thanks, @tx5athome. In the past, I’ve suggested things to others exactly like you have to me. None of them is a bad idea. I guess I’m just not feeling very – oh, energetic right now, or interested in pursuing anything. Something will happen, as long as I keep getting out there and being with people.
You may need a bit of a breather, though consider the source. My solution to everything is a little time on the couch to think it over.
Fake it 'til you make it has gotten me through some awful times and led to unexpected opportunities – sounds like maintaining momentum will preserve and lead to something you value. In the meantime, take care of you. Schedule a physical if it’s been too long, eat and sleep well, treat yourself.