Son's Angst and School Choice

<p>One never knows who reads this stuff, so in "general," We moved from a very large city in the East to Southern CA last summer. My son's best friend had ridden the bus with him since kindergarten. Mildly put, he was not happy. We put him in a private high school and he has done, really, remarkably well. This new world for him is very different and even the schools people on the West coast look at are not what he knows.</p>

<p>That said, he is a National Merit Scholar, and just received a 34 composite on his ACT. At his former high school he was on Varsity Academic Leauge, Varsity LaCrosse and did missionary work at an Indian reservation in Montana since he was 12. As a Junior he is now finished with all AP math and Science courses, local junior colleges do not offer anything more advanced. He is engaged, personable, likable and well mannered.</p>

<p>I should add that during high school he saw me drop in a hotel lobby from a heart attack, helped get me to the bathroom when I had two hip replacements, understood the issues when I got layed off, and came to saw me at the "home" when it was the safest place for me to be.</p>

<p>My son's GPA is a 3.7. All of his friends tell him he is not getting in anywhere and his consular is not much help. As his dad, I don't accept that. I have personally talked to admissions at schools of the Stanford caliber and they encourage me to show him the schools. Is my son right to be defeated or am I right to fight for him? If Northern AZ is what he can really get into, then I want to make that "good" for him. If shooting for the stars is more appropriate then I really need encouragement. I really want him to get what he wants, which is Standford type...</p>

<p>If your son is interested in Stanford and other colleges that are difficult to get into, he should definitely try. Truthfully, it is somewhat random who gets in to these school with 6 or 7% admission rates, but your son appears to have very good credentials and plenty of interesting things to write his essays on. So shoot for the stars! I do think he needs to understand, though, that not getting into a Stanford-type school does not say much about him – it’s mostly the numbers.</p>

<p>I was just going to post the same comment burry just made - The high end schools are looking for more than a GPA and test scores, and your son has obviously had some very interesting and difficult life lessons. When my d was looking at schools, she shot high but also had backups. She is so fortunate to have been accepted at Cornell, which has been her dream school, but she was also accepted at other top schools in her major like Syracuse and VA Tech, where she also would have received a great education. ( For the record, D’s gpa is 3.75). Shoot high, you never know, but have a back up plan. Good luck!</p>

<p>Stanford is a long shot for anyone, but there are many good colleges that a student with your son’s grades and scores can get into. Check out this thread for some ideas as to what may be possible: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/869995-3-3-3-6-gpa-parents-thread.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/869995-3-3-3-6-gpa-parents-thread.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>The basic strategy recommended to all who come to this website is to help your son build a list of schools that represent a range. Safety, match and reach schools. Also he needs a “financial safety.” on his list, which might be 5 or 6 schools, not just 2.</p>

<p>Once he is happy with the safety schools on his list, then add some more schools that match his statistics and some that are reaches, too. Stanford is a reach for almost everyone but that’s okay, as long as he has others he’s ready to apply for that are “safety” and “match” schools. Note: See Mathmom’s post #4 above and link to that thread for many good choices that could be safety or matches.</p>

<p>His care for you and your situation would be good material for a personal essay, by the way – what it all meant to him as it happened; what it teaches him about his present and future values. Let him reflect on what it means to him, what it taught him. It’s important and shows good character in him.</p>

<p>Shoot for the stars! But, have a safety school too. Bottom line is that kids get turned down from ivies or near ivies because there are so many high achieving students. His Stats are good. Especially his ACT score. He’s a smart, good kid with a good heart too. Take him where he wants to go and visit any college. He is good enough! Make sure he has some schools that are not reach schools that he likes. Talk to him about how hard it is to get into these high level schools and he might not. However, he is “good enough”.</p>

<p>There’s no reason why your son can’t get into a very good college, even into Stanford, if he’s all that you say he is (though some more details would help about what schools he wants to get into). Harvard/Yale/Stanford are probably a reach for him at a 3.7 (more likely at a 3.8 or 3.9) but if he wants Stanford he should apply. If he gets strong grades senior year and can impress them with his extra curricular activities, he’s got a shot. </p>

<p>But he should also be looking at match schools. With his grades and background he could get into a top research university or a top 20-50 LAC if that interests him. He certainly will get in somewhere and somewhere good. He should be more focused on what kinds of schools offer him the environment he wants (does he want to be big city? Small town? east coast? west coast? in the middle? sports really big? no greek life? etc) and also the academic chances that he wants. If he wants to pursue a career in sciences he should look for schools that offer good research opportunities for undergrads, for example. </p>

<p>Basically, your son can get into a great university, but he needs to find one that fits him best (has he even been to visit Stanford? he may not like it as much when he’s there). He should apply to a range of schools, some that are reaches and some that match him well and some that are definite yes schools.</p>

<p>Never aim low. Even if EVERYONE tells you that it won’t happen, you don’t just look where someone thinks he’s likely to be admitted. No one can predict, with total certainty, that your son will not be desirable to one college or another. We just went through the process with our oldest child and it was an eye opener. A school that was thought of as a sure bet by her guidance counselor turned into a waitlist, and one that seemed like a reach became a possibility. You never can be sure what might catch the eye of admission committee personnel. Choose schools that interest your son and go explore them. In the end, make sure he has choices that fall into each of these categories… safeties, matches and reaches. Make sure every school on the list is a school that your son would be willing to attend if he is admitted. If financial aid is a major consideration, make sure you research the strength of each college’s typical financial aid offering. If you find schools that fit your son’s ideal, go for it and let the college decide if he’s right for them. Consider what learned people (guidance counselors, etc) have to say, but don’t ignore your own (or your son’s) desires.</p>

