<p>“I actually considered the peace corps… a little extreme but apealing.”</p>
<p>Go for it! I have a friend who did the Peace Corps in her 60s. I know someone else who – after her kids grew up – became a nurse and then spent time in India with Mother Theresa. I met the woman when she was doing an immersion program in Spanish in Ecuador. Enjoy life. Dare to live your dreams while you’re still able. </p>
<p>As Mark Twain said: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”</p>
<p>NSM - I think you might consider a little side business giving motivational counseling and guidance to lost empty nesters. You got it going on!
Anyway, your description of your drawing class is interesting to me. I tried a drawing class last year and the teacher made us draw with our eyes closed for the whole class. Wow…frustrating. Look at the teapots and jars arranged in the middle of the table, close your eyes and DRAW. My work looked horrible of course. Never went back. I guess I need to try a different class!</p>
<p>My ex-aunt (divorced my uncle) joined the Peace Corps after her kids were done with college. She went to Thailand and loved it so much she’s back there more or less permanently now still doing good works there. She’s one of the 1950’s Betty Friedan women who was really stifled by marriage, but really blossomed after the divorce. I ended up really liking and admiring her, while she was my least favorite aunt before!</p>
<p>toneranger - that’s too bad that the closed eye drawing scared you off. It’s really just supposed to be an exercise in loosening up. I can’t imagine however devoting an entire class to it! You should definitely try another class - around here at least it’s very easy to find very different approaches.</p>
<p>Your post demonstrates how incredibly important good teachers are…with a different approach, you might be drawing up a storm right now. How many of us have gone out on a limb and taken an art class, a dance class, a cooking class, a language class, only to enounter a terrible teacher and never go back. (I remember the ONE step aerobics class and the ONE yoga class that I took.) Think of our kids who are sometimes stuck with equally terrible teachers but can’t just drop the class like we can!</p>
Me too! With my youngest being a high school senior, I just can’t imagine not being with kids. Even though I have a profession that I used to love, I think that my heart is really elsewhere now. Raising my children was very best job I ever had. Northstarmom is very inspiring - maybe I am not really too old to try something else!</p>
<p>Remember that you can try new things that involve being with kids. For instance, I’ve made many young friends by taking courses at the local community college and becoming active in community theater. I also have done volunteer work doing leadership and other workshops with kids, including kids who were co-facilitators with me.</p>
<p>In addition, I’ve helped organizations that I’m in attract more young people. It’s important to help organizations recognize that young people can be full members and contributors, not just recipients of their services.</p>
<p>I know exactly what you mean about going out on a limb and bombing out because of a bad teacher. I tried an interior decorating course; I should have LOVED it, it has everything I love doing and working with, but she was so bad I was so turned off and felt so incompetent I don’t even like picking out paint colours for my own house anymore!</p>
<p>But I am casting around for something meaningful and interesting to do now that S2 will be leaving in the fall. But raising my kids has been the best job I ever had as well. Right now I feel that nothing else can ever compare.</p>
<p>missiepie…you are so right about teachers. I wish there was an online place to check them out - kind of like tripadvisor (love it for hotels). I guess you ask around and just keep trying until you find a good one.
Anyway, I tried yoga for the first time three years ago. It was hard the first time but the teacher was wonderful. I still attend her classes three days per week…and it feels great…best thing I ever did for my old creaky body.</p>
<p>At least at the gym you can peek into classes and sort of check them out. I know for a fact that I’d never do the spinning class at my gym…no desire to have a 22 year old girl yell at me for a hour!</p>
<p>you could spend your days reading college confidential, passing on your “wisdom” from back in the day and arguing with others, all for benefit of contemporary parents and/or their college-bound kids. some of these (mostly moms) have hundreds - maybe thousands - of posts. really, things change a lot and issues today are much different from as recently as a few years ago. just get a life.</p>
<p>A year ago I was facing empty nest and feeling very down. It occurred in August and I was depressed. After a few weeks I forced my H to go to various things on weekends w/ me. We went to farmers markets and garlic festivals, etc. We had spontaneous sex anywhere in the house at any time. We where actually beginning to enjoy it, as we were told we would.</p>
<p>Then we got the call from my son’s college. (He was suppose to graduate fall '08) He was not attending classes and was not progressing on his senior thesis. We spent the remain 3 months constantly attending to him to force him to complete the senior thesis, which had to be done in residence. This required constant travel to the school, communication etc. etc. He did not graduate. He still needed one more class . He took it at our local state school and transferred it back.</p>
<p>He graduated in May w/ a physics major, math minor from a top LAC. Two weeks later he was arrested w/ a DWI. Ironically, he is not a big drinker, ie rarely drinks. His emotions get the better of him, which affects his decision making abilities, hence DWI and school problems. He is getting counseling.</p>
