social class and college

<p>I thought it was a dream when I got in! </p>

<p>But the bad thing about getting into a selective college is ... everyone is on a totally different social plane than you. I mingle fine and do small talk fine and have lots of shallow friendships... but I have trouble finding people I really "click" with. Of course there's people you party with and play soccer with and all that, but I don't get any OMG-fill-in-the-other-person's-sentence moments. I don't have any great experiences vacationing in Dubai, and people seem to want to eat out every other night. There are people from my home country, which I thought was great, until you realize they are so different from your old friends...</p>

<p>At the same time I kind of feel like I'm drifting away from my high school friends, just by virtue of our paths diverging... most of my friends stayed in-state or went to a neighbouring state, and they visit each other very often. I'm like almost a thousand miles away. =(</p>

<p>I remember reading “Prep” in high school and there was this line about how you rarely actually see cash on campus, but you see money in a girl’s perfectly straightened blond hair or something. Anyway, not everyone in college is rolling in $$$ and it’s probably just the set of people you’re hanging out with. </p>

<p>It’s hard to find in adult life people that you’re just absolute BFFs with. I feel like adults mostly have friends who are people that they text on a Friday to ask if they’re going out. They’re not like childhood friends whom you’re attached at the hip to. It’s kind of sad but just reality.</p>

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<p>I think “wealth” applies to about 90% of the people here.</p>

<p>Ok, I understand how coming from an actually poor background makes it hard to fit in socially at a private uni. While there are only maybe a handful of billionaire scions on campus, most of the people do come from upper-middle class backgrounds (kids of doctors, lawyers from affluent suburbs). These kids spend their (parent’s) money pretty freely but most people are not ~rich~. Most people I know don’t talk about where they summer, but they think nothing of blowing money on eating out and cab fare.</p>

<p>Here’s an idea - get a job.</p>

<p>And stop filtering what you think and what you say. You fear that these “richer” kids will not understand you or judge you harshly, but hey -just believe what you will without apology, and you will find more friends than just acting how you think people want you to. You come off as a more superficial person yourself that way to others.</p>

<p>Well, I have 3000 dollars in the bank. I currently have 2 jobs and 2 volunteer positions. Since I actually earn my money I think I appreciate it more than some of these kids do…</p>

<p>What school?</p>

<p>“upper-middle class backgrounds (kids of doctors, lawyers from affluent suburbs)”</p>

<p>Where are you from? Most kids of doctors and lawyers are upper class.</p>

<p>The average doctor in a non primary care easily earns 200k-300k. American upper class is at 250k above. Upper middle class people are generally people with professional degrees (masters, Ph.D’s, non finance MBA’s, entrepreneurs).</p>

<p>i come from a lower income background and go to a ridiclously rich preppy private school that’s giving me close to full tuition in grants, thanks to the other rich kids subsidizing my educational and party expenses. i have friends who come from single parent households and friends whose parents take home 7-8 digit figure commisions from wall street.</p>

<p>we get along pretty well and i poke fun at the rich kids a lot when they complain about cafeteria food because they’re used to $100 meals.</p>

<p>it also seems that i’m a lot happier than a lot of my wealthy friends because they’re used to a lifestyle of luxury and are downgrading at college, while everything for me was a huge upgrade. god damn it feels good to be (relatively) poor and be able to wake up in the morning feeling like p-diddy.</p>

<p>^hhaha nice ke$ha reference :P</p>

<p>I’m really curious as to what college this is.</p>

<p>Would you pm it to me if you don’t feel comfortable posting it? (either OP or stevenxu)</p>

<p>Most people experience this. It’s hard for anyone to find people he clicks with. Keep putting in the effort, meet new people, and don’t give up!</p>

<p>Stanford is almost 17% low-income (which actually means low AND middle-income, since people at top colleges are almost exclusively upper-income even to this day). It’s one of the reasons I chose it.</p>