<p>I have a few questions about how the whole fraternity selection thing works. I come from a family where few have gone to college and none have joined a fraternity or sorority, so I have very little exposure to this part of college.</p>
<p>I'm a freshman, starting my second semester at a college with a large Greek presence. I didn't rush for a frat when I first got here last semester for a variety of reasons, but mostly it was about taking my time and seeing what the frats would be like, who I would meet in my dorm, and so on.</p>
<p>When spring rush started a few weeks ago I was informally approached by some guys I knew at one fraternity and encouraged to rush. Let's call this Frat 1. I met some other members and they offered me an invitation to join, or rather pledge, prior to the formal beginning of rush week. I liked them and told them I'd like to see what else was out there and I'd get back to them. They seemed fine with this. I met with several frat members from several frats and got several other bids, but decided I'd like to go with Frat 1. I called one of the guys I knew and he told me that I had missed out on my chance to join. He was very abrupt. Minimal info, no opening to talk. Did my invitation expire? Did I offend someone? I have no idea.</p>
<p>Of the other bids I received I'm only interested in two of them. Let's call them Frat 2 an Frat 3. They are very similar and it's not worth going into the advantages and disadvantages of each one here. The members of both have made it clear that they really want me. But the important thing is that I really feel that I would fit in better with the guys at Frat 1 than at either Frat 2 or Frat 3. That is, assuming that there was just some kind of simple procedural mixup at Frat 1, such as the guys offering me the early bid didn't know there was an expiration on it.</p>
<p>So part of me is thinking that I should just wait until next year and try again for Frat 1. And if they don't want me I could still go with Frat 2 or Frat 3, but it means another semester without being a a part of the Greek life. Also, I think I'm obsessing too much over the choice between Frat 2 and Frat 3. As I said, they are very similar. So one specific cluster of questions I have is this: </p>
<p>How important is this choice? Do frats do things together? It seems that once I'm a part of the network, I'll have some contact with all fraternities. On the other hand, even if I'm included in parties and bar nights, I imagine that most of the socializing once you get there is within each fraternity. So will this choice determine my friends for the next 3+ years?</p>
<p>Any responses to the above questions and my general situation would be appreciated. Also, any thoughts about waiting until the fall to try for Frat 1 again.</p>