<p>Two weeks after sons arrest, D called to say her bf just broke up w/ her. Trouble is, she is living w/ her bf in NYC. He lives there and owns his condo. She is a summer analyst there living at his condo. (She also had an internship last summer and lived w/ him) Bf told her she had to move out immediately. D is completely shocked. She now has no where to live in NYC, is heart broken and has an internship that requires being there at 6:30 am until whenever (earliest 6 pm) pm. More often much later than 6 pm. So we, parents are scrambling to find her a place to live. H went down to NYC last Wed. to move her into a temporary place until July 1st. Where she goes after that is still not set.</p>
<p>The hardest part of this is how broken hearted she is. We have had many late night and early morning hysterical or minimal crying pleads. It kills us as parents.</p>
<p>Finally, our D2 ran a car into a ditch last night. No drinking! She was towed out. No damage to kid. Damage to car, we will finf out Monday.</p>
<p>I WOULD LOVE TO EXPERIENCE EMPTY NEST AGAIN!!</p>
<p>morrismm…so sorry about what you have gone through. We’ve been through a similiar series of events over the past couple of years, car wrecks(plural), failing grades, arrests. When it rains, it pours. I hope it all works out for your NY D1 and glad your D2 was not hurt in the wreck. Also hope the counseling will help your S get on track. </p>
<p>Ok, so I just returned from a great “empty nest weekend”. (S1 just graduated fr. college last month and S2 just finished freshman yr. but is staying at college for summer sch.<br>
So this is our first summer without a kid at home in 22 years.)</p>
<p>On Thurs., DH got online and started searching for a weekend destination for us (we were celebrating our 27th anniv. on Fri.). I’m downstairs washing dishes when he calls out, “come look at this”. He had found a beautiful tiny cabin on a mountain lake less than two hrs. fr. home (if you saw the movie “Dirty Dancing”, it’s that lake). Amazingly enough it was not rented for the weekend. He called reserved it and two hours later we were on our way. The owner even let us bring our dog!</p>
<p>We spent three great days canoeing, swimming in cool clear emerald green water, dripping dry on the deck atop the boathouse, while reading books, snacking, watching boats go by and the sun go down. We ate every meal (on nobody’s schedule but our own) on the deck because the view of the lake surrounded by mountains was gorgeous. On Friday night we went to a free blugrass concert on the park nearby. </p>
<p>We came back to the real world this morning,lol. </p>
<p>It sounds corny to say but it was almost magical because there was no big pre-planning or build up. It was such an impulsive thing that we would never have done when the kids were at home. We had a great time and hope to do it again before the summer is over. </p>
<p>The empty nest feels strange and almost uncomfortable at first but it does free you to do/try things that you never would have before.</p>
<p>We’re not there yet but we feel like we’re on the way. ShawbridgeSon heads off to college in the fall, but he was on a gap year this year and while living at home was pretty independent. ShawbridgeDaughter is a rising junior at a private school where half the kids board and she often eats breakfast and dinner there (included in our tuition) and spends weekends in the houses in nice places owned by her friends’ parents. ShawbridgeDaughter is spending the next 5 weeks in another city working in her uncle’s biology lab and ShawbridgeSon is going to spend much of July traveling with friends. So, we feel like we’re partway there. </p>
<p>For my partially empty-nest project, I’m starting a book (rough outline done) and am going to do a little writing retreat for part of next week. This is a more popular book than I’ve written before so it will have to be be shorter and catchier. I’ve got some learning to do.</p>
<p>I’d love to say that we’ll travel more when the nest is fully empty, but I travel a lot as it is. What may differ is that my wife can join me sometimes when I head to nice places if she has time in her schedule.</p>
<p>Wow. Like many I am so glad I found this thread. Haven’t been on CC in awhile and not on the Parents Forum in longer. I can relate to so many of your comments. Unlike most of you, I am not happily married and unfortunately do not look forward to more spouse time nor do I want it. I am thrilled for D #2 heading to an exciting city and wonderful school, and D#1 is also very happy in her chosen college, just finished her 2nd year. I have a list of things I want to do (and funny enough, they were both just a little put out that I actually had plans for things to do once they were gone!!!) I think D#2 may have some adjustment and homesickness issues whereas #1 didn’t at all…so that may occupy some time and put a few plans on hold, we’ll see. I love them dearly and am thrilled at their accomplishments and the intelligent young women they have become, and eagerly look forward to what they will move on to do with their lives. Finances are indeed an issue and its tight for a variety of reasons. The big piece is deciding on how I will be happiest without hurting them, but I think we all deserve to be happy and I know that although parts of my life make me happy (them) big pieces of it do not. I recently described myself as a “married single parent” as that is what it has been. So…courses, classes, a ballet class I have always wanted to do…continue to go to theaters, shows, museums…the cheaper the better. </p>
<p>By the way, for those looking into cheaper travel try hotwire or priceline. Not perfect but I have used them and gotten great deals at much fancier places than I would stay…like just this week I paid $50 a night for a nearly $200 a night hotel while taking D to college orientation. I didn’t spend much time there but when I did, it was VERY nice!</p>
<p>I guess we all should be grateful when are nests are empty and our little hatchlings are totally on their own, in a self-supporting way. My sister married for the first time at 18, but has returned to our parents’ nest again and again and again, each time with different “issues.”</p>
<p>Thanks for posting, khsstiches. I imagine that there are many of us for whom the last child leaving means the possibility of other changes. I like your approach of focusing on what makes you happy.</p>