<p>my son messed up first semster and the school told him his best bet was to withdrawl and start fresh spring 08 semester. he did that. spring semester he did ok.. just failed one class which brought his credits down to 9. when he applied for aid this year he was told he didn;t do well enough to get off probation(we were never told he was on probation) and he is getting no financial aid at all. we need to come up with all the cost. he has no credit history and my husband and i have really bad credit. there is no one else we can ask to cosign. i have tried at many places for loans and have hit a brick wall. he really wants to go back in the fall. is there any advice anyone can give us? thanks in advance for your help.</p>
<p>I would think that if he made significant enough mistakes in both spring and fall terms that finaid has ruled him ineligible (there ought to be something on their website about making X amount of academic progress at some minimum GPA) and if he was on probation (you may not have known, but he should have received some correspondence from the school) that perhaps his next term at that school is not a great investment for you? Why not have him move home, attend CC and prove himself over his freshman learning curve. </p>
<p>'If he can get good grades at the local CC he can show you, himself, and the original school that he is ready for college and he could transfer back in with finaid eligibility, too, so that you are not stuck with loans.</p>
<p>im not sure if he would dothe cc. but if he was willing to we still have no way to pay for it. my husband and i only make about $43,000.00 together and have 3 kids, so there is no way we can help him or even get a parent loan. im at my wits end!! no wonder why i have a headache!!!</p>
<p>Sounds like a year off to make money and then the local CC.</p>
<p>A CC should be fairly inexpensive, a few hundred to a few thousand for tuition and books for full time attendence. He can certainly earn that over the summer, or even work part time and attend part time.</p>
<p>If you are struggling yourselves, then perhaps it is your son's turn to struggle and fighting through that difficulty will make him stronger.</p>
<p>If he wants to go to school, if he is serious about wanting an education then why take loans he does not have to. Take a term at CC, live at home, earn money to pay his own tuition and books and gas, then transfer back to the original school with aid. Why should you or he have large loans to pay when he could qualify for financial aid with a little more effort. </p>
<p>Failing a class in college may be an indicator one is over-faced: taking calculus or physics or Ochem when not really prepared, but more likely it indicates spotty attendence and a less than full commitment to ones studies.</p>
<p>What I am saying may sound harsh, but I am going only on the couple of paragraphs you have posted and if I were in your position my kid would be coming home to take some self-responsibility and develop some maturity.</p>
<p>I do not think you need to be at your wits end, from what I have read, your son needs to have hit his bottom, realise he has to work for his marks and get his act together at home, EARNING the opportunity to go back to the school of his choice.</p>
<p>somemom.. you're not harsh at all.. i totaly agree with you. he needs to grow up!! he went away.. got a girlfriend and went nuts... he is now seeing what he did to himself. what he is upset about is we were never told that after he withdrew he would be on probation. he said if he new that he would have never taken that math course that he failed. he knew it was going to be tough.he would have taken other easy courses until he was off probation.
but that is something he has to deal with. i hope i can convince him to take some time off and go to a cc. but then again sometimes once you leave school it's very hard to get back in the swing to go. keep you fingers crossed for me!! and thanks for all your advice!!!</p>
<p>One variation--he could work full time and take one or two courses. I know that would be a lot, but if he could do it it might give him motivation/confidence for the full time route the following year.</p>
<p>I suspect that there should have been some indication when he logged into their admin system. Or he should have seen some email on it. The rules about probation, etc. are generally not too hard to find though you have to look for them.</p>
<p>He should have had an adviser that he could check with too. This is pretty unpleasant stuff but it happens to a lot of students and students and parents have to put together a plan to move forward.</p>
<p>A coworker has a spouse on the school board and is well-connected in town and hears about kids that go off to school and don't do well and then get read the riot act - fix your act at CC and then we'll talk about next year.</p>
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<blockquote> <p>spring semester he did ok.. just failed one class which brought his credits down to 9>></p> </blockquote>
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<p>Failing just one course would bring ones grade point average down quite a bit. I'm sure in the terms of your son's scholarship, there was a minimum grade point average he was required to maintain to keep his financial aid from the school (were scholarships included?).</p>
<p>Here is what I think I've read in your OP...your son attended (and presumably someone paid for) school for two semesters. He withdrew in the first semester because he wasn't doing well...and he got only 9 credits in the second semester because he failed one course.</p>
<p>I have to say...if it were my child, I would not be sending them back to the same school...and I certainly would NOT incur any debt to do so. I would ask the student to live at home and attend a community college for at least a year. As pointed out by others, your son could earn the tuition for this by working this summer, and by working during the school year. Once he's "proven himself" by getting better grades, he might have success transferring to a four year school where he might be eligible for financial aid again. </p>
<p>I hate to say it...but right now the school is looking at him as a poor investment.</p>
<p>You should also consider, finaid depts want to see sufficient progress, it is either a federal/state/school requirement, depending on the aid.</p>
<p>If he really really did not know he was at risk, then he ignored the notices and was in denial. One student i know dropped a class with which they were struggling and got a mid-term charge back for some aid that required a minimum number of units. That same kid was on probation that term or the next and had to go in to meetings to review a plan, etc., so your son may not have quite been aware of it, as a freshman, but I would bet money he was warned, he just did not think it would happen to him.</p>
<p>Do him a favor and make him "man up" and deal with the consequences of his actions. Thumper is right, some one (govt fin aid, school fin aid, you the parents) has paid for his two terms and he only has 9 units to show for it instead of 24-30 as he should have.</p>
<p>Encourage and support him in the quest for education by providing a free place to live as long as he is in school. He can prove to himself and to others that he really does have what it takes to go to college.</p>
<p>Be his enthusiastic cheerleader in helping him see how things can be done- he went away to school and he kinda got lost, you can give him the map, and you can "holler" from outside the forest, but he needs to find his own way out. And won't you all be proud of him when he gets to the other end of this journey!</p>
<p>Good Luck!</p>
<p>
[quote]
i hope i can convince him to take some time off and go to a cc.
