Hey all,
I’m really excited to start my time in college. However, I also have really bad social anxiety and I’d like to change that and become more social in college. Does anyone have any advice?
Find a psychotherapist who provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy who has experience working with people with social anxiety if there is one in your area before you head off to college.
Just going to a social event can be terrible. Start slow and sit where you can watch the event until you are more comfortable about being present. If someone says hi to you say high back, I someone asks if they could sit with you say yes. You could have found another anxious student. Use the setting to watch together, point out events and react with the other. You may even start talking and end up knowing someone. You are not making a lifetime commitment but will at least know someone to talk to and may even be friends. What you are doing is becoming more comfortable at a gathering and relaxing enough to seem involved and sociable. Please understand you probably won’t be really comfortable, but you will learn where you can be comfortable and stay, even talk. It may be easier to enter a conversation that you have a comment. What’s in your head swampy can come out of your mouth. You may find some things just aren’t you so don’t go!
The hardest thing can be deliberately speaking to someone who didn’t approach you first. Find your person by observation. Chose someone or several who seem safe, but socially engaged. Say hello, comment on something going on close and, if you get a friendly response, then reply and introduce yourself.
This is how I dealt with social anxiety and it often worked. I was nice, fun, funny, etc., but hid my light under a bushel. I do not interact comfortably in groups, but no longer vomit. Gointood luck.
Medication helps some people.
You can also buy workbooks that allow you to go through the CBT on your own.
Google the Shyness and Social Anxiety workbook for teens.
I’ve been there too during my freshman and some of my sophomore year. The real solution to this problem is to just find people that are like you. You would first find people who have similar interests as you and then continue talking to those who seem to click with you. Joining clubs. looking for study buddies, or even working are great ways to find these people that you mesh well with. It takes time and courage to become more sociable, but you’re truly the person who has to (and can!) become that type of person.
I’m dealing with the same issue. This is my first year in college, and I’ve always had social anxiety but it has gradually gotten so much worse because I haven’t had any kind of treatment to get over it. However, my school offers free health care at the on campus University Clinic. I did pay a $65 medical fee included in tuition, so I am very relieved that they have mental health care as well. I have been assigned a personal counselor to help me overcome my social anxiety, agoraphobia, etc. in order to be more involved in activities in college. Hopefully your school has the same resources! Also, it’s important to remember that to overcome social anxiety, don’t ever force yourself to go to a social event, party, activity, etc that you know you will feel uncomfortable attending. Don’t do that to yourself. That’s an easy way to make your issue worse. It can cause panic, which no one wants. I suggest getting an experienced counselor to talk your issue with, come up with coping methods together, and develop a plan to overcome social anxiety. Good luck!