<p>The thread on whether kids work too hard in HS reminded me of an article in the NYT magazine a few years ago. It looked at undergrads at Princeton and described how overscheduled they are, as they try to jam as much as they can into every hour of the day. </p>
<p>Often we hear that once they get into college, it gets easier. But I wonder how true that really is. Seems the engineering kids work really hard. And the pre-meds. Surely many others. Are the kids who seem driven in HS still as driven in college? More driven? Or do things truly get easier, if for no other reason than they are taking classes of their choosing to a greater degree than they can in HS? And they don't have to deal any more with some of the petty stuff of high school (tardies, nightly HW, busy work assignments, commuting from home to school and ECs....)</p>
<p>At one point, my S was talking about Wharton. I was not enthusiastic, because I associated Wharton with driven, over-achieving kids who would just replicate that experience in college, as they tried to be the best prepared to snag that high powered career they sought....</p>
<p>Do they ever get off the treadmill? My S opted to do just that, after spending 4 years at a very competitive high school. He wants a more balanced life, and that factored into his college list. I think he'll find it, but how many kids do?</p>
<p>Don't worry, we'll find the right balance of work and play.</p>
<p>I was surprised when I went to Caltech's Prefrosh Weekend. The people there are brilliant, of course, but they're surprising, too. I've never been beaten so badly at video games before...</p>
<p>I think that the student chooses when to get off the treadmill. </p>
<p>During high school, if you want to get into the highly selective colleges, you had to work really hard. If you wanted to get into the local State U, you didn't have to work so hard. </p>
<p>Once at college, if you want to get into highly selective grad schools, med schools and law schools, you'll have to continue the hard work. If going to top post-graduate schools isn't your goal, then you don't have to work so hard.</p>
<p>I don't necessarily equate working hard with being on the treadmill. My D worked very hard in high school. I always wanted to complain about how late she was up doing homework, but she insisted that it was her choice. She wasn't doing it to get into a selective college; she liked working hard academically. When it came time to choosing colleges, she wanted one that certainly wasn't going to promote easing up on how hard she worked. I suggested, more than once, that she consider going to a college where she would be able to ease up a bit on the academic workload, but she insisted that she wanted to work hard in college too. Yes, she wants to go to graduate school, but she doesn't tie in the concept of working hard in the present to a goal in the future. So, yes, she's choosing the path she is going to tread, but not for its future rewards.</p>
<p>I think that the unforgiving structure of high school life almost guarantees that a reasonably ambitious kid will work too hard: up at 6 AM to get a 6:45 bus, being a virtual prisoner in the same building from 7:30-3:00 with every second accounted for, taking state-mandated courses like health (as my d is now experiencing it, this is one pointless class) and gym. Some schools excuse athletes and dancers from gym, but ours does not.</p>
<p>After 2 or 3 or 4 hours of the kid's chosen ECs, it's home for 3 or 4 or 5 hours of homework. On a good night, they're in bed before midnight - then they get up and do it all over again. Hell isn't other people, it's high school.</p>
<p>College certainly isn't easier, especially if admission to a top graduate school is on the horizon. But it does offer a respite from the lockstep imposed in high school. You can try to schedule classes for only 3 days a week, or for later than 9 AM; you can roll out of bed 15 minutes before class, instead of 90; you can even skip class and get the notes from the teacher's website or a friend if you have a paper due for another class tomorrow. In short, you have the blessed freedom to manage your own time as you see fit, which somehow has the effect of creating more of it.</p>
<p>My son worked hard in high school in subjects he did not like particularly. His high school academic experience according to him wasn't particularly pleasant because he had to "put up" with taking courses he did not like. His efforts got him into a selective college.</p>
<p>After going to Swarthmore, he still works hard. But it is a labor of love. He is internally motivated to do well. As someone said, you choose the path you tread. He doesn't know yet if he's going to Law school or grad school. He does love all his subjects that he has chosen himself and is motivated to do more than required to learn it.</p>
<p>My kid's working much harder than he worked in high school. He's also playing much harder. I think what he's doing a lot less of is sleeping.</p>
<p>Kids have their internal drive and I, personally, believe much of it is in-born. This was the kid who, before he could crawl let alone walk, rolled himself across the living room floor to try to turn a knob on the fire place and see what happened. He still wants to learn everything about everything, while also keeping up the extra curriculars that bring joy to his life. These are kids who were chosen, in many cases, for their true devotion to their extra curriculars. But, once in college, when the course demands are so much greater, students take a while to figure out how to find the extra hours in the day -- therefore, they just shorten up the night.</p>
<p>Yes some will work just as hard in college.. or harder. And agree with sac about shortening up the night. I get very concerned when it seems those nights are getting so short there isn't any sleep going on at all! Also agree with the importance of the ec's in college.</p>
<p>So has any other parent set a limit on number of college classes per term? We do "allow" unlimited audits.</p>
<p>i work just as hard as i did in high school, probably even harder because to get a 4 in a class, i have to have above a 95 instead of above a 93... plus in high school my gpa was the lowest freshman year, and i didn't want a repeat of that... i am generally up until 2am and wake up for a 9:45 class, but that's my choice and also because i am involved with a bunch of great organizations on campus - plenty of people here just relax all the time, but they don't mind getting mostly C's and i do</p>
<p>I have a D, now in grad school, who did the "work hard" thing all the way through high school, college and now as a first year grad student. I think she doesn't want to slow down, even when it risks her health (she has an autoimmune disease) . . .I think she likes to work and stay involved in the extra-curriculars because they are so incredibly satisfying to her. S, who is a HS senior, will have the option to go pass/fail whenever he wants at Brown, but I would guess he will rarely go that route. </p>
<p>Did this drivenness come from ME?? I hope not, but I think maybe it did. The only reason I am slowing down is I am getting like an old car whose gears won't shift as fast!</p>
<p>I think it's the time management piece that is the crux of it - that and that they hopefully are taking classes that truly interest them. They work hard, but it is different...</p>
<p>My S believes college will be easier, for all the reasons frazzled gives, because he attends a very demanding private school and the kids tend to arrive very well prepared, and because of what he saw during his 5 day visit in Feb. at the school he will be attending. He just picked up Making the Most of College by Richard J. Light and he told me that what he's read so far also makes him think that college courses may be challenging but the whole package will be easier and more enjoyable than the last four years. He's ready. So am I.</p>