WPI is 2/3 male. When I asked our tour guide about the male/female dynamics, the guide didn’t answer. The one dorm room we visited was a triple. The two male students in the room were oblivious to us while they were playing a video game.
As much as we were impressed by the campus/academic/job aspects of WPI, we are concerned that with so few girls at the school, our quiet son would be a video-gaming mushroom there.
We also visited Clark. It’s 60% female. The thing that worried us about Clark was the tour guide making such a big deal about the symbolism of the school keeping the campus front gates open. It made us wonder, “should we be worried about the front gates being left open?” The surrounding neighborhood looked a bit rough.
Everyone has their own soft priorities. For our S, male/female balance is a priority. If a school is lacking it, then he prefers a school with more girls.
@ReluctantYankee I’ve spent time at WPI. I love the vibe there… easygoing but smart kids. And yes, some groups on campus embrace nerdy fun. Could you revisit and maybe look into the math department in depth? Could he do it on his own? Carnegie Mellon is wonderful and hard to get into. I agree with above posters – if the school is big enough, he’ll find what he needs. Some small schools are tricky socially. He will find his way. Good luck.
I think the small schools on your list are going to have a certain feel, and if you aren’t that kind of person, it may be difficult. While the rich students at Bates may think they are very accepting of all other students, the poorer students may not feel as accepted. If everyone is spending $25 on dinner every Saturday night, it’s difficult to feel included when you can’t.
About the male/female ratio…my daughter is at a school that is 25% female/75% male. All the girls have boyfriends, and many of the guy are still looking. It really can be an issue.
My S recieved $40k a year in grant from Bates. He also bought his own books and earned his own spending money from working summers, breaks and from campus job. We aren’t poor (income in the $120k) but not rich either. My son did have some friends from extremely wealthy families but those kids were just like every other college kid.
There are very few really nice restaurants in town and the kids only go to them when their parents visit. They’re not running out to restaurants to eat much anyway as everyone has same, unlimited dining plan and the food is great. There are not a lot of places in L/A to spend money unless you really like Walmart and Good Will.
Social life on weekend nights consists of parties at the theme houses. Everyone lives on campus in the dorms or houses all 4 years (except the few who rent with 10 other kids a house Senior year.)
The kids at Bates are very friendly, happy kids. Cliques are pretty much non existent. Everyone is friends with everyone regardless of what they are into/where they come from, etc. The one thing they all have in common is that they work hard - because if you don’t you won’t last at Bates.
I would live to hear the OP’s son’s feedback on WPI and why he didn’t like it. Also, remember, sometimes it’s just a gut feeling.
My kid hated University of Richmond. She really couldn’t tell us why…but she didn’t like it almost from the minute we drove in. That was fine enough for us. With so many colleges, if a kid says they don’t like it, look elsewhere.
Perhaps the OP can get her kid to make a list of what is important in a college…to him. Size, location, majors, whatever.
I agree that RPI might be worth a look. My S is also not very outgoing and just started at Northeastern. He is doing very well and I think they have done a great job of making it easy for kids like him to socialize and find friends. We did a ton of college visits and I totally agree that the tours and info sessions all start to sound the same so we found it most helpful to just hang out - eat in the dining hall if you can and observe the students, hang out in the student center or in a local coffee shop - you’d be surprised at how much insight these types of “fly on the wall” experiences can provide as you listen to the kids around you! My S was a little torn between Villanova and Northeastern and in the end, felt more comfortable with the kids he observed on campus at Northeastern, they were more his crowd. I think you’re doing the right thing by helping to give him options, it definitely took time with my S to really start to be vocal about what he wanted and what he thought.
Totally agree. Take time to walk around each campus, sit on the dining hall, or outside. We actually had students come up to us, and chat.
DD made her final choice based on the observations during her accepted student visits. She said she found more of her people where she chose to enroll.
Another vote for Looking at RPI.
It’s also only about 1/3 female, but my son had no trouble finding friends of both sexes, and pursued many interests there. he was not very social at all in HS, but made many friends at RPI.
Thanks very much to everyone who has replied. 2 of you even took the trouble to email me - I appreciate it, though have no idea how to answer them. I’m not computer-savvy at all! But thanks! I’m glad to get more inside info!
