<p>i just came to college a few of days ago. my roommate seems nice and when we first met it was pretty cool and we talked and laughed and everything. the thing is, like a day or two later, it just got awkward. and im pretty sure its me. throughout the last few days ive talked to people and stuff and played some frisbee and basketball with some people ive met, but it seems like as soon as thats over we part ways and im left alone. </p>
<p>the people on my floor are pretty friendly, and they seem to get along really well with my roommate. despite them being pretty nice and making attempts to talk to me, i just feel like i dont have anything to say past the "where are you from" "what classes" and a couple other comments. it seems like im incapabale of just talking about random stuff...jus socializing. ive always been shy but ive tried to come out of my box while at college. it seems to work well for like the first conversation, but then i just seem to run out of things to say and my conversations become dry and mechanical. when i hear people say something funny i just dont understand how they came up with that. it just seems like thats just not how my brain works. i know that if i could just keep a conversation going, id be soooo much better off because im usuall cool with people until that awkward stage where i just run out of things to say. well im just ranmbling now because i just feel kind of alone and dont have a group i can just hang out with. </p>
<p>why cant i make conversation past the initial greetings@!!!</p>
<p>Don't worry. I used to be the exact same way. The problem isn't you, but it isn't them either. You just don't mesh well with those people. They may be wonderful people, and you might be a wonderful person, but your personalities don't play off of each other's. My whole year last year was like that. I thought I was just some socially awkward person all year long. But this year all I did was move off campus and meet new people and it's soooooooo much better. Things will get better for you too. Trust me.</p>
<p>I feel your pain. The EXACT thing happens to me and I hate myself for not being able to keep a conversation going. I don't get invited anywhere, I don't get any phone calls, I am a social outcast.</p>
<p>I have the same proboblems too. I it's really like a pain in the heart!! But what can I do, when I talk something, I am risking the sake of my life and future. I hope all these will end soon though. good luck to you.</p>
<p>well the thing is, i feel like conversations with even my best friends that ive known for years get mechanical and boring. even if i feel comfortable around people i feel like i really just dont have anything to say...</p>
<p>for a long time ive felt like something is just different about me....like some sort of disorder...like the way i think or something. i like lose my trend of thought alot and i feel like i have adhd or something because my mind wanders alot. sometimes i have a really good memory, like if i am activtly trying to study something, but also sometimes its just horrible. like after i meet someone and they tell me a name, i could have forgotten it like 5 seconds after they tell me. i dont know if its because im nervous so im thinking about other stuff when they tell me there name or i just have some messed up brain,</p>
<p>i always was told i was smart..but lately i just feel stupid because i cant focus and my mind feels slow and jumbled..</p>
<p>lol i just had a conversation today with a friend of mine of 3 years that lasted 15 minutes. it was the longest conversation ive ever had with him or anyone from school. its nice to know i am capable of such things, its a shame it doesnt happen more often.</p>
<p>yes, me too. I am losing a lot of motivation to study beacuse my past friend doesn't seem to treat me a friend any more. It seems as taht my goal will never fullfil.</p>
<p>wow, someones shy and you think they have Aspergers? Thats just ridiculous. There a ton of shy people out there, not many of them actually have Aspergers. Im shy, I sometimes have probelms like this but I certainly do not have Aspergers... Anyway, just try to become comfortable with a couple of people in your hall they you feel that you can open up to...</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Your inabiity to converse beyond your mechanical bs is due to the excessive importance you place on what you say. Stop caring. Accept the fact that you are gonna say unfunny + stupid shlt.</p></li>
<li><p>Stop admiring other people and roll in like the cocky bastard you know you should be. Or something like that.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>If you hang around the same ppl long enuf, this will naturally happen.</p>
<p>some experts report that the incidence of Asperger's Syndrome is about 1 in 166. This may be a little high but the point is that it is also very common--there are many people who have difficulties in social situations. If your situation seems serious enough (ie starts to interfere with your studies, or causes extreme anxiety and affects your mental well-being etc) you should definitely consider seeking a diagnosis. Sometimes just knowing what the problem is can relieve a lot of stress and anxiety. </p>
