Son did poorly first semester; what to do?

Colleges and Universities A-Z College of William and Mary
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<p>My freshman son turned in a miserable set of grades at William and Mary for his first semester. We think he will be allowed to come back, and he would have to do better (couldn't miss, believe me!), but we're not sure that it is wise.</p>

<p>First, his room situation was worried us from the start. It was rundown, had a few very outdated outlets, and was small--smaller than everyone else's on the hallway. In addition, his roommate brought an enormous flatscreen TV and XBox, which is a magnet for everyone on the hall.</p>

<p>My son claims he had sleep issues all semester and started sleeping through his classes. His bike was stolen three times right outside Monroe dorm, which is supposed to be the Scholar's dorm(!). I know he locked it because I drove down there and found it myself, and the thief was still using his bike lock (figured out the combination). On the third and final time, the thief picked the U-Lock that I bought him. This time the bike is gone for good. It was nothing special by the way, just a Costco brand called Northrock. I knew not to buy something expensive or flashy. Still, they wouldn't leave it alone. </p>

<p>It gets worse. His laptop was stolen in the library. Students, he tells me, leave their laptops lying around everywhere in the library, but somehow my son's was the one that was taken. It wasn't an Apple, just a simple Dell I got at Costco. </p>

<p>I talked to the police several times. Like so many William and Mary offices, they are understaffed and overwhelmed, they tell me. A bike is REPORTED STOLEN about once a day there, usually by fellow students. That's just the ones that are reported. They have no real plan for catching the thieves that do this. Essentially what the Captain told me they do is just sit and wait. Wait for the IT person to spot someone logging on to the campus internet using a stolen IP address, wait for the students to go home in May and sort through the leftover bikes. </p>

<p>I called the Dean of Students' office in October. We were afraid that my son was being harassed by someone in his dorm (he is not in a fraternity). The dean was so busy with "hearings," I was told, that he would not be able to return my call for TWO WEEKS. I couldn't believe it. A felony has been committed against one lone freshman four times, and it's not a priority. </p>

<p>My son is ultimately the one responsible for his poor academic performance, but please be warned. The students there have LOTS OF OBSTACLES to overcome when they enroll at William and Mary for their first semester: inadequate living quarters; VERY LARGE classes of 300 students or more for key courses (Biology, World History, Econ, Calculus, to name a few); an out-of-touch and overworked staff that's in charge of their safety and well-being; an honor code that is being ignored by a growing segment of the student body; and a counseling center that is booking appointments three weeks out. </p>

<p>Another interesting aside: in the Monroe Dorm, which houses the brightest 5 percent of the freshmen class, students are failing courses left and right. He knows of six Monroe scholars that have failed Calculus alone. Many are failing Biology. </p>

<p>I would love to know William and Mary's take on this madness. What is the purpose of putting all of this pressure on such a bright group of young adults when you MUST know that you don't have the facilities or the staff to adequately supervise them? Blaming it on budget cuts just is not a responsible answer. These are developing human beings you are working with, and I would think that three suicides in one calendar year (2010) would be a wakeup call for any reasonable administration. </p>

<p>Good luck to all of you on College Confidential.</p>

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<p>I am sorry for your son’s extremely bad luck in being the victim of several crimes during his first semester. I’m sorry for his many difficulties and your low opinion of the school, as well. I’m a strong W&M supporter, but my contrary opinion won’t change the unfortunate things that happened to your son. And, of course, one theft is too many. If several unfortunate things befall one individual, my pointing out the overwhelming majority of students who don’t have bikes or computers stolen (or significant difficulties with other students or their room location or contacting the administration) won’t change that person’s negative history or impressions.</p>

<p>I question your resulting conclusions, however, that his experience constitutes “madness” on an institutional scale, that the honor code is “being ignored by a growing segment of the student body,” or that the school is

