<p>Hey, I am an International student from India. I got into Purdue university and am waiting for replies from other universities.
Mostly i will be going to Purdue. I have heard that in universities where there is a large popluation of Asian crowd people get usually irritated with them and isolate them. I dont want to hang around with asians. I want to make many friends and have a good time. I thought joining a fraternity will be a good thing to do inorder to make many friends in a short time. But the problem is my mom wants me to room with another indian (her frind's son). </p>
<p>I told her that i wont and she is getting really ****ed, how do I convince her about letting me join a fraternity and when do i rush inorder to join a fraternity ?</p>
<p>K, here's the great thing about America, shiva - your mom won't be here! (I'm assuming you live in India?) That's right, you can join a frat and do whatever the hell you want and momma won't know :) i'm not encouraging you to lie to your mom, your parents are probably footing your tuition and deserve honesty. Tell her that the reason you want to study abroad is for the American college experience and that you don't want to limit yourself to people you already know, you want to make new friends, broaden your horizons, all that stuff. </p>
<p>also, people don't isolate asians...to be blunt, many asians (as well as whites/blacks/browns) form their own little packs. it's more noticable with asians because there's less of us so people notice when a gang of asians form their little pack, but when whites do it it's not as noticeable. this isn't true in every case, obviously - i'm paki-american myself and my friends come in different colors. </p>
<p>why is your mom so against you joining a frat? is it cause of the frat boy stereotype?</p>
<p>Try to convince her that it's a waste of money to go to a foreign country when you're just going to be associating with the same people you grew up with your entire life. It's kind of like going to Disneyland and not going on any of the roller coasters, or going to the pool but not taking a swim. =0</p>
Try to convince her that it's a waste of money to go to a foreign country when you're just going to be associating with the same people you grew up with your entire life.
You should realize that many Indians have a one-track mentality when it comes to college - get good grades, so you can find a good job. I'm Indian who was born in the US, and my parents completely disregard socializing as an important part of college.</p>
<p>@shivamparikh:
While I encourage you to participate in American culture, you should be careful about rushing into things too fast. I take it you have never been over here before, and I can tell you that it is quite different from Indian culture. However, if you really want to join a fraternity, I suggest doing the following:
1. As long as you don't have anything in particular against that person your mom wants you to room with, just room with him, because it will make the transition easier if you don't have to live with someone who grew up in a completely different culture from you. Remember that by no means do you have to associate with your roommate on a regular basis, so that won't hold you back as far as socializing goes.
2. If you feel comfortable with American culture, just rush during the second semester.</p>
<p>Usually kids who rush do not live in a fraternity right away. They tend to move in the the frat house sophomore year, but second semester freshman year at the earliest. You can tell your mom you are trying to make contacts for business purposes after you graduate. Another popular argument is to suggest you and the other Indian try to get separate rooms in the same building so you can meet twice as many people and have more contacts to use during and after college.</p>
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also, people don't isolate asians...to be blunt, many asians (as well as whites/blacks/browns) form their own little packs. it's more noticable with asians because there's less of us so people notice when a gang of asians form their little pack, but when whites do it it's not as noticeable. this isn't true in every case, obviously
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<p>Exactly - whites do it all the time w/o the snide commentary.</p>
<p>Out of the other groups, Asians (percentage-wise), in comparison to blacks and non-white Hispanics, are more integrated into the "white" social sphere.</p>
<p>Yeah, you have your Asians who tend to stick together (usually "FOBs", foreign students or those who grew up in ethnic enclaves), but you also have your "whitewashed" Asians (withn the EA community, known as "bananas" or "twinkies") who pretty much only have white friends and don't know or hang out w/ other Asians.</p>
<p>Of course, there are also those who are able to mediate btwn the two somewhat disparate worlds.</p>
<p>Ugh. What is with all the racial food analogies? Can we please stop with those?</p>
<p>But seriously, I think people are in part responsible for their own isolation. If you make the effort to socialize with people outside your ethnic group, others will respond to you. However, I wouldn't necessarily expect them to reach out to you. And, in all honesty, it may take time for your new friends to be completely "blind" to the fact you don't look like them, especially if they grew up in a racially homogeneous environment. That is the experience I have had in highschool and the experience I expect in college. Mind you, it wasn't a negative experience, per se.</p>
<p>First of all, I do think it's obnoxious when people form social groups and socialize (have parties, eat with people, etc.) with only people of the same race or ethnic groups. The fact that white students do it often doesn't hold water because since most college campus are overwhelmingly white, it's of course going to be likely that the cliques that form are going to be mostly white. </p>
