Someone critique my general statement for UC prompt 1? (desparate)

<p>I would be very grateful if someone would take a small amount of time to point out any mistakes or flaws within my personal essay for prompt 1 where it asks us to describe the world we come from and how it has affected our dreams/aspirations. If anyone will help, I'll send the essay by pm. Thanks in advance.</p>

<p>bump …</p>

<p>Anyone please?</p>

<p>anyone at all? I could really use the help here.</p>

<p>bump of ultimate inactivity. anyone? fedback would be invaluable at this point…</p>

<p>If you still haven’t submitted, send it my way.</p>

<p>Thanks a million.</p>