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<p>Re counseling: yes, there’s a waiting period for initial appointments, which is unfortunate. There is at most state schools, and probably even private schools (and outside of colleges, as well). In emergency situations, students are seen immediately during office hours, and are told to contact Campus Police during off-hours. This is far from perfect, but it does mean that the neediest students can be seen within a reasonable time frame. It would be terrific to have round-the-clock counselors available, but I wonder if there are any schools where this happens.</p>

<p>You say your son has had four felonies committed against him, but I’m not certain that having a bike stolen (even three times) constitutes a felony. Here’s the most recent crime statistics report (for 2010): <a href=“http://www.wm.edu/offices/iae/institutional_research_reporting/crime_campus_security/2010_crime_stats_web.pdf[/url]”>http://www.wm.edu/offices/iae/institutional_research_reporting/crime_campus_security/2010_crime_stats_web.pdf&lt;/a&gt; The school is mandated to report robberies and burglaries, not petty thefts; there were 37 burglaries in 2010, and 0 robberies. I have heard that bike theft is fairly common, and that laptop theft is all but unheard of. You mention that you were concerned about your son being harassed by a dorm-mate. Is it possible this person targeted your son for some reason and stole his belongings?</p>

<p>You also mention that you contacted the Dean of Students office and were told that he couldn’t return your call for 2 weeks. (The Dean is a woman, btw - Patricia Volp.) What happened when the office returned your call? When my d needed to contact the Dean’s office over a holiday weekend about a family emergency, she was given a phone appointment within 2 days, and found the assistant dean she worked with very responsive. Did your son try to contact the Dean’s office himself? Perhaps office policy is to respond more quickly to student-initiated calls.</p>

<p>You don’t seem to be looking for resources for dealing with the poor grades. You seem ready for your son to transfer elsewhere - how does he feel about it? If he shares your low opinion of the school, perhaps that’s wise. I’d just add that first semester of freshman year is always challenging, sometimes unfairly so, and that second-semester grades usually improve because the student has learned to deal with distractions and setbacks. The average undergrad male GPA at W&M is 3.17, which includes all 4 years, so certainly a GPA well below 3.0 is not unusual for freshman year.</p>

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<p>I am sorry to hear that your son had a bad first semester. It is unfortunate that he had his bike and computer stolen. My son is a first year student (at another fine state school with an honor code), and I worried about his computer being stolen or lost. Fortunately, neither has happened. In the chance that it could, I purchased a rider on our homeowner’s policy. For $10.80/year it covers his lost or stolen technology while he is at school. I hope the second semester goes better for your son!</p>

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<p>I graduated from W&M in 1988. During my 1st Semester at W&M I too lived at Monroe and earned a distinguished 1.9 GPA. I spent a lot of time drinking over at the College Delly (the drinking age was 18 back then). Christmas break wasn’t very pleaseant. Lets just say that I learned where the library was during my second semester and managed to raise my GPA substantially.</p>

<p>Monroe looks the same today as it did when I lived there. It has a rustic charm to it and the location is fantastic. While I was there other students “borrowed” my bike as well, but overall I think it is a much better place to be than other colleges in the state.</p>

<p>Hope your son does better next semester. </p>

<p>all the best</p>

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<p>Well, no surprise about Monroe - it’s old, and not terribly comfortable - it is in a nice location, but that’s about it.</p>

<p>The thefts are really troubling - one of things DD enjoyed most about the campus was how safe and secure she felt there. Once she lost her wallet, and before she even realized it was missing, she had an email asking where they could return it to her, similar story with an iPod Students were proud to share anecdotes reporting similar things.</p>

<p>I have to wonder if frazzled1 might be onto something - it could be targeted. Not that this would make it better. I’m shocked anyone would commit that kind of effort to steal a locked bike - there are usually far easier targets. Beyond insurance, I’d look at something like Lojack for the laptop - if it happens again, I’d want to identify the thief.</p>

