Social/Dating Scenes at Duke

Colleges and Universities A-Z Duke University
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<p>1. I know a lot about how frats/sororities work on campus, but how much do they play into the dating and socialscene?</p>

<p>2. Would you current students say that a lot of people get into long term relationships? I know that hookups are the norm for freshman year, at least, at any college. But I'm from Southern Cali where hookups and friends with benefits relationships override the long-term relationship scene by a ratio of 2482398472347234 to 1, and I'm SO ready to leave that behind in highschool. I am hoping culture in the South is a lot different.</p>

<p>3. Do students at Duke or in the South generally mind or accept dating people of other cultures or religions? For example, is it unheard of that a Catholic or Christian would get into a long term relationship with a Jew?</p>

<p>4. What do you do for fun, off or on campus? Where do you party, and how much does drinking come into play in the social scene? Are there a lot of social events sponsored by the campus or frats, than just party hopping?</p>

<p>I hope none of these questions come off as offensive. I am from SoCal like I said, but I spent all of last summer at another college in the South and absolutely love it. It's an entirely different lifestyle, and one that I'm really looking forward to. Thanks!</p>

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<p>Hi lollerskates,</p>

<p>Not offensive at all! Duke has a work hard, play hard philosophy - so it's understandable that you want to know what "playing hard" entails here.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>It really depends on the person. If you're involved in a sorority, you are going to be meeting other greeks of the opposite sex through mixers, being set up by your sisters, etc. That's probably why a lot of greeks happen to date other greeks more than non-greeks. There are definitely exceptions to that rule - I'm unafiliated, but my current girlfriend is in a sorority - most of my friends are in frats though, and I actually met her through her sorority sister who is dating a friend of mine who is in a frat. I've also noticed that the more "well-known" or "exclusive" your frat/sorority is, the more likely you are to only date other greeks. I know it's shallow to "rank" sororities and fraternities based on their popularity, but such ranking is done in the minds of greeks whether they admit it or not. There are trends for certain sororities to only date guys from a few fraternities, and vice versa. Of course there are always exceptions . . . maybe a greek who posts here (though I don't think there are many) could help you out with that one. If you're the type of person who would have rushed a greek organization but didn't (like me) you will probably still fit into that social scene well. And if you do join one, you're not limited to just dating greeks, in fact if you find a cool indie (like me! :P) it might actually be seen as "cool" or going against the grain or whatever.</p></li>
<li><p>Hmm . . . again it depends on the person. Some people claim that long term relationships don't happen here, but if you are looking for a long-term relationship, you will probably be able to find one. Hook-ups are definitely the norm among greeks, as well as many non-greeks. There are probably some people out there (maybe in Pratt? :P) who don't get into the hook-up culture. Despite the hook-up culture thing, long-term relationships do happen. I have been in two real long-term relationships here. I'd say that about half the people I am good friends with have had at least one long-term (maybe a year by definition?) relationship while at Duke. If you're the type of girl who really wants one, you are probably more likely to click with the type of guy who wants one. If you just want a hookup, you will probably be on the lookout for guys you think would feel the same way. Communication is the key to figuring out where each person stands on where the relationship might potentially go. </p></li>
<li><p>Duke isn't really that Southern - The majority of students come from the Northeast or the West Coast. Definitely not uncommon for students of different religious faiths to get into relationships. I've definitely heard of Christians dating Jewish people - it seems like a lot of people here who "believe in something" are nonpracticing anyway - I think probably 60% of my friends would describe themselves as Christians in some capacity, but none of us ever really go to church. I've also known people who were in interracial relationships here (and I've been in one).</p></li>
<li><p>Hmmm... what do we do for fun...... drink? It's college! Before I was 21 and could go to bars, I guess I drank at frat parties, sorority functions that I was invited to, K-ville, tailgate. There are also a couple of decent clubs - those get old though. Pretty much the day you turn 21 you stop doing all that stuff (and sometimes earlier). Once you can get into bars like Charlie's, the James Joyce, Sati's, etc. . . frat parties start to look a lot less appealing. At bars you get to hang out with the other seniors and juniors if you turn 21 jr. year.</p></li>
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<p>Frats and selective houses (kind of like co-ed frats) have parties on weekends. There is always a party to go to on campus on the weekend. Duke is pretty good about sponsoring social events as well. Aside from the obvious like K-ville and tailgate, there are other events, too. - on Friday we had the Old Duke party, they had kegs on the quad (though you have to be 21 when it's a keg cause there are University bartenders) with bands and stuff - I didn't go this year but it was cool in previous years - usually university-sponsored parties are seen as pregames for the real parties though.</p>

<p>As far as non-drinking activities, I don't know, sometimes you can just hang out and watch tv or a movie, or go to a movie/concert/play that is showing on campus. Having a car is key because there are often fun things to do (if you look) off campus. There are great concerts at Cat's Cradle in Chapel Hill, for example, and they have some cool outdoor venues in Cary and Raleigh.</p>

<p>So yeah, if you have any more specific questions feel free to PM me. I'm pretty familiar with the greek and drinking scene, but I know what it's like from an independent perspective too.</p>

<p>Alex</p>

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<ol>
<li><p>I'm in a sorority and I'm dating a guy in a fraternity-- these two things are not related at all. As people have said, people tend to mix more and get set up more in Greek events-- I know a long term couples who have resulted from this. Granted, these were people who joined their respective Greek organizations to find a serious significant other. Greeks date other Greeks, non-Greeks, they remain single, whatever. I don't know how much being Greek influences how you date people, but it, for some people, makes meeting members of the opposite sex a lot easier.</p></li>
<li><p>It's college-- hookups are prevalent. That being said, a very good percentage of my friends are in longterm relationships. My friends at other schools think that it's bizarre. It could be my circle of friends that's like that, but I don't know. Whatever you're looking for-- random hookups, casual dating, serious relationships-- you'll find it.</p></li>
<li><p>I'm a Catholic and I'm dating a Jew. Granted, we're not the Church/Temple going types, but whatever. Duke isn't tremendously southern and people are up to dating someone of another culture.</p></li>
<li><p>There's bars, clubs, tailgates (well hopefully), parties on campus, etc... lots of different social outlets. When I was a freshman, I went to the 'clubs' like Shooters and Parizades (RIP) all the time... now I tend to go hang out with fraternities more often... and when I turn 21 I know it'll be the bar scene.</p></li>
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<p>I second the RIP Parizade's. :(</p>