<p>When my MIL was clearly a bit baffled (and, I felt, underimpressed) by D's choice, I emailed her the USNWR ranking list. :)</p>
<p>I agree with EllenF. A simple "yes" is fine.</p>
<p>I read somewhere about a young man who was attending Vassar and was on the track team (I don't remember if I read this on CC). Anyway, frequently when he would run track against other schools, opponents would always ask, "Vassar. Isn't that a girls school?" Initially he had verious explanations about how they are now admitting men. Finally, he found the best answer was a confident, "Yes."</p>
<p>There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of about going to a small school. My kids have very strong academic credentials, but I am forced to have them apply to schools that have a lot of merit aid (which is not always the smallest schools). I wish I could afford to send them to Swarthmore or some other LAC, but due to financial situation and wanting to help them with grad school it is impossible. If you want your daughter to be happy about attending a LAC, then you need to get used to not being embarrassed about it. Your daughter may inadvertently overhear you mumbling some type of other response, and there is no reason to feel bad about not attending a large school.</p>
<p>I hate to be a sexist (and I do not even know if fireflyscout is a woman), but I have observed (through my wife's encounters with her friends) that women tend to be more "catty". A man would typically be more direct, but a woman is more likely to INSINUATE that she or her child is somehow superior, appearing to hope for a response. If you really want to WIN, then simply, honestly, and confidently tell her that your daughter is very excited about her possibilities. If she is genuinely nice, then this is the perfect response, and she will be happy for you. IF she is the type who is trying to one-up you, then when she sees that you are truly HAPPIER than she is about where your child is considering college, that would also be effective at squashing her overinflated ego.</p>
<p>I had a good chuckle when I read your original post, Firefly. I have been running into the same thing, especially here in the land of the University of California where going to an LAC is somehow suspect. Even my daughter's guidance counselor hasn't heard of two of the colleges on her list. :) My daughter has gotten a triple whammy with Earlham in particular --- when she gets the blank stare she says "It's a quaker liberal arts college in Indiana" She then gets questions such as (1) what's a quaker? (2) so you're going to "art school?" and (3) sorry fredo, but one of her friends actually said this "Why would you want to go to school in the south?"</p>
<p>Kathiep and Originaloog, Just read your suggested replies and they are both PERFECT. I will use that from now on, and tell my daughter to as well.</p>
<p>On a tangent, I notice that when I mention where I'm going to college (most recently, UCSC), my relatives try their hardest to justify this. </p>
<p>"Oh, did you know Outside magazine ranked it #1 for most beautiful?"
"I heard they have a very good astrophysics program." (I study literature.)
"They have a good football team!" (Except they don't have one. I write this off as my SD relatives thinking UC=Cal, no matter what letters come after the U and the C. It's actually shockingly amazing they know what Cal is.)</p>
<p>No one bothers to admit their ignorance about the school; they try and show me just how much more they know about it than I do, and make themselves feel better about my choice.</p>
<p>Lemme tell you, it's quite amusing now that they know I'm going to a community college back home. </p>
<p>More to the topic, however, I admit I'm one of the sadistic people that likes to toy with the individuals whose response to where someone's going to college is the blank look. "I'm really shocked you've never heard of X, it's a great school in <field of="" study="" said="" person="" is="" in="" -="" my="" experience,="" people="" stop="" caring="" about="" the="" "top="" schools="" their="" field"="" unless="" they're="" hiring="" managers="" or="" brochure="" writers="">," to be mean, or something similar to dmd77's answer. The most dignified is Originaloog's, but when it comes up as a matter of pride (which it ALWAYS is when it's a blank look or a snide "Oh, I see" if the answer isn't Harvard/Yale/etc.) who cares about dignity? ;) (I'm 19, I'm allowed to be tactless. :P)</field></p>
<p>
[quote]
my inlaws think we are crazy for sending D to college period. the only other grandchild... attended a tech program at a community college. according to relatives- there isn't any reason for any other course of action beyond pretentiousness
[/quote]
EK, you must be related to my gS' other relatives. Their response when their DIL went for her (gasp!) master's degree: "Well, just who does she think SHE is?"</p>
<p>Speak of the Devil, just yesterday I was talking to someone about Sports at my school, re: the Ivy League, and I got: "Penn's in the Ivy League? Huh... why Philadelphia and not the State College campus?"</p>
<p><em>headdesk</em></p>
<p>UnD: Go Banana Slugs! {:):):):)<:</p>
<p>In 1977, when I announced to my relatives in Nevada that I was transferring to UC Berkeley, the response I got most often was, "Don't they have a lot of riots, there?" To which I would respond, "Yes, I love riots, and never pass up an opportunity to be tear-gassed. Please send me money so that I can get out of jail." :)</p>