<p>By all means apply to three different kinds of schools:

  • reaches
  • matches, where his stats, etc., place him in the top 25-25% of applicants
  • safeties, where he would be a star student the school would be lucky to get</p>

<p>If you want to see how difficult it is to get into the Stanfords/Harvards/Princetons of the world look at the profile of those they reject: e.g., Brown said no to 3/4 of the valedictorians and 80% of those who got 800 on their verbal SATs; Princeton rejected
3/4s of applicants who scored 2300 or more on the SATs; 14% of Penn’s students are children of alums. It’s simply a long shot for just about ANYONE to get into Stanford, so find some other good schools, too. </p>

<p>In other words, the question isn’t “can I get into Stanford?” He might, he might not; the question “what schools shall I apply to, any of which I would be happy to attend, that includes reaches, matches and safeties?”</p>

<p>[Princeton</a> University | Admission Statistics](<a href=“http://www.princeton.edu/admission/applyingforadmission/admission_statistics/]Princeton”>http://www.princeton.edu/admission/applyingforadmission/admission_statistics/)</p>

<p>[Brown</a> Admission: Facts & Figures](<a href=“Undergraduate Admission | Brown University”>Undergraduate Admission | Brown University)</p>

<p>[Penn</a> Admissions: Incoming Class Profile](<a href=“http://www.admissions.upenn.edu/profile/]Penn”>http://www.admissions.upenn.edu/profile/)</p>

<p>P.S. We also added “financial safety schools” to our list; child applied to 8 schools; didnt get into the dream school, is happy to go to any one of the others, and recently found a favorite one that fits him quite well.</p>

<p>I’m a little confused, how did your son become a National Merit Scholar his junior of high school? That information is just coming out for Seniors.</p>

<p>Your son can take more advanced math classes not offered at local commun. colleges at the local CSU. You will need to find out what is needed from your son’s school-transcript, signatures from a gc to enroll him for these advanced classes over the summer and coming fall.</p>

<p>You all have been very kind and encouraging. Had we stayed East he would have looked at UVA (which he saw and loved), Colgate, Bates, Yale, etc. (In his opinion Harvard should be free as a national U and therefore won’t apply.) Whatever…! He wants to be an Econ major and work for the CATO or something. The best LA or B schools in the Midwest are Northwestern, UofChicago, Indiana and Illinois. That would have been easy to understand and go from there.</p>

<p>I tossed more information that usual out for everyone to understand that his GPA could be better, but there are reasons that were outside his control. I am very proud of him and we have always been very close. It’s my turn to give him what he needs.</p>

<p>My list, working with him, is Claremont McKenna, Santa Clara, Stanford, Reed, and then of course the UC schools… which I will not debate… he will not get into no matter what because he is not a minority and has his limbs. That is the reality and I am ****ed about it. A great kid can’t get in because it was hijacked by 4.3, 2200 accompished violinists. Sounds well rounded to me…</p>

<p>Any other ideas? Emory? Rice?</p>

<p>Claremont McKenna would be a good choice for him…is there a reason he’s not looking at some of the schools on his original list (Colgate, Bates, etc.). Does he need to stay on the west coast?</p>

<p>" then of course the UC schools… which I will not debate… he will not get into no matter what because he is not a minority and has his limbs. "</p>

<p>The UCs don’t use affirmative action, and many of the top UCs are predominantly Asian, which is not a group that gets tips due to affirmative action.</p>

<p>My son received a letter two weeks ago that he was national merit. You may be confused with confirmation of semi and finalist. They come out in the fall of senior year. Juniors that qualify for at least “semi” receive the letters at this time of year. If your student received an early letter they offered two letters to colleges of their choice to “file”.</p>

<p>I think those are good choices, all except for Reed. If he really wants to work at Cato and study economics, he’s not going to find a lot of friends at Reed College. Many of the colleges you listed have a liberal bent, but Reed is extremely so. </p>

<p>Is there any reason why he can’t apply to the East Coast schools he was interested in before? Has he said he doesn’t want to be so far from home? </p>

<p>Also, I disagree with you 100% about your statements on UCs, but you have clearly made up your mind on that score (more is the pity for your son). Just try to keep in mind that while I’m sure he’s a great kid, colleges aren’t going to give him points just for being a good person. For competitive schools he has to have the competitive stats.</p>

<p>Like pugmadkate - I’m confused. D just found out she was a NMS about 1 month ago as a senior.</p>

<p>Ok, you asked. The percentage of Asian students at UC schools far exceeds the population at large within the state of california. If minority representation was actually accurate it would be hispanics. Figuring out how to educate your kid as cheaply as possible on the state dime does nothing for them becoming a good citizen of the US.</p>

<p>Now back to what is important.</p>

<p>"

</p>

<p>Where did you get this idea? Racial preferences are against the law at California state schools. As to your comment about him having limbs…huh??? </p>

<p>Is your son’s GPA weighted or unweighted for his multiple AP classes? That could change his GPA greatly.</p>

<p>Your son will have automatic eligibility into the UC system. If cost is a consideration, the UCs are relatively affordable although fees are rising every year. And of course they will provide a top-notch education.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/admissions/undergrad_adm/paths_to_adm/freshman/scholarship_reqs.html[/url]”>http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/admissions/undergrad_adm/paths_to_adm/freshman/scholarship_reqs.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;