<p>Is creativity needed more than ever in our world?</p>
<p>In modern society, where new ideas are constantly being spurted out, only few are original. These original ideas are important, however, because they allow the world to continue to develop. Creativity is needed because it can rescue society from the problems it is facing.</p>
<p>A problem that society is currently facing is to stop global warming. A new way of creating energy must be invented before 2020, when sun radiation levels will become a danger to the world and its population, at the current rate of global warming. Creating this new way of energy will require creativity. For example, it is already a fact that fusing two atoms will create enough energy to power the whole earth for a day. However, the energy needed to fuse the two atoms is even greater. The world needs to figure out a way to fuse atoms without using too much energy by using creativity.</p>
<p>Another problem that society is facing is the fall of the economy. Innumerable teachers are being laid-off from schools, many people are losing their jobs, and the percentage of unemployment is higher than ever. With this downfall, a thorough solution is needed immediately, but simple solutions may not work out. Society must observe how humans think, and how they will react to different situations in order to formulate the perfect solution.</p>
<p>While creativity helps the world develop in new ideas, it can also save society from the difficulties that it is facing. Creativity is obviously needed more than ever in the world today.</p>
<p>Your second example is completely irrelevant, and you lost me half way through. Your first example is mediocre, but acceptable. More concrete historical/literary evidence is needed, not simple speculation and opinions. The SAT essay specifically requires that you provide a strong argument to support your position. The reader already knows your opinion, and now he or she wants to be convinced by it. The only way to do that is to cite relevant and strong examples, and present them lucidly. Length is also a problem for you, you definitely need to write more, unless it only looks short because it’s not on paper. What I’m getting at here, is that you need to plan your essay with more focus. You need to make sure your examples are of high quality. Then you need to present them in a clear and concise manner. </p>
<p>-Your sentence variation is good.
-Your grammar is good.
-Your transitions are good.
-Your length is average.
-Your examples are not good.</p>
<p>Grade: 8.</p>
<p>Thanks for grading it. Do you have any tips?</p>
<p>You can find guidance for improvement in my previous post, but here’s a quick summary/outline.</p>
<p>-Write more relevant examples.
-Write more, if you can do so without sacrificing quality.
-Address the prompt more directly in your examples, and don’t wander off.
-It’s okay to take 2-3 minutes planning your essay and brainstorming for examples. If you don’t, and you end up writing something you’re not satisfied with, then that’s that. You cannot erase it, it’s already on paper, and you’re already out of time. It’s wise to plan your essay thoroughly.
-Try to lengthen your conclusion, and give it more emphasis.</p>
<p>^Agreed. Also, just to correct some grammar mistakes: (wrong/right):</p>
<p>a problem … is to stop → a problem … is stopping</p>
<p>when sun radiation levels will become a danger to the world and its population, at the current rate of global warming → when, at the current rate of global warming, the solar radiation will become a danger to the world and TO its population, </p>
<p>Innumerable teachers are being laid-off from schools, many people are losing their jobs, and the percentage of unemployment is higher than ever → (try to keep the structure parallel) … and unemployment rates are growing higher than ever…</p>
<p>I think 8 is a bit harsh… I would give it a 9! And definitely try to lengthen your conclusion, it will help you a lot!</p>