<p>The freshman 1st semester isn’t that uncommon - suddenly, they’re on their own, and many find that what worked in high school doesn’t work anymore. Most recover to do fine, he just needs to find his feet. </p>

<p>The roommate situation isn’t good - he’s going to have to assert his right to a good night’s sleep, and set some rules with the roommate.</p>

<p>Best of luck to both of you.</p>

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<p>No. Please stop posting these kind of things. As a current freshman at William and Mary I must speak up against your post. The respect students hold for the honor code of the college is astounding. Aside from bikes being “borrowed” (they remain on campus at all times, I’m sure your son will stumble upon his bike eventually) we never and I repeat NEVER steal. We leave our doors open, we leave our computers unguarded, we even leave our WALLETS in the open. The amount of respect we hold for both our peers and the honor code yields an unsurpassable level of trust that radiates throughout the campus. Your son’s classes are large because, as a freshman, they’re mostly introductory level courses. As a fellow freshman, I took five courses this past semester - each of which contained at least 150 students. As your son progresses his classes will become more specialized and thus smaller. He just needs to be patient for now and work through his lower level courses. The staff here is extremely devoted to both the students they teach and the school they love. They are always willing to stay after class and their doors are ALWAYS open. To be quite honest I chose to make an account on this website just to comment on this post. I may sound mean or rude or disrespectful but, in reality, I was simply a taken aback by most of your comments. Your son had a rough first semester. It’s as simple as that. As a Monroe scholar I’m sure he performed outstandingly in high school without a single blip in his academic career. College, though, is a whole new animal. Your son now realizes that he cannot sleep through class and he must study more. He learned his lesson the hard way and he now has to work himself out of it. I found it very offensive for you to make inappropriate and untrue comments against the college, its faculty and its students. The fault for your son’s poor grades falls in nobody’s hands other than his own. Prospective students could be reading through these forums and decide not to come to such a wonderful school after reading a false accusation you have made. I truly hope that they do not take your comments to heart.</p>

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<p>just want to throw this out there… just because something is stolen on campus, does not mean it was stolen by a student! anyone can walk up to a bike rack or into the library.</p>

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<p>they are adequate for everyone else.</p>

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<p>I’m pretty sure the largest lecture hall on campus seats 300, and there is only one that size. Also, my calc class freshman year had like 30 people. I also stopped going to it, and I was far from the only one (not that I am recommending this course of action). Has this changed? Anyway, introductory courses are big at every school. After you get beyond those GERs, they are smaller. Most of my classes were 20-30 kids.</p>

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<p>doubtful… the honor code is taken very seriously at W&M.</p>

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<p>Do you think the police should examine every bike on campus looking for yours? Is that a good use of resources?</p>

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<p>Maybe they don’t study or go to class. Just because you live in Monroe doesn’t mean you are entitled to a good GPA and you are head and shoulders above the rest of the W&M population. There are tons and tons of VERY talented and smart people at W&M. If you don’t do they work, they will fly by you. Monroe scholar doesn’t mean you get to coast on your academics. W&M has a reputation for being a very challenging school and a strong commitment to undergraduate education.</p>

<p>And I don’t say this as a straight A student… I barely got any A’s at W&M.</p>

<p>The average freshman GPA at W&M is under 3.0 (I think in the 2.9 range)… overall average undergraduate GPA is 3.25 or so.</p>

<p>In the big picture, every single student at W&M was among the top in their high school. But, thanks to math, half of the students at W&M will have a GPA below average. It can’t be any other way.</p>

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<p>I am a current freshman residing in Monroe and I find these comments offensively generalized towards the school. My first few months at William and Mary were the best of my life. In the case that prospective students see this page I feel the need to respond to your comments. </p>

