<p>It was the opposite for me.</p>
<p>My parents knew nothing about the college process. I did everything on my own, form signing for SAT and SAT IIs, choosing schools, writing essays, filling out the app, to navigating through financial aid forms. In the end, I ended up teaching them about the process so that they will have a better understanding for when it is time for my sister to start applying.</p>
<p>While I would have liked to receive some pressure from my parents (I think I doubted myself too much, so I didn’t reach high enough), in the end, I think it worked out pretty well.</p>
<p>As a mom, I think you should just push him to be the best that he can be so that he won’t have any regrets.</p>
<p>Hi Hilldweller and moviepopcorn, Again, great advice. This is great advice regarding the HS coach, “the high school coach can be a terrific asset, but your son needs to keep him in the loop and often specifically ask him to call/advocate a college coach on your son’s behalf.” and yes, we plan to target one school for early admission and probably another for early decision2–then early actions too if possible. Then the regular admission list if needed. </p>
<p>“As a mom, I think you should just push him to be the best that he can be so that he won’t have any regrets.” Thanks for this affirmation. He came home yesterday after a meeting and did admit that it was good to be prepared and not go in cold. </p>
<p>I was similar to you moviepopcorn and do feel I could have been pushed a bit more at this age, but since that time I’ve pushed a lot and found ways to identify opportunities which has served me well. I wish you the best.</p>
<p>Hi ucbalumnus, Our family has a solid budget w/regard to college expenses and needs–we keep a long range view which means short term sacrifice, but that’s okay with us as long as we’re giving our children a good start, and staying realistic with regard to our income potential and expenses. Thanks for the affirmation for good financial planning.</p>
<p>Congratulations- you did a good job of parenting/raising your son to be independent. No matter how much you may want to helicopter it sounds like he won’t let you. There is nothing wrong with doing your own college search and sending him occasional (not frequent) email links. You may still be in the same household but emails let him digest the material when he wants to and privately- often easier than a face to face conversation where you can lose him before you make your point.</p>
<p>You can let him “drive” but that doesn’t mean people in the passenger seat don’t comment when the driver is going too fast or doesn’t see that car.</p>
<p>Let him know he is driving but do your own research and bring up any points that you think he needs to consider to make the best decision. And present it just like that. That it is his decision but based on your research, he should know xyz to add to his pool of info.</p>
<p>If I had asked my mother for help researching/finding/applying to colleges, she would’ve looked at me like I was crazy! (The exception was all things financial aid, since she knew a lot more about her own finances than I did.) I would never have dreamed of letting her see one of my applications, particularly not the essays or short answers, which I felt were quite personal. For what it’s worth, the outcomes of my application process were beyond anyone’s wildest dreams, including mine. I was very glad to have had the chance to do my own thing.</p>
<p>That being said, I know nothing about being recruited for college athletics!</p>
<p>I think that an average student that is interested in the college search process can probably do a fine job with minimal parental help, but I think a HS athlete really has a lot more on his plate if they intend to play in college. Hilldweller’s post #20 was spot on. I know a few students that played in College and none were looking at D-1 schools and they still had many more hoops to jump through then the average student.</p>
<p>Thanks so much kathiep.</p>