<p>Though I'm hispanic, I don't find that I need to go out of my way to interact with people of all races. If you choose friends based on their personality, likes/dislikes, etc., then chances are you're going to find plenty of people (regardless of their race) to be friends with.</p>
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[quote]
Yeah, you have your Asians who tend to stick together (usually "FOBs", foreign students or those who grew up in ethnic enclaves), but you also have your "whitewashed" Asians (withn the EA community, known as "bananas" or "twinkies") who pretty much only have white friends and don't know or hang out w/ other Asians
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Middle schools over, time to throw out stupid food analogies like "banana" and "twinkie" and start realizing that just because someone doesn't isolate themselves in a tight ethnic group and socializes with others <em>gasp</em> outside their race (yep, it's legal now!). The age of segregation is over, but it seems like people haven't gotten the memo yet....no, really, it's ok guys - we're allow to sit next to each other on the bus and use the same water fountains now!</p>
<p>I've been called a twinkie numerous time, mostly by fobby indians (i'm not even indian lol) who sneered at my accented urdu and my lack of knowledge about bollywood films, plus my white boyfriend...yeah, get over it kids.</p>
<p>My mom doesnt know what a frat is, i asked her if i can stay at an apartment with other friends (thats how i explained frat, but she couldnt) and she said that i will have to live in a dorm only so that i dont get exposed to american culture. I want to experince the american lifestyle. My mom is forcing me to stay with this nerdy indian who just sits on his computer making wierd programs and playing games all the time. I dont want to be stuck with such a room-mate, according to him drinking and watching porn is the extreme opposition of indian tradition.
And yeah i will probably convince my mom and will rush during the second sem, is it possible if i dont select him as a room-mate but he selects me and we get to become room-mates cause he has sent his housing contract and chosen me as his room mate, i havent yet sent them in, can i request them not to make him my roommate, lol, i know thats a bad thing to do.</p>
<p>Yeah you could probably say that you don't want to room with him on your housing contract. Honestly, once you get over here, your mom won't have the slightest idea who you hang out with or if you join a frat.</p>
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also, people don't isolate asians...to be blunt, many asians (as well as whites/blacks/browns) form their own little packs.
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This is spot on.</p>
<p>Anyway, you seem intent on joining a frat for the sake of meeting people. But you don't need to join a frat if you want to meet different people and make friends. You can do the same without joining a frat. If you want to join a frat for other reasons as well, that's fine; but don't think that joining a frat is the only way you will find friends.</p>
<p>Of course you can make friends with people of other races… It’s mostly just Korean people who only talk to Korean people in Korean… Apparently, their communities back in Korea would disown them if they make friends with ppl of other races (got that info from talking to someone with a korean roommate)</p>
<p>My best friend growing up was half-Korean (and I’m white). His mom resided in Korea for most of her life, and his father was a white American veteran. So I’m pretty sure that doesn’t hold true for a significant part of the Korean immigrant population.</p>
well, obviously that is just one example. But for the majority of Korean students at my school, I’ve never seen them socialize with anyone who isn’t Korean</p>
<p>And obviously his mom was full-blooded and older, thus giving even more of a reason for her to be non-social towards whites. And as I said, she married one and moved to America. Not to mention his grandma, whom couldn’t even speak English, was always very kind to me.</p>
<p>P.S. I guess Obama isn’t African-American either because his mom was white ;)</p>
<p>I know I’m responding late but my Dad came from India to college in America (Not to Perdue though), and he married my mom who’s white, so there was obviosuly a fair amount of socialization between them.</p>
<p>There are very large Asian (not hugely Indian or South Asian, but a few) and Jew populations where I live, and in general there’s a lot of racial integeration here. People have no qualms about socializing with people of other races at all. I’m still in Highschool (just scrolling around learning what I can from the forums here), but I really can’t imagine it would be different in college.</p>
<p>It depends where you go to school. In the south, it’s still somewhat segregated but it’s self-segregation. Probably 90% of my school only socializes regularly with someone of their own race, ESPECIALLY people in the Greek system (both black and white). Plus there is not a huge minority here anyway, except african-americans which are like, 15%. The rest is mostly white, with like 3% other minorities around (mostly international students who hang out together). </p>
<p>I personally have many friends of different races, although not all of them go to my college, I don’t really look at race when deciding on my friends, but here in the South it’s still kind of a big deal in alot of circles.</p>
If you do end up pledging a frat second semester, you can opt to live on-campus the following year and still participate in all the social activities with the other brothers. A lot of frats here require their members to have an in-house meal plan so that everyone eats together. Be aware though that if you join without telling your parents, you will have to come up with the money for dues, which can range from $1500 to $5000ish depending on whether you live in the house.</p>