<p>To start, I love Monroe. Admittedly, it’s old, has no air conditioning and doesn’t have a ton of outlets. I can say with complete certainty that this has done absolutely nothing to detract from my experience at The College. My roommate and I have surge protectors which provide all the outlets we need and Wi-fi can be picked up virtually anywhere on campus. The lack of air conditioning in the first few weeks forced my roommate and I outside and into social situations. I made my best friends in those first few weeks hanging in the air conditioned lounge or in rooms that had window units. Monroe is, to an extent greater than any other “large” dorm, very community centered. I know almost every one of the 150 residents. The rooms are larger than those of any other college I considered and larger than most other freshman rooms. Friends that visit are impressed with the size of the room. </p>

<p>Professors at William and Mary are renowned for their accessibility and passion for teaching. I had one class of 300 people (Microeconomics), perhaps with your son, and four others each with under 70 students. Of these, one was a class of twenty and another a class of eight. The economics professor devoted three hours everyday towards office hours, and met with any student who needed help – this says a lot about the school, since there were obviously dozens of students who needed help. In my other classes professors would help me through every step of writing a paper, and got to know me personally. I was invited over to dinner at one professor’s house one night, something you won’t find with a freshman at almost any other public university. </p>

<p>Although I personally haven’t had to deal with the Dean of Students, friends who have found them responsive and helpful. Your son seems to have run into a lot of bad luck, but it would be wrong to assume this is the norm. </p>

<p>The roommate situation is tricky; however, this presents a prime time to learn first hand how to resolve personal conflicts. These skills are necessary to life and I’m sure your son and his roommate can come to some sort of understanding.</p>

<p>Regarding the theft, Monroe unfortunately had a string of bike vandalism and theft. No, the honor code is not unanimously followed. This isn’t a school for angels. But I’ve left many more expensive things unattended and never dealt with a theft. The honor code is still respected by most students. In fact, when I thought my textbook was stolen, half the hall joined me in searching for it, only to realize it had been borrowed by a friend. Monroe can petition the Student Assembly for funds to install a security camera for next semester if necessary. Hopefully this won’t be the case. However, since Monroe is on the edge of campus, the theives could easily be people from the town. </p>

<p>Regarding academics: don’t stress the Monroe scholar label. Everyone at the school is bright and all the classes are meant to be challenging. I am not a scholar and it didn’t keep me from taking hard classes, struggling through them, and ultimately succeeding. Monroe Scholars were awarded this honor from achievements made in high school. It’s a clean slate once you reach college. William and Mary has a reputation for rigorous academics so no one should be surprised to work hard. It’s true, the school isn’t for everyone, but most of the students thrive under raised expectations. Doing poorly first semester is more of a wake up call than a sign that your son isn’t worthy. Sometimes it just takes a while to discover how to balance social and study time. </p>

<p>You end on a chilling note about three suicides in 2010. This is, tragically, true. Your implication, however, that it is in some way indicative of a poorly run school is ridiculous. Two quotes from a Washington Post article about the third suicide. (Regarding the school’s response)
“Still, William and Mary, an elite state university with nearly 8,000 students in Virginia’s Tidewater region, responded with major new initiatives on campus. College officials dispatched grief counselors. And the student government put notes on dorm-room doors warning of the signs of severe depression”</p>

<p>And to show how misleading that point is: "William and Mary had 11 suicides in the 41 years before the recent run of deaths. "</p>

<p>To say that the school handles student problems inadequately or is somehow to blame is offensive. The whole article is linked below.
[Third</a> suicide this year at William & Mary highlights challenges of prevention](<a href=“http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/11/12/AR2010111202853.html]Third”>http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/11/12/AR2010111202853.html)</p>

<p>Anyways, I apologize for the length of this, but I love my college and I hate to see people put it unfairly in a bad light. I also hate to see people like your son struggle through their first semester; I’m truly sorry for the onslaught of challenges he has been forced to deal with. I hope he continues with it and finds success or finds someplace that makes him happy.</p>

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<p>OP, do you have twins? I ask because your previous posts raise issues that might have some relevance to your son’s problems at W&M. Last year, you posted:

