<p>I talked to my son today and he is pretty adamant about not attending his college graduation. This is the reason why. He is taking 18 credits this semester and all of his grades won't be in until after graduation. He says that no one gets their diplomas until 6 weeks after the ceremony. All seniors are eligible to "graduate" but if they fail any of their classes they won't find out until after the ceremony has taken place. He attends a pretty large school with 16,000 undergraduate students. Maybe this is how all large schools approach graduation, but I think the process is awful. He just doesn't feel right about attending. Any thoughts would be appreciated.</p>
<p>Given his hesitancy-sounds like he may feel more comfortable walking next year. Is that an option?</p>
<p>I don’t think he would return to graduate in December. Just my feeling on it.</p>
<p>Boy…tough situation.</p>
<p>Our DD graduated early-last Dec…we asked her if she would consider walking this June as it would mean a lot to us. We also let her know we would support her in whatever decision she felt was right for her.
Maybe that scenario would work for you and your son?</p>
<p>~APOL-a Mum</p>
<p>PS…DD decided to attend…will never know if it was because we asked, or if she really wanted to hear Stephen Colbert! Hah!!
Life with kids-NEVER boring =)</p>
<p>Our son’s large university had one very large graduation ceremony and than an smaller departmental ceremony where diploma holders (the actual diploma came in the mail later) were handed out. He elected not to attend the large ceremony and only go to the smaller departmental one. It was fine with us.</p>
<p>DDs smaller school had one graduation ceremony for all. Anyone within a certain number of credits of graduation was allowed to walk in the event. In fact, our DD had a course to complete online during the summer to finish her double degree. She went to the graduation even though she had not satisified all of the requirements for both degrees. Her name was listed in the program for her first BS degree, but not the second one (finishing that online course was essential to completing the requirements for it). Fine with her…she marched in graduation.</p>
<p>Back in the dark ages, I did NOT go to my own undergrad ceremonies or my grad school ceremonies. In both cases, I finished my degree requirements at “odd” times and would have had to return to walk in graduation months later. I elected to not do so. I got my degree and diploma anyway. I will add, however, my parents didn’t give two hoots about the ceremonies in either case…all they would have seen was me and several hundred others stand at the same time…no individual names announced at all.</p>
<p>If this is REALLY important to one stakeholder (parents/student), then it should at least be discussed.</p>
<p>One of my kids didn’t want to walk at graduation for his large university too. We battled a little bit, and kid ultimately did agree to go to the graduation. I admit that it was more for us than for him. I have mixed feelings about it. It was nice, and we got some great pictures. On the other hand, it was very impersonal and it didn’t really matter in the scheme of things. As far as I can tell, of the two kids who have reached graduation age now, about 1/3 of their friends haven’t gone and/or are refusing to go this year to their graduation ceremonies. They do, however, intend to go to their grad school graduations. I don’t know if this is a new trend, but even the kids who agree to go aren’t happy about it. </p>
<p>I’m sure if a school has a big-name speaker, the ratio of participants to no-shows goes up.</p>
<p>If your kid refuses, consider whether he’ll at least agree to get a nice portrait done (time to replace that high school graduation picture!) and if the family can have a special dinner or party in his honor. As parents, we want to celebrate the milestones.</p>
<p>I went to a large state university and chose not to participate in the graduation ceremony. I’ve never felt like I missed out on anything. Maybe he would just prefer a smaller celebration with family and friends.</p>
<p>Our son should graduate spring of 2012 but he will need one more class in the first half of summer session to complete his requirements. They told him he could walk with his class in May and he is planning on it. It seems like it would be anticlimactic to walk across the stage and then turn around and go to class but his other option would be to go to August graduation and he will have been long gone by then. I guess I will eventually forget that he didn’t really graduate when I look at pictures of him in his gown.</p>
<p>Although I had completed all of my requirements, I opted not to attend my graduation. I hated college - it was a waste of time that I had to pursue in order to get in to law school. I enjoyed my LS graduation immensely.</p>
<p>I am looking forward to my DD’s graduation from college.</p>
<p>S1 attended a large state u. He had absolutely no desire to attend the big grad. ceremony with the keynote speaker.
He preferred to attend his smaller departmental ceremony which was fine with us. They wore their caps/gowns. All graduating w/ honors were recognized. There was a couple of student speakers who did a great job and then a faculty member spoke (happened to be S1’s fav. prof).<br>
They were each called by name to walk across the stage and receive their “diploma” and shake hands with departmental faculty members and then all marched out.
It was great. We don’t regret skipping the giant ceremony at all.<br>
If your S is up for going to the Dept. ceremony, jump on it.</p>
<p>I didn’t go to my high school graduation ceremony and I don’t plan on going to my college graduation ceremony either. The only reason I went to my middle school graduation ceremony was because my parents forced me to.</p>
<p>Almostlaunched- last year my D decided to skip her highschool graduation I couldnt believe it and I was speechless her reasons were enough for her and seeing my disappointment (and that I was still speechless) she told me that those ceremonies were pointless, and the only thing important was that she finished her hs and that she was happy heading to college. We decided to celebrate at home no school marching, but a family dinner at a restaurant of her choice. She did wear the gown for some pictures and we had a good laugh about it.
(I learned the next day that a few other kids missed the ceremony as well
for different reasons than my daughters, but still, this made me feel better!)</p>
<p>Back in the dark ages like Thumper1, I missed my college graduation as well, same reason than Thumper1 (And no regrets yet) Maybe if your S doesnt feel like going to this ceremony, you can still celebrate with him. Finishing school is a great thing and a graduation ceremony is not a must for him to feel accomplished. You can celebrate when he finishes his lasts classes for good. Have a family reunion, or something that he will really appreciate. No need to create stress over this stress will be enough thinking about jobs, or what to do next.
Best of luck!</p>
<p>S went to a large state school and did not attend graduation ceremonies. He did attend a ceremony given by his department, though. Like others, I wonder if this is actually very common these days, especially for large schools?</p>
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<p>Is he worried that he will not pass some of those classes? If not, then I am not sure why he should feel wrong about attending graduation. Put the shoe on the other foot–should someone NOT be able to walk in graduation because the grades weren’t turned in by a certain date?</p>
<p>I think that it is pretty common for kids to go to the departmental or school ceremonies, and skip the huge university-wide ceremonies held in the gigantic football stadium, particularly since the names of undergraduates aren’t even called out. As a parent, I’m fine with that.</p>
<p>I didn’t go to mine, either. I didn’t feel it was necessary for my parents to fly 2000 miles to watch a sea of kids stand up for 30 seconds and then sit down.</p>
<p>I skipped my college graduation ceremony. I finished in the summer, and although I could have gone to either the May or December ceremony, in May, I didn’t feel like a graduate, and in December, it didn’t matter to me anymore. But like Joan52, law school graduation was different. It was very important to me, and I’m glad I was able to go and to celebrate with my family.</p>
<p>250K later, we are attending. Get the gown on, put on a smile and march.</p>
<p>My daughter and her fiancee have already told us they do not plan to walk at their graduation ceremony next May. It is a big State U - will be a huge number of people, and they have no desire to go. I was a little surprised at first, but don’t have strong enough feelings to make an issue of it. My son did not go to his.</p>
<p>Agree that if someone in the family does have strong feeling then it should at least be discussed.</p>
<p>No graduation, no present.</p>
<p>Seriously, it takes a village to put someone through college nowadays. It is not just for the graduate, it is also a way to acknowledge everyone (like parents) who have been there, to thank them for their support.</p>
<p>D1 is graduating this May. Her grandparents are coming, her uncles are flying in to attend the ceremony.</p>