<p>More on behavior modification for young males:</p>
<p>Explain how huge it is to be trustworthy. The more you can trust them, the more liberty you can grant. </p>
<p>Don’t be stingy with big adventures. Do stuff with them. Rafting trip, city theater trip, cross country skiing, tickets to a sporting event – whatever you can manage. Eat macaroni all week to make these adventures possible. Make it clear that they get to go even if their grades are in the toilet. They are worthwhile men no matter what their grades are. They will test you to see if you mean this – don’t fail that test. If you respect them for who they are, then they are much more likely to respect your goals and values. </p>
<p>Make sure they know there are options. Tell them that you are open to them transferring high schools or home schooling or alternative schooling or private school – each one of these might have (huge) obstacles to overcome to make happen but let them know that they are NOT prisoners. If there are people or circumstances that they need to get away from, you are their ally – not their warden.</p>
<p>Fix today’s problems. College focus can wait a semester or two while you attend to this. Good luck.</p>