Are you taking about the same student here? The concerns mentioned above are certainly more likely to be responsible for poor grades than any institutional mismanagement.</p>

<p>I know that many posters deliberately obscure identifying factors, such as gender, age, state of origin, etc., which is certainly understandable. It doesn’t much matter whether fountain has a son or daughter at W&M; however, if a student isn’t on his/her academic game, W&M is going to be a much more challenging place. I don’t accept fountain’s portrayal of W&M as an institution, but I will acknowledge that a student with possible ADHD (untreated) who needs more in the way of academic support than other high-achieving students, and would do better in small classes, is not a good fit at the college.</p>

<p>According to earlier posts, fountain’s child is not a Monroe Scholar (and therefore presumably not among the top 5 percent of admits) and seems to have applied ED (and therefore presumably made the decision to attend in the fall of senior year, which can be too early for some 17/-18 y/os). I feel these are important points for future applicants and their parents to consider in weighing the OP’s portrayal of the school.</p>

<p>Like the articulate student posters above, my d (a senior) was offended by the accusation that “the honor code is being ignored by a growing segment of the student body.” The Monroe bike racks are accessible to any random passerby; Swem doesn’t require an ID swipe for entrance. Students understand that the honor code is enforced, and that their academic careers might well be ended for violations. What a shame to assume that a student is responsible for these crimes.</p>

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<p>The Thank goodness for CC. I had no idea how bad this place is. I would have never deamed that stealing a bike is not a violation of the honor code. or that class’s have 300 students in them.</p>

<p>It is off the list.</p>

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<p>I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic, but just to be sure…</p>

<p>If you write “class’s” as the plural of “class” and lack general reading comprehension, then you probably will not be getting any acceptance letters from W&M anyway.</p>

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Where did you get that impression, orcaaa? The honor code prohibits lying, cheating, and stealing. The OP said her son had been the victim of felonies, and I pointed out that stealing a bike is probably not considered a felony. The OP stated that students are increasingly ignoring the honor code, and I (and other posters) pointed out that there’s no way of knowing that a student stole the bike or the computer. I can’t see how you conflated that with bike stealing not being an honor code violation.</p>

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<p>Hey original poster,
This is all crazy. And you are acting crazy. YOU are afraid that your son is being harassed, so YOU call the Dean of Students??? Is your son incapable of making a call? You say the U-lock was picked? Those are not pickable! It is regrettable that he had a bad semester, but I suspect that he is making up some stories to shift blame from himself. Perhaps he didn’t put the lock on the bike! It is unlikely that masses of Monroe Scholars are failing classes. Some people do have trouble with calculus and biology, but the problem is much more of Ds than Fs.</p>

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<p>WOW,
The OP seems to have an axe to grind on the Tribe! As a parent of a soon to be student, I find some of the comments hard to believe. Without saying what I really want to say in response to the allegations I will say this. Some of the things that she mentioned will happen on ANY AND EVERY Campus!! W&M is not exempt from those actions, (a theft) although it probably happens less frequently there than elsewhere because of its Honor Code that I’m sure the majority of the students adhere to and believe in. </p>

<p>I would also offer her to chance finding a bike (stolen or borrowed) on VT or UVA campus, or a metropolitan campus such as ODU,Richmond or VCU…you would consider it gone!! As a parent, I would suggest that you have a heart to heart with your son and stop blaming W&M for his actions. Some things he can’t control, but he can control his grades. For Orcaa, if your opinion of W&M has changed due to an unverified post of a disgruntled parent, then W&M was probably never for you to begin with!</p>

<p>Go Tribe</p>

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<p>Grand larceny in the State of Virginia is is an unclassified felony which is punishable by jail time. Larceny becomes “grand” when the object taken is valued at $200 or over. Certainly the computer was. If the son’s stolen bike also fell into that category, yes, the bike theft would be considered a felony. So four felonies. And if the same person has been doing it, even worse. </p>

