@VeryHappy Be kind to yourself. It’s a big transition, going from lots of projects to lots of free time. Think about how many years your days were filled with things you “had to do”. Now you’ve got a lot of freedom to construct your days differently.
Good luck! Glad to read you are getting out there and being with people, even if nothing is clicking for you right now.
I know. When the kids were little, I was working full time and commuting over three hours a day. I wish I could “average” that time of my life with this time of my life and be occupied just the right amount of time!
Here’s what has worked for me: taking a university class (free audit on campus) for the past 2 years. This semester is an art class- so interesting and fun! And continuing to volunteer at the park service. (I also have 3 good friends who moved.) I think I do better limiting my activities and commitments to 2. All the rest is spontaneous activity.
We started playing an online game, Pokemon Go and have made several new friends who are also empty nesters that way. We are among the older players but have a lot of fun. We hadn’t expected to make real new friends this way and it amuses our kids that we’ve made friends this way as they play too but haven’t made new friends.
One of our new friends volunteers at the blind library, reading the newspaper aloud (including the ads). She does this regularly and they tape it so patrons can hear the news. One of our new friends helps care for aging relatives and walks up to the top of their hill, down and then back up to their house. They are often shopping and cooking for too. Another helps care for her granddaughter.
I also started a nonprofit at age 50 and have met a lot of friends that way. We have support group meetings and other activities. I get upset when some of my patients move away and even sadder when done die, but try to bond more with the healthcare folks who are healthier so I’m not as sad.
I bought some painting kits at Costco and H and I will attempt some painting—oil and water color. (Haven’t done it yet but think it will be fun to try.). The kits were quite reasonable and contained everything.
H putters around, doing lots of deferred maintenance for home and yard.
I’ve had some bumps along the way but mostly have been enjoying this new chapter of our lives.
Learn to play violin. A weekly lesson, an hour of practice per day, and in two years you’ll be good enough to join an local community orchestra.
Maybe three years. 
Making music with a group is a lot of fun.
This is helping me think about retirement too. My youngest will have his degree in May, and I always said I would put off retirement until the kids were through school and debt was paid off. Well fortunately they don’t have any debt, so my criteria will be gone.
I am really starting to think about what I will do once I retire. I had dinner with a friend last week, and she said for her work is part of her social life, and just her weekends get lonely, so she can’t imagine retiring.
Another friend mentioned taking classes through “Ollie,”or something like that. They are free/inexpensive classes and they are not all semester long. It sounds like many universities are affiliated with this program.
Keeping our minds and our bodies active and alert is really important as our kid and work responsibilities die down.
Good luck @VeryHappy. Do let us know what your “next thing” turns out to be.
It’s tough to go from busy to not busy…very hard for me. I actually feel better about myself when I’m bringing home some money. Plus, it gets me out of the house and I’m around people. Can you find a PT job? Just 2 or 3 days a week. I then feel better when I’m home and having breakfast/lunch dates with friends. I did join a meetup group which has been fun most of the time. It takes awhile to get to really know people, but I’m starting to find my favorites. Most of my friends and DH still work, so that’s an issue. @VeryHappy …I totally get looking into the old age future. As I’m convelescing from surgery, it really has shown me how life must be for elderly people in pain, that can’t get around without help. It actually has depressed me a bit thinking of that and then I have to stop.
I tried volunteering at a grade school, but I found all I was doing was watching the clock. I think I’ve become ingrained that I want a paycheck for my time and effort.
@veryhappy, I have a clear way of thinking about how to make these kinds of life transitions (by investing in community, structure and meaning). For many, our jobs are major contributors to our community, the structure of our day-to-day lives and our sense of meaning. Working on a HS reunion may not add much to community or structure because it is so transient and probably does little for your sense of meaning. I’m not planning to retire as I love what I do (fortunately, I’m well-known in my field and am the co-founder of my firm). But, I do intend to expand the proportion of time I use for pro bono work using my distinctive skill set. This will help expand my sense of meaning and probably increase my community.
Are there ways to use what you’ve built up over the years – your knowledge, skills, reputation and relationships – to help either for pay or as a volunteer? I think this might provide both a sense of continued meaning and would not be boring.
