<p>So I'm a high school senior and am contemplating my college decision. My top 3 are dead even: Notre Dame, Boston College (honors program in Carroll School of Management), and Georgetown SFS.
I consider myself a normal, outgoing, athletic sports loving guy, not particularly religious although applying to all catholic schools. I have recently visited ND and have been raised in a nd household, but have been starting to have some doubts, mainly surrounding the social life at ND.
I have recently visited ND, and noticed that there is a somewhat awkward relationship between guys and girls. I stayed overnight and got to appreciate the bonding in the all guy dorms, but also observed that the dining hall is somewhat segregated between guys and girls tables. I've been told there's dorm parties and a pretty good night life. I'm not looking for a raging party school by any means but would like to have a good night life scene, meet/pick up girls, etc.
Unfortunately, I had an awful student host, very involved but socially somewhat awkward, so I have not gotten to appreciate this part of ND first hand. The parietals and all guys dorm worry me somewhat, for I have a mixed set of friends with guys and girls back home ( not the all guys prep school background that many nd students have).
At the open house, I met a great but small group of outgoing, social girls/guys around 10-15 people, I could definitely see myself being friends with, but I'm still worried about the social dynamic at Nd.
I would appreciate any info/advice to this aspect of Notre Dame from current students, alum, etc. Thanks.</p>
<p>why dont you post this in the Notre Dame facebook group. I am sure you would get more responses+ Many other students (myself included) are also wondering about this.</p>
<p>People seem to worry about the girl-guy issue a lot, but honestly, I didn’t think it was a problem when I was at ND. People do sometimes tend to get dinner in single sex groups, but I think that is mostly a function of convenience since you don’t usually plan dinner much in college- just grab whoever is closest and go. And often they are your roommates or others from your dorm.</p>
<p>However, I would say that I ate dinner in mixed groups more often than not and had a good number of both male and female friends. The vast majority of the time when I was hanging out with a group, there were both guys and girls present. Most social activities, classes, study groups, etc will be mixed groups. And there are opportunities to meet people at dorm parties, house parties, football games, club events, concerts, Legends, other bars (once you’re over 21). People do hook up. And a lot of people find serious relationships while at ND (I did). There may be a shortage of casual dating and less serious relationships around, but I think that is true of a lot of colleges. </p>
<p>There will of course be a few awkward people, but those really do exist everywhere. I had an awesome time at ND. There is never a shortage of things to do. You can take this all with a grain of salt since I graduated in 2010, but I’d be happy to answer any specific questions if you’d like!</p>
<p>ND freshman guy here, and I also looked into BC and Georgetown last year. Yes, the weird rules and single-sex dorms can seem pretty old-fashioned and awkward, but they won’t prevent any decently outgoing students from making friends (of both sexes). Really, I actually like the set-up because it makes it so easy to bond with people in your dorm, almost like a mini fraternity/sorority (minus the hazing).<br>
As for your impression from the dining hall, I think it has a lot more to do with convenience than any shyness. If I come back to my dorm and a few guys ask if I want to grab dinner, I’ll just do that. Likewise, if a group of kids from class want to get lunch together after lecture, that’s pretty common too. It really just depends on your routine.<br>
At any rate, these are three dynamite options you’ve got. I’m sure you’ll be happy wherever you are, but I hope you don’t let your less-than-great Spring Vis affect your decision too much. Best of luck, and Go Irish! </p>
<p>@spencerg011 @shellzie2006 So apart from parietals, would you say that the social life at ND is comparable to other schools like BC Gtown Cornell?
Or is there alot less hooking up/partying because of the catholic and conservative nature of the school?</p>
<p>I can’t really speak to the nature of the social life at BC, Georgetown, or Cornell since I haven’t really spent any time there during the school year. I think BC and Georgetown would have more of the social life focused off campus since they are in big cities, whereas most of the social life of ND revolves around ND- a lot is on campus and even when it’s off-campus, you find yourself primarily among ND (and SMC) students. Notre Dame also has a prominent football culture, which Cornell won’t have. And no other school can beat. 
