@ABBTeam, I agree. I found that I was doing a fair bit of coaching in undergrad and even grad school. Now that they are both working, I am doing less, but my ShawD is moving to San Francisco and wanted to review with me her strategy to find a job and when she needed a letter from her former Dean, she reviewed her email with me. We have also talked about strategies for saving. We have also discussed how to deal with her frustration at the management of the clinic where she now works – she is a family nurse practitioner and loves working with patients but is frustrated at the management of this clinic compared to the one where she worked earlier. The good news, she realized she needs to fold that in to her strategy for finding the next job. My son is doing incredibly well in his work – he and his partner have just raised $10 MM for their 1.5 yo startup. He called me to talk over a tough hiring decision and we have talked about what is going to happen with him and his GF.
We have the benefits of the Empty Nest – more freedom to travel, weekday night dinners with friends, etc. But, the parenting just transitions to coaching and it doesn’t end at college.
One thing we are trying to do is travel with our kids. We have scheduled hiking in the Canadian Rockies with them. Were also are traveling ourselves – had a couple of weeks in Italy last month.
One interesting milestone. I was in San Francisco to visit a prospective client and work with the company I co-founded this year (a good thing to do with an empty nest). The company my son co-founder had just done their next round of funding and the money had hit the bank so I joined the team for a celebratory beer. But, it was my birthday and my son took me out for dinner. The milestone: this marks the first time either of the kids has actually paid for my dinner.
I have been advocating pro bono or volunteer work for empty nesters, but my startup has a social mission and so I’m combining social mission and for profit enterprise. So far so good.
Per the Huffpost article, we are thinking of having Thanksgiving in the Bay Area since both kids will be there. We have rented a houseboat for a few winters and will see if they will rent to us for Thanksgiving.
One thing about being a couple without a child at home any longer (I hate the term empty nest) that has surprised me, is that the feelings involved come and go, and that there are highs as well as lows. I was surprised to swing from elation about my daughter’s recent graduation and admission to a top PhD program, to some sad moments of grieving being the three of us and all the wonderful time we had raising this amazing woman. I was surprised that sad feelings have occurred after college graduation, not just high school. Figuring out what to do with our time and money no longer going to college hasn’t been a problem though.
.”I was surprised that sad feelings have occurred after college graduation, not just high school. Figuring out what to do with our time and money no longer going to college hasn’t been a problem though.”
I think this is not that uncommon. For me when my kids were still in College, our home was still their home. Their dorm or college apartment was just a temporary place they were staying. They had gone to sleep away camp for years and were gone for two months so not that different than college only their were shorter stats in between with college. Only after college when they were moving out did I really feel like the nest was empty.
Yes, this is the summer fore our youngest child’s senior year in college and I’m starting to feel a little blue. It’s really her last long stay at home, although I suppose she might stay here a little while next summer before starting a job someplace. I don’t expect her to stay in Maine. She’s a wonderful young lady and will be sorely missed.
Its not until I dropped her off at her apartment near her Residency Hospital that the empty nesting feeling real hit me. She, my only child, had really flew out of the nest. I have never felt that way, even she was away for UG and med school. Its like she will be home any time and I have prepared for it. However, now the reality hits, she is away for good, she will be a fine doctor and be happily married in the future. We will have grand children and so on. My life will take a turn as well, I will be truelly into the retirement and travel planning will be the way of life, a job for me for the better.
BTW, when this thread was started 10 years ago, D was graduating from HS, she was leaving home for college, time flies.
I’m still busy with my nonprofit and also an online game, PokémonGo which has introduced me to some interesting new friends. I started the nonprofit as my kids left for college and it has helped me expand my world in the medical and public health space.
Loving life. Feels so good to know the last one is starting the first chapter of adulthood in August. We cannot wait to visit the kids in college this autumn and winter. In the interim, we are moving from Singapore to Boston or Charleston dependent upon my wife’s employment situation.
I have to agree that the 4 years of college involved plenty of coaching. D has now graduated and will be moving to a new city and I’m still coaching (we traveled there to look at apts together, she asked me about renters insurance/etc., and I’ll help her move, for example) , but this will be her first real home that isn’t mine. Weird.
You may recall I’m not really “home” either - for the past year and a half I’ve been traveling the majority of the time with brief returns for business and family check-ins.
Older S has been holding down the fort (my house) with a roommate very happily and will continue to for a few more months, Then I will have some decisions to make.
I’ve been able to sample living abroad (and elsewhere in US) in a few places so far - working all the while. Learned a lot about liking being alone and also meeting people. I both enjoy the travel and occasionally feel like nesting again. Feeling very lucky to be able to this now.
So that’s been my way to deal with the empty nest - I left it too.
While my nest isn’t empty, it will be very soon. This is probably the last summer DS will come home and DD begins college this fall. One piece of advice I received was to “Say Yes” - so even when I would rather not, I have been saying “Yes” to doing things. In the past two weeks I have golfed for the first time in years, taken a plane ride to go out for dinner with friends and shopped quite a bit at the farmers market and played more board games than I have in years! I am not an extrovert so my first impulse is to try to get out of things but in every case, when I said yes I have enjoyed myself a lot!
I’m busy with work and stuff around the house. I get out with a friend to a movie or for a cocktail about once every 2-3 weeks, sometimes longer if we are both busy.
I have the hiking club every Sunday, which is a life-saver, but connections outside of Sunday hiking are not readily presenting themselves.
Having the kids around was great for doing things on the spur of the moment, or just having someone to go on a Target run with me, or help me weed the garden.
I have recently become very very very active with volunteer work with a wonderful organization. I’ve become busy for a few hours most days of the week, and it’s gotten me in touch with some wonderful people. It feels like “work-lite,” and I’m enjoying it very much.
I’m enjoying my empty nest. Finally. I wish could sell this house tomorrow. Right now too much time spent trying to keep it in show shape.
I’ve signed up for courses, have a ton of paperwork and house projects. Still too much to do that I dislike doing. And at least one of the kids has some drama going at all times even though they are no longer living in my house.
I have a seasonal job with limited time responsibilities which is perfect for me. Gets me into the community. That and volunteer work, extended family visits and catching up with old friends. Also too much time on Here, CC, as I work my way through dry dry material on my computer. More fun to switch over here. This is actually keeping me plodding along