I actually retired from the corporate world in 2012, and for the last five years, I have worked for pay performing a portion of my old job – the portion I loved, and which doesn’t feel like work at all. I’ve been doing this work for a consulting firm, working for many different clients. In 2016, I worked 550 hours. But in 2017, the work really dried up, and I only worked 198 hours. If I could get back up to ~500 hours, I’d be delighted, and the time I’m not working would be wonderful.
That’s my frustration. I just wish I were busier with more work.
I am involved in a couple of volunteer activities, but they’re not all that satisfying. I’m still searching for my prince. 
(And working on my HS reunion was, actually, extremely satisfying! Tracking down 240 people was challenging but, ultimately, very successful. I connected people who were thrilled to be connected to each other, and I myself connected with people I used to be very very close to and now am again. Rekindling those relationships has made me really happy.)
I can really picture how nice it must be to have just the right amount of satisfying, rewarding work to do.
Do you see any other avenues for getting your work load back up to that sweet spot of ~500 hours? Have you told everyone you know that is what you are looking for?
I sure have! I’m not at all shy about it. It’s frustrating now, but I continue to be optimistic. I know that sometimes things just need the stars to align, and then – boom!! I’m trying to get those damn stars to align!
My H’s HS class has started having annual get togethers since his 50th HS reunion. @VeryHappy, would that be something you may enjoy? It has ranged between a cruise to Alaska, a trip to Niagra Falls and DC, and a trip to Vegas and OR, as well as a cruise around our state. We have been to 2 of the 4 trips and they were great fun. Dozens of folks attended each event.
VeryHappy, I don’t know what kind of work was so satisfying to you, but just in case it’s helpful, I have a suggestion. I volunteered for the Crisis Text Line, a text-based service to assist people in crisis. Counselors are trained and supervised to help texters in crisis find their strengths and make a plan to move to a calm, safe place. It was very satisfying work. Training and volunteering can be done on any computer with internet service and shifts are available 24/7. The organization asks counselors who complete training for 200 hours over a year of volunteering, but many sign up for more. Shifts are available 24/7.
https://www.crisistextline.org/how-it-works/
https://www.crisistextline.org/volunteer/
Although most crisis counselors are in their 20s, there’s a sizeable and interesting contingent of empty-nest volunteers as well.
@oldmom4896 : That looks like an interesting and extremely worthwhile activity. How long did you do it for? Why did you stop?
@VeryHappy, I volunteered for a year, doing more than the 200 hours. At the end of the year (almost to the day), I had knee replacement surgery, and as soon as I was off the Percocet, I started studying for my MSW, inspired and encouraged by my experience on the Crisis Text Line, and with the encouragement of several of my supervisors. My first semester was pretty overwhelming, returning to school after graduating from college in 1971! I just started the second semester (fieldwork continued except the public school vacation week), and I hope to be able to start doing a shift once in a while soon.
You graduated from college only one year after I did. Congratulations on returning to school “at your age”!!
I haven’t checked out this thread in awhile but was motivated to do so as I’m in a position somewhat similar to @VeryHappy’s. I do contract work which is very intermittent but 2017 brought a significant project and I worked more than I had in a number of years. I earned my certificate in college counseling a few years ago and volunteer for 2 NFPs working with low income high school students as their advisor. I also learned to play bridge about 5 years ago and had two standing once a week bridge dates at a local bridge center (many times they are canceled due to travel, conflicts, etc. but I loved having them on the calendar). For reasons that really are good, one of them just ended.
So, now, I have no work (my boss says that could change but she has no idea when and usually it’s just a few hours here and there rather than the big project of 2017), college apps are all in and it’s a slow time with my volunteer work and I will be playing less bridge than normal. So, I’m a bit adrift. I’d actually like to find a new volunteer effort but, despite choosing to become a college advisor, I have discovered that working one on one with individuals is not my favorite; I’d much rather work with a group of people and in an administrative capacity organizing something, figuring out next steps, making processes more efficient, etc.
Reading this thread tells me I should check out “meet ups” and also look at course offerings at local colleges and/or online. Finding truly meaningful (for me) volunteer work that doesn’t involve one-on-one work stumps me. I think I just have a case of the blues at the moment. I’m generally a very optimistic person so, as they say, this too shall pass.
Good luck finding more work and/or just the right activities for you, @VeryHappy and others seeking the same.
@collage1, I’ll meet you for lunch and we’ll figure this out together.
^^it’s a date!!
Woohoo!!