someone grade my essay please? Thanks!

<p>Prompt: Is creativity needed more than ever today?</p>

<p>Creativity is needed more than ever today because human beings, becoming more ando mre alike in their thinking, are throwing themsleves into the posisblity of losing their independence. It is important to foster creativity because it is only with creativity that individuals are able to demonstrate individuality and intellectual capacity. While in modern times, we have many tools to minimize the stresses of thinking, it is sitll important to promote creativity if we want to continue being independent.
An example of a society of people htat have lost their independence is North Korea, due to the fact that its dictator restrains any form of creativity among his citizens. When a gifted writer named Kim Tang wrote a poem about his idea of heaven, which was quite creative, Kim Jong Il (dictator) arrested Tang for thinking that any place was more considered heaven than North Korea. As a result, its citizens realized that being creative was dangerous, and ended up living as robots who did not think for themselves. By limiting his people's creativity, Kim Jong Il was able to have complete control over a group of people who did whatever he said, out of fear.
Another example of a society that is failing because of lack of creativity is the Ameircan high school, that is increasingly producing dependent adults into the wider community. In an American high school, students are flooded by the media on what is perceived to be beautiful and by classes on what is perceived to be right. As a result, these students grow to believe that they should be who society tells them to be, instead of being themselves and using their creativity to declare their own indivudality. that is why many students are graduating high shcool and struggling to get into college because they fail to decide for themselves what kind of life they want to live. They end up being dependent on their parents even after years of schooling for survival because they don't know what they want in life.
Creativity is therefore important in today's society, where people may risk losing their independence if they forget this importance.</p>

<p>Sucky conclusion, I know, but I was running out of time. But thanks for reading this essay and please provide me with any tips you have in mind</p>

<p>I dont think your North Korea example is strong. If I were you, I would use the example of Steve Jobs- only hire the most excellent, ingenious people… and Bill Gates who gives freedom for the worker to a few projects of their choice every year…</p>

<p>i would add an example of something that is thriving because of creativity. ^steve jobs/bill gates would be a good one.
the second example is weak and tone is a bit too casual.
overall, 8 or 9</p>