<p>Despite the laudable loyalty of the students who are vigorously defending the Tribe and its culture, bad stuff still happens at the best of places, and that bad stuff is routinely minimized or artfully glossed over during the student tours when and if the subject comes up. And this has been true in all the campus tours I have taken at multiple colleges and universities. Casting aspersions on the son, or the OP will not make what happened to him less true, or render it it an isolated case that certainly “couldn’t happen to me” because most people there are good and honest. In fact, the story would give me pause and cause me to be less cavalier with leaving my possessions lying around unguarded in the library or around campus. </p>

<p>According to the crime statistics linked by frazzled1, there seems to have been a significant rise in campus burglaries starting in 2005-2006 compared to previous years, and that the level has stayed around the same since. (And these are just the burglaries that have been reported.) It would be interesting to know what happened in 2005 that triggered the change.</p>

<p>My sympathies to the OP. It sounds like it’s been quite a nasty semester for the son on multiple levels, and law enforcement and the administration have been less than helpful. Given the general reverence that is accorded to the top colleges and universities and the honor code culture that is hyped everywhere, it appears that the OP was disillusioned by the disconnect between S’s reality and the school’s mythos, not to mention the general disappointment over the grades. OP expected better.</p>

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<p>I agree with the author. WM sucks</p>

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<p>Well, that sheds some light. :rolleyes: lovethewayyoulie, you are going to have difficulty transferring to VT, NYU, or UIUC (schools you’ve inquired about in other threads) if you continue to think that you’re unhappy at W&M because it “sucks.” You’re at a poor fit school. You had a difficult first semester and are unhappy with your GPA. You don’t like W&M’s registration process, the faculty you’ve encountered, the food, and other aspects of student life there. Blaming any school for your unhappiness there is not the way to go when you’re applying to other schools. I strongly suggest that you look at your part in your first semester performance/experience and take responsibility for it. You’ll be a stronger transfer applicant if you do.</p>

<p>Vot123, your post was fair and objective; the OP was not. I can understand her venting about so many disappointments and problems, but don’t understand blaming the obstacles the OP’s s/d encountered for his/her poor academic performance. The OP was concerned about the student’s ability to handle the workload even before the semester began. W&M, like most state schools, is for students who can bloom where they’re planted. That’s a valuable insight to come out of this discussion, but it doesn’t mean that W&M is unresponsive to student needs as an institution. fiddlecanoe’s comment that we don’t know the bike was locked resonated with me, because when my kids were younger and less mature, I’d occasionally receive a highly selective version of the truth when they found themselves in various jams.

It absolutely does. Bike thefts, even laptop thefts, are not unusually common at W&M. I suggest that applicants and parents consider the source when evaluating what they read about any school online. Parents of happy, satisfied students are admittedly biased, as are parents of unhappy students. But there are many more happy students than unhappy ones.</p>

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<p>Virginia is a commonwealth, not a state :)</p>

<p><<according to="" the="" crime="" statistics="" linked="" by="" frazzled1,="" there="" seems="" have="" been="" a="" significant="" rise="" in="" campus="" burglaries="" starting="" 2005-2006="" compared="" previous="" years,="" and="" that="" level="" has="" stayed="" around="" same="" since="">>></according></p>

<p>This is when things like laptop computers and ipods/smart phones became much more common. Those things are easy to grab and run and costly, so I’m not surprised that people report thefts of those, whereas they wouldn’t bother with a $15 Walkman or $20 phone.</p>

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<p>^^^interesting observation regarding the shift in quality of the booty. This makes me even less inclined to yield to D’s repeated requests for a fancy smartphone like all her friends supposedly have. Her current “stupid-phone” will just have to suffice for the foreseeable future.</p>

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<p>maybe it was Gene Nichol…</p>

<p>lol</p>