</p>
<p>I can compare it to the University of Minnesota since I have lived near campus (and have had several friends do undergrad here) for the past 4 years. There is definitely more hooking up here at the U of M (though people do frequently “hook up” at ND, that term may be used to mean a lot of different types of interaction with the opposite sex, whereas here, it just means one thing…) and more of the activities revolve around the city instead of the campus. The football here is also really depressing after experiencing ND football.</p>
<p>I don’t think the Catholic nature of ND impedes the partying at all. After all, I don’t think Catholicism has ever stopped the Irish from drinking. And the campus is not a dry campus (I think BC and Georgetown are, but you should double check that). There are plenty of dorm parties and house parties to go to. Tailgating before games is awesome. And, once you are 21, South Bend’s limited bar offerings host a series of college nights to keep you entertained any night of the week (surrounded primarily by ND/SMC students as mentioned before, which makes it easier to meet new people and be sure to run into some friends you know). </p>
<p>And a note about parietals- they really aren’t so bad. They are nice for keeping things a bit quieter for studying/sleeping during the week and making sure parties end by a predictable time on weekends. They can be a bit of an inconvenience at times, but you can always go to 24 hour space in the dorm if you want to hang out with someone of the opposite sex after parietals. They don’t prevent people from hooking up (or even spending the night), but I think they do help cut down on the amount of sexiling that occurs.</p>
<p>I’m a freshman male at the University. As many other people have mentioned earlier in this post, the reason Dining halls seem segregated is people are bound to eat with people they live with because it is easy. Coming into Notre Dame I really questioned the single-sex dorm aspect. I won’t lie to you by saying that parietals are not the bane of my existence. They suck. A lot of people hate them. I generally wish the antiquated University administration would get their heads straight and remove parietals, at least on weekends. With that being said, most of the people who hate parietals are easily able to break them without getting caught. That is unless your roommate’s a stiff. Unfortunately, that’s a pretty fair probability here. On the plus side, you get to pick your roommate sophomore year so if you end up with a bad roommate freshman year it’s not the end of the world. Also, unless you get placed in Morissey or Dillon or some ■■■■■■ hall like that, you will definitely stay in your hall sophomore and junior year. The hall system is actually brilliant because you are essentially put in a frat from day one and you don’t have to do any elephant walks (<a href=“Urban Dictionary: elephant walk”>Urban Dictionary: elephant walk) or drink well past the point of fun. Which reminds me, I noticed you didn’t mention whether or not you drink. If you do, let me assure you that you’ll have no trouble having fun on the weekends. Notre Dame has had a number of jokes made at its expense on the twitter account Collegefession, but the most fallacious of these was the tweet “I had a beer once - Notre Dame”. Tailgating before games is a totally unique experience. Pretty good odds that at some point in the next four years you’ll shotgun a beer with your friend’s dad. If you don’t drink, don’t worry. A large proportion of the students at this school, at least the freshmen, are ‘shut-ins’. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve walked past a ‘party’ on a Friday night that involved a decent sized room of guys and girls watching a movie. None of those guys had any hopes of ‘getting it in’, but hey, they’re having fun. And to be honest, the guys who party also don’t have great chances of ‘getting it in’. Most of the girls here are extremely prude by college standards, which is not what you’d expect given how attractive most of them are (not). You’ll certainly find diamonds in the rough. At the very least, pretty much everyone here is ‘fit’ so if you have some fetish for thin, healthy girls who make little to no effort to wear makeup, you’re gonna be very happy here. And in regards to the ‘diamonds in the rough’ somehow I am good friends with most of them despite admittedly not being a Liam Hemsworth look-alike. And no, I do not mean that I am chillin in the friend-zone. If you know how to talk to girls it’s gonna distinguish you from a lot of the guys here and you’ll probably have a pretty comparable social life to that of your friends at big state schools. Only instead of sleeping with girls you’ll enjoy some intense making out paired with a possibility of coppin a feel. From what I understand, that is way better than what BC and Georgetown offer but I haven’t done much research on the social life of either of those two schools.</p>
<p>^ I think this is the greatest post I have ever read on this website.</p>
<p>@NDStedsman2017 solid post, Thanks… I was wondering about the SMC girls, and how that affects the parties/hooking up. Having an all-girls school next door seems like it would make things alot easier for guys to find girls to date/hook up, is that true?
And why do you say that alot of ND guys are awkward? I thought most guys are WASPY/Varsity Athlethe types. Jeez, if most of the guys are awkward and most of the girls are not very attractive, thats really not a great combo.
Also, would you say that most guys go all 4 years without getting further than making out at a party?</p>
<p>Appreciating the love lil homies. @goblue2018 its pretty hard to describe and I might have been a tad overzealous describing both the introverted nature of the guys here and the unattractiveness of the women. But I’ll address your questions in order.
- SMC girls
If I could describe the relationship between the Notre Dame and SMC student bodies in two words, I would say "****** up’. I saved college confidential the hassle of putting those asterisks in and just did it myself. The bus that transports Saint Mary’s girls to Notre Dame (and theoretically would transport Notre Dame student to St Mary’s but I doubt that’s ever happened) is referred to by BOTH the Notre Dame AND Saint Mary’s students as ‘the sluttle’. Notice the distance on the keyboard between the ‘l’ and’h’ keys and recognize that I did not make a typo. This is so screwed up. The girls from Notre Dame largely despise the girls from St. Mary’s because, and I quote, “They didn’t get in to Notre Dame so they don’t deserve the Notre Dame guys. We did, and we do.” As bad as that sounds, most ND guys are worse. ‘Smick chicks’ are revered by ND guys as little more than party filler and sexual rebounds. In actuality, most St. Mary’s girls are pretty indistinguishable from the Notre Dame girls in terms of attractiveness and how smart they come off as. - So now I’ll address the female student body as a whole and the party situation. Girls at Notre Dame are pretty serious about getting careers out of college. Just like the men, they’ll have fun on the weekends but during the week everyone has to study a lot. From what little time I’ve spent visiting ‘party schools’ it seems as though girls there are willing to sacrifice some time out of their day to get dressed up for class, time that Notre Dame girls simply are not. In my limited experience that seems to make a big difference. As a result, there have been a good number of times where I’ve spent an entire lunch at the dining hall and not seen a single girl I wanted to get with. Which is why I’m always amazed that come the weekend we have a ton of hot girls at our parties. I mean seriously, there have also been parties where I’ve looked around and thought ‘I’d be cool with getting with any of these girls’. Again, most Notre Dame girls either are prude by big state school standards or interested in keeping their sex lives totally hush hush because people here judge. There is none of that Collegefession “I blacked out at a party and found out later that I [fornicated with] two girls in the middle of a room of people”. There is however a lot of blacking out at parties. Among the party crowd, people drink a lot. 10+ drinks in one night is common among the guys who party. Also right here I need to reiterate that I’m speaking as a freshman because it seems like a lot of the upperclassmen mellow out and are content with nursing a slight buzz.