[/quote]
You don't have to convince your son of anything. You have to tell him the truth: you do not have the money or the ability to send him back to college without financial aid. So without the aid package, he will not be able to return to college this fall. Simply tell him that he will have to make other plans, that you will support him (emotionally) in whatever he decides, but you cannot help him financially beyond the amount you had budgeted.</p>
<p>I am sorry, but this is his problem, not yours -- so he will have to find a solution. I think the best thing would be for him to get a job now to earn some money and return to school later -- but maybe he will come up with a different plan.</p>
<p>For what it's worth, I find it's easiest to reward my ADD 17y/o for doing the right thing and let consequences (Positive or negative) take care of themselves. </p>
<p>For instance, my son knows that if he doesn't do well his freshman year, he will lose his financial aid and won't be returning to the musical theatre program he worked so hard to get into. He will be able to move home. If he's enrolled "full time" with a "B" or 3.0 average, he won't have to pay rent or for food/laundry at home. He'd only have to work to pay the lost "good student discount" on the car insurance and his spending money. </p>
<p>If he doesn't keep up his grades, he'll have to pay rent - either to me or to some other landlord somewhere else. His schoolwork is his work and how he earns his keep. </p>
<p>He'll know I'm disappointed, but I won't be "angry" with him - who wants to live with, or do anything for, someone who's angry??? </p>
<p>He'll bear the consequences of his choices - for better or worse - and that's what young adulthood is all about, IMO. </p>
<p>So, FWIW I'd suggest figuring out what works for your family AND is possible for your son. Lay out HIS CHOICES and the consequences. Making the "good choice" of going to school and getting good grades has a natural consequence of re-earning his financial aid and putting him back where he wants to be. Making the "bad choice" of not taking CC seriously, etc. will result in more of the same. </p>
<p>It's so hard to know the best thing to do... listen to all the advice, then listen to your heart. You know your son best and want him to become a competent, capable man. :)</p>
<p>mareb66297,
I know it must be really hard to tell your son to go to community college.
At the same time, try to explain that he had wasted financial aid given to him. </p>
<p>I always say do your best that is all one can do. Whether or not he has done his best you still have to do your best. That would be to convince as others had said the options he has. I think getting a loan for him is not a good idea.</p>
<p>Hope you will be able to make some sense to your son.</p>
<p>This will be harsh......</p>
<p>Your son evidently received a generous financial aid package and screwed up. Now, instead of accepting responsibilty for his errs, he's claiming the university never let him know what was happening. How does one gain admission into a school, with financial help, and not understand there are certain ramifications? How many students have worked hard, maintained grades, and there wasn't enough financial aid to go around?</p>
<p>Do not go into debt, even if you could manage to find someone to cosign a loan. Given your son's track record, he could withdraw or fail additional classes. It's his turn to man up, either work and save to go back to school, or head to community college, earn the grades, and reapply for admission and financial aid. It's called growing up...we all must do it at some point.</p>
<p>I know that many of us complain about the admissions process and I tried to explain it to my wife this morning. Universities are potentially giving a person $200,000 and they want to know something about the student before handing it over. It's not unreasonable that they have requirements for the gold ring.</p>
<p>I'm a former professor whose older S flunked out of college.</p>
<p>Your S has demonstrated that he is not ready for college. The university did him a favor by allowing him to withdraw and then return to college. Flunking "only" one course spring semester indicates that your S doesn't have the skills and/or motivation now to be able to be successful at college.</p>
<p>If he's like my older S was or some of the many similar students whom I taught, it's likely that your S lacks the maturity now to be motivated and organized enough to show up to class, do the assignments on time, and seek help when he needs it.</p>
<p>I don't think that going to community college or having parents foot the bill for his previous college solves these problems. What does is when the student gains the maturity or motivation to go to college and succeed. </p>
<p>Some students who flunked out eventually will become motivated to return to college and do well. Some will realize that they love the social aspects of college, but the academic side of college doesn't interest them, and they'll find vocational paths that don't require college, but do allow them a comfortable lifestyle and fulfillment. Thus far, my S, 24, is still in the latter category.</p>
<p>He is living on his own and supporting himself because he also knew that H and my house rules are that adult offspring can remain at home only if: they are working full time and paying rent; or going to college full time. In either case, they need to follow the house rules including doing chores. Also, students who flunk out of college or have serious grade difficulties in college will not get any financial support from H and me until they demonstrate good grades for a full year.</p>
<p>We set that rule after older S flunked out. Younger S got horrible grades senior year in h.s., so H and I refused to pay for college until younger S got good grades in college for a full year. Younger S then took a gap year as an Americorps Volunteer, living at home (his choice) and paying rent while following our house rules.</p>
<p>Afterward, he took out loans and got merit aid (His Americorps experience helped with this) to go to an expensive private college of his choice. He worked part time in college, too. He had a solid B+ average his first year, so H and I will help pay for his college next year.</p>
<p>I have empathy for the pain and stress you are feeling, and I hope hearing about my experience helps you as you decide what to do with your S.</p>
<p>One last thing: Federal privacy laws prevent colleges from letting parents know about their kids' college performance and things like whether your kid is on academic probation. However, I am very sure that the college informed your S of those things. I say this as a former college prof and as a former scholarship student who was on academic probation my freshman year.</p>