<p>New neighbor down the street mentioned that he went to school at Rose-Hulman. I said, "Oh, that little school in the midwest where you can get a great engineering education?" He was shocked that I knew about it (I guess he does a lot of explaining to everyone about his college. I'm the only non-engineering Californian that he knows who knew about Rose-Hulman). Score one for CC!</p>
<p>Every single conversation about my daughter's school is identical: she goes to DePauw. Oh, is that DePauw with a W or DePaul with an L? So the new answer when someone asks where she goes to school is: DePauwwithaWinGreencastleIndiana. (Extra points for saying it without taking a breath).</p>
<p>And Carolyn, I'm expecting you to single handedly raise the profile of Earlham (and Indiana!) in California, LOL! Although, to be honest, there are parts of Indiana that are pretty good ole' boy southern.</p>
<p>I remember, when my daughter got into Brown, and my husband proudly told this to his medical assistants, they responded with "oh, is that a good school?"</p>
<p>We get this all the time - TX only knows Ivies and state schools. Amherst? Where is that? In Amherst, MA. Oh, that's so far! (Apparently, no one should ever want to leave TX) We've even had a few who ask is that a good (small) school and my D answers, if it was good enough for Prince Albert of Monaco, then it's good enough for me! LOL But the few who do know have been cute. One was, "Oh, my God! How did you get in?" (sal and state winner-but all they know is it's hard to be accepted) Then, there was the lady who raised her hands over her head and salaamed her three times. Then, she told her she was int he presence of greatness. </p>
<p>As for pronunciation at awards and graduation, the APs that announce the names call in all the kids and phonetically write the sounds next to their names, so every name is pronounced properly. They even make sure the stress is on the right syllable. All the schools in our district do this. </p>
<p>As to price of the top LAC's, we are paying less than sending my D to the local state college. FA makes it possible for us. We also worry about grad school costs, but so far, no loans.</p>
<p>You think it's bad when it's a liberal arts college? Try it when it's a women's liberal arts college (Wellesley, in this case). On top of all the usual "isn't that pretty small?" there's the neverending "but isn't that a girls' school?" and "but why would you go to a school without men?".</p>
<p>I still haven't really come up with a good, quick response to that...the story behind my college choice and the reasons I'm going there could fill a short book.</p>
<p>People keep talking about Principals mispronouncing names... anyone else get called the wrong class? Multiple times?</p>
<p>(Class of '02)... we got called Class of 2000 three times, and the last time she stopped to correct herself by saying: "I mean, Class of '03"</p>
<p>firefly...we can sympathize. Down here in the land of A & M and UT nobody has heard of anything else. One gentleman asked my oldest where he was going to school and my son told him "Bucknell." The man then said "well maybe if you keep your grades up you can transfer to A & M." The local newspaper didn't even run a box score when Bucknell beat Kansas in the NCAA. </p>
<p>Now with the second headed to Carleton we've just given up explaining. We thought maybe t-shirts with a pinpoint where the school was located, but then again most Texans are geographically challenged once they leave the state borders. We've reverted back to the standard answer of "not in Texas, not touching Texas" when asked where the kids are going to school.</p>
<p>Elizabeth:</p>
<p>T-shirts were made for this kind of situation. Wellesley--for women who like to be in top positions.</p>
<p>Rant: </p>
<p>In my suburb, the majority of the residents have moved here from other states (not very many native Texans). Yet because of in-state tuition they will only allow their children to apply to UT, A&M, etc. I understand financial constraints, but these same people are buying themselves (and their kids) expensive sports cars, putting in swimming pools, buying a more expensive house, etc. Yet they are looking for the cheapest college education available for their children. They also have no idea that, depending on their child's stats, they could send their child to Southwestern, Austin College, or Trinity for the same as or less than the cost of an in-state public. </p>
<p>So I think when I get the next blank look, I'll just say "We want to provide our children with the finest college education we can afford."</p>
<p>yep, yep, yep....it's the same here. In fact, one of my son's friends got an SUV as a grad gift because they chose UT over UVa. It probably is about the same as tuition saved in their case. (By comparison we gave our son an inexpensive acoustic guitar as his grad gift, so he could have one at school and not need to bring it back and forth on the airplane.)</p>
<p>My kids are going to private school for less than it would cost them to attend most of the TX publics, but there are a few like SFA which would have been less. We've tried to lead by example, and put the information out there...but it falls on deaf ears.</p>
<p>When I talk about where I'm going (Reed) everyone just asks why I didn't apply to UWash.</p>
<p>"You would have gotten in." They all say, wide-eyed. In fact, I took soo soo sooooo much flack for not even applying there. o.O</p>
<p>We Texans seem to have the market covered on provincialism when it comes to college choices. Maybe the Cali's can give us a run but I don't see any other challengers. It's the same around here.</p>
<p>I'm a one man band at our school but I have at least a couple of families thinking. That's a start.</p>