<p>However, you also may just need to hang in there and ride it out a little longer. As people get to know you better in your classes or dorm they will come to recognize that you are just a shy person, and will look beyond the social being you present, and will in turn be more comfortable with you and include you more. It is probably easier for the more social kids to seek out other social kids in the early days of college--everyone is new and anxious to get to know each other and to make new friends very quickly, especially the more social ones whose "energy levels" thrive on their social interactions and friendships. Give it time and let people get to know you...join some clubs where you can socialize with others with the same interests; you will be more likely to find good friendships there, not just a group of kids to hang out with merely for the sake of hanging out with someone. Good luck to you...and know that you are NOT alone!!</p>
<p>Asperger's Syndrome is a neurological disorder that is considered part of the Autism/pervasive development disorder spectrum. Sort of like very high functioning autism. Generally individuals are very bright and do not have language development delays but have problems socially or in communicating with others. They often do not understand non-verbal or social cues and may also have other more autistic-like symptoms such being as over-sensitive to sounds or touches, unique speech patterns (partly because they don't understand the meanings behind tones of voice or inflection etc), may be lacking in empathy/appear unemotional and very logical, may find transitions or changes in routine difficult. They also tend to be very passionate about certain things and may talk relentlessly about their favorite topics - again, not understanding when to speak and when not to... Think of your stereotypical "geek" or absent-minded professor, this is what many people with AS are like (ASpies are usually much more high functioning than "Rainman"). They also often thrive in the academic climate of colleges where their differences are much more tolerated than in other parts of society and where they can pursue their interests in-depth. However, this is also a fairly new diagnosis and there is no one description and symptoms and severity can vary widely from person to person.</p>
<p>i just finished the entire wiki on it. it is amazing how much of that applies to me, even little things mentioned like inability to block out repetitive noise and excessive absorbtion into interests.</p>
<p>however i know when to talk and when not to, and 95% of the time i can function without anyone knowing that i lack social skills or confidence in social situations. i tend to mask my problems by not talking ever since i realized i had little to contribute to conversations.</p>
<p>ya i know what you mean....its hard to just come up with stuff to say and i have no idea how some ppl just always know what to say at the right time....im jealous of that</p>
<p>I understand where you guys are coming from but really don't make it out to be something worse than it really is. Sometimes those people that like talking a lot can get themselves in trouble by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Also reading those articles, and I've been a victim of this, can often make you think, damn maybe I have this disorder. I would stay away from the articles just so you don't get caught up thinking you have something wrong simply because you have some of the things it describes. If you really feel you have a problem, never hesistate to seek professional help. Your better off getting help, then none. And definitely give it more time. It's been a month (more or less) since classes started again so don't expect everyone to simply click right away. Doesn't happen like that.</p>
<p>i dunno if i have that aspergers and i dont know how i would go about finding out if theres anything wrong.it seems like a couple of those things do apply to me...like ive always been extremely sensitive to touch (like so ticklish it almost hurts) but i dunno some of the other things dont really seem to apply...</p>
<p>I used to be like that because I was very shy and self conscious and spent lots of time trying to figure out the perfect thing to say. Meanwhile, in actuality, people were not judging each of my words like I thought they were doing.</p>
<p>Some things that can help:</p>
<p>Virtually everyone appreciates a good listener. To be a good listener, ask leading questions, not questions that require one word answers. "Do you like your roommate?" is not the best question to answer because many people may just say, "yes" or "no." </p>
<p>"In what ways is your roommate different than what you anticipated?" is a better question because the person has to give a longer answer. If you ask a question like this, to keep the conversation going, also answer it. Or you can start by saying, "I was surprised that my roommate was XXXXX. Another sentence here about roommate" and then add, "What surprised you about yours?"</p>
<p>People tend to say more if the other person first gives their own experience before asking the other person to reveal theirs.</p>
<p>Also, if you get involved in some clubs or other activities -- even seeing movies or going to concerts or the campus fitness center will give you things to talk about.</p>
<p>And be gentle with yourself. It takes a while to learn these skills, so give yourself a pat on the back for any new things you try whether or not you do those things perfectly.</p>