- Awkwardness of guys
As far as the whole varsity letter thing goes, keep in mind that there are a lot of varsity sports, some of which include golf, tennis, cross country and even chess in some states. No knock on any of those sports it’s just that you dont expect Mr. Bigshot Football player to have any trouble with talking to women while the next Tiger Woods might not have the same sex life as Tiger Woods. However, I can pretty confidently say that I am anywhere from decent to good friends with at least half the guys in my dorm and know most of the rest pretty well, and like them too. A lot of the guys here would probably be players if they didn’t think it conflicted with their religious beliefs. Even though they’re not looking to hookup they still have plenty of friends who are girls and are awesome guys to hang out with. I cannot stress that enough. Moreso than any other school, you’re gonna graduate with a ton of lifelong friends.
There are a lot more reasons to come to Notre Dame but this post is pretty long as is. There’s just a lot of stuff I wish I knew before I made my college decision. Then again, if I had to redo the admissions process I’d want to end up at Notre Dame, no questions asked. I think College Confidential lets you private message people and if so please do message me if you have any more questions. There’s a lot I’m not saying because I don’t wanna make any perusing parents any madder than I probably already have.</p>
<p>Hi, I’m one of the perusing parents on CC, and I really appreciate your posts! My son is deciding between ND and probably 2 other schools. I was wondering how the parietals and same sex dorms influence the social scene and your postings gave great insight and detail. I have an older daughter at a state school, so I am not at all shocked at drinking, partying, and yes, sex at college campuses- it happens, and my son will have to decide for himself what he will be involved in. Again, thanks for sharing! BTW, my son is a slightly awkward athlete, so I know what you are referring to in that respect!</p>
<p>Good to hear! The same sex dorms actually promote the party scene at Notre Dame. I’m really surprised other colleges have not adopted the system as an alternative to frat life. The sense of community and brotherhood is truly something to be cherished. In regards to parietals it is best to explain how they are ‘enforced’. Hall staff walks around the dorm at 12:15ish on weeknights and 2ish on weekends and jingles their keys while saying “parietals”. Doors are not opened. I think most RAs try to jingle their keys more as a way to not inadvertently hear anything they might have to report. I have two friends who have gotten busted for parietals and both of them got busted for being entirely absent-minded (read: way too drunk). They also only received warnings. Most rectors and hall staff only want to enforce the rules in a manner that allows them to avoid liability. Overall I think the social life at Notre Dame is very healthy. Students mostly like it and parents can be assured that their kids will be both happy and safe. Notre Dame is also pretty isolated from South Bend and most of the partying occurs on campus so there’s never any danger of muggings or the like.</p>
<p>Mix of comments here. Some in response to original question some adding to earlier responses.</p>
<p>Locals please do not take offense. SB is a rust belt town that would be much smaller if not for ND and all of the activity and investment ND brings to the local economy. SB is not Chestnut or DC. At ND, the general social life is centered on campus. the party scene relies on nearby off campus houses where some upperclassmen live. Alcohol is available if you want it but it is not forced on you. Complaining about the social life is just part of the ND experience. Embrace it. If you want greek life, ND is not for you. If you want or need a metropolitan scene with easy access to a lot of diverse noncollege focused activities, then SB is not the place. What you will likely find is that your social group at any of the 3 colleges will be dominated by your college friends and where you party is less important than you you party with.</p>
<p>Between ND and SMC, there are lots of girls here (numbers favor the guys). Remember the numbers can also work against you, a college freshman girl gets a lot more attention from upperclassman guys than a college freshman guy get from the upperclass girls. Some girls are prudes. Some are not. it may take a little work to figure out which is which. Some guys may hope that a high school senior who was too awkward to chat up the ladies will suddenly gets magical powers when he arrives at college. Sorry but nope, you have to learn how to interact.</p>
<p>Too many people complain about parietals. I kinda like it. it gives some piece. I visited friends at state schools with noise, people vomitting at all hours, and lots of roommate exiles seemed like a special misery. If the girl likes you, you can get a kiss at 10pm. if your only hope is a kiss at 3am from some drunk girl you do not know, its probably not worth it and you better hope she does not regret it because he said / she said is not a good situation. </p>
<p>You can build friendships with females but you have to figure out how to have a conversation that does not include fantasy football or call of duty. Blaming parietals is weak.</p>