I’ll add that my husband went to Bowdoin, quite a long time ago now. He was extremely happy there - I’ve always been a little jealous. But, that doesn’t mean my son would be happy there though. It also doesn’t mean my son will get in there, either - they’re extremely selective and it’s all a crap shoot.
We live in MA so we have been able to visit some places more than others.
My son is very, very tight lipped about any opinions he has. We’re not sure why - not wanting to get his/our hopes up on a certain place? Honestly doesn’t know what to think? (running out of time). Secretly doesn’t want to think about leaving home yet, but won’t admit it? Who knows. I can’t imagine visiting a huge school like Northeastern and a small school like Bowdoin and not having a pretty big preference once way or the other, though.
I’m trying not to influence his decision. Honestly, if I were choosing for myself at his age, I’d like Bowdoin’s size and town. But if he chooses some place closer to where we live in MA, that would be fantastic. I just want him to be happy. We’re paying a LOT of money for my daughter to be unhappy at Smith currently.
My daughters two final top choices…after accepted student visits…were Santa Vlara with an undergrad population of about 5000, and University of South Carolina with an undergrad of about 25,000. Plus the schools are way different in terms of campus culture, I think. But she liked them both a lot…and her choice was a tough one.
She chose Santa Clara because she said it was a more friendly campus. But even she said…South Carolina would have been fine too.
I add another vote for looking at Case Western. My son was a math major there and I would say the students there are pretty nerdy and socially open. The male/female ratio is more balance than many of the technical schools.
“My son is very, very tight lipped about any opinions he has. We’re not sure why - not wanting to get his/our hopes up on a certain place? Honestly doesn’t know what to think?”
My son was the same way. He never even told us what his first choice was. It was because he didn’t want to get his hopes up. It wasn’t until he got his last acceptance and he was over the moon about it that we knew. It had been his top choice all along (well since he visited it and it was a last minute add-on in Oct. of his senior year.) All his other visits has been in the spring and one in the late summer right after classes had started.)
This notion rich students are always out spending their parents’ money baffles me- they’ve got more responsibilities (and interests) than expensive dinners or shopping every weekend. (Especially when we’re talking some highly selective colleges.) Oh, maybe, at some New England colleges, there can be a large contingent interest in weekly skiing. But that’s by no means universal.
My kids were Bates and I agree with Emilybee that it’s a nice community of activated kids, many on generous aid, and many with interests in making a difference. Not all, but a good chunk. There’s some cherished weirdness, for those who want it. But thing is, my take on most of the colleges first named is that kids who are self directed are going to fare better, find their niche friends. Can he be that?
Surprised at the reaction to Clark. We were impressed by the alertness there, we have a friend long-time teaching chem, who is happy with the quality of his students and what he can accomplish with them. What did he like about the colleges you named?
I’d take a harder look at UMass Amherst, in part because of the consortium, the great variety of kids among the 5 schools, including Hampshire, the fact you can escape to smaller classes. Everyone I know who went there says first, “It’s so big.” But they all enjoyed it, found ways to make the experience work.
Bates does overnight visits - not sure which others do that (although there’s nothing stopping him from visiting a friend who’s there if they don’t ). DS found that he got a better feel from that kind of visit than the “tour/info session/interview / dining hall with parent in tow”. Some places quickly shout “not for me!”, but for many easy-going kids, many places will seem just fine. (I have that kid, btw.) And in fact, they may be. You may end up making a decision among schools where he’s been accepted in April if nothing is calling out as an ED. Good luck!
We got taken around WPI by a very outgoing and enthusiastic young woman who was very involved in theater there - so our impression was quite different! RPI actually seemed nerdier to me, but also very friendly. We have a friend whose two kids both went to RPI. The boy did engineering, but the girl did bio and had a lot of good experiences beyond the classroom ones.
I also was going to suggest an overnight. That was what sealed the deal for my S when it came down to decision time. My D, however, wanted nothing to do with an overnight. The thought of staying with students she didn’t know was too anxiety producing. Every kid is different.
PS FWIW- and I could be totally wrong-- but my take on his “lots of rich students” comment was more about it linking someone to important connections later in life… like for jobs or social connections say in the art world (he is an art history major)… as opposed to being around kids spending money- he did say they are very accepting of all socio-economic groups … so I think he meant more for job or social connections later… some people see that as helpful…but of course you also have a career center and the schools reputation etc to help…