Sophomore year, only one friend.

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>My freshman year I lived on a quiet floor with a ton of people i didn't mesh with and stayed in my room a lot, and my roommate moved out after a few weeks. Naturally I didn't make any friends. I talked to people in classes all the time but nothing ever went anywhere.</p>

<p>Now it's two days into my sophomore year and I've already nearly had a mental breakdown just from loneliness. I can get really depressed when left alone, and need to socialize to feel satisfied with life. I dealt with this a lot freshman year and have been to multiple therapists which hasn't helped much. My roommates are always out of the room assisting with events so i can't hang out with them during the day. And everyone else around campus seems to already be in their own little groups. </p>

<p>I guess I just don't know how to make friends. I do fine once a conversation gets started but i have so many problems initiating. What do I do?</p>

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<p>Try your best to find someone as lonely as you and do your best to be their friend.</p>

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<p>I just got back earlier today to start my second year, and believe me, I know exactly what you’re feeling right now. I guess I can’t give the best advice in the world considering I’m in the same situation, but just put on a brave face and be strong.</p>

<p>So many people say things like “just join a club” and in all honesty that didn’t help me make any great friends but at least it’s a routine where you can get out of your room and take your mind of worrying. You can occupy yourself with other things like exercising, exploring on and off campus, or if you want, religious services. I spent a lot of time feeling pretty depressed freshman year and it really helped to go hiking on the trails near campus. See if you can find a hobby like that! Volunteering is another great thing where you don’t need to know anyone to join in. Maybe it won’t be as good as socializing with friends, but it’s a lot easier to enjoy your own company if you aren’t just sitting in your dorm room. </p>

<p>asianamericanson is right too. There are so so many lonely, sad people in college, but the problem is we spend too much time by ourselves hiding from people! And there are plenty of people pretending to have a good time who really aren’t. You are absolutely not alone in feeling the way you do. Just try your best to smile and be kind and friendly to everyone. You might not make any best friends, but just interacting positively is helpful! And you never know what’ll happen- you could meet someone great! </p>

<p>Hope you feel better, and feel free to pm me anytime.</p>

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<p>Not to repeat the cliche above – but – “join a club” :slight_smile: Or a couple of organizations that do stuff you like to do. Stuff like the school paper, any kind of intramural sports, quiz teams, musical group if you have any talent, environmental or outing groups, campus radio station, science fiction club, language tables for dinner, volunteer groups, etc. If you don’t have a job, that can be another way to meet people. And just give you something besides studying to fill the time. </p>

<p>Go to the Student Life (or equivalent) section of your college website and pick out a few things. Follow up to contact them and start going to meetings or events with them. The more people you expose yourself to, the better the chance you will click with a few of them. And a shared activity makes conversation easier if you aren’t great at small talk.</p>

<p>The key thing is to not stay in your room if there is no one there to talk to, play cards with, or hang out with. Get out on campus, there is lots of stuff going on if you seek it out.</p>

<p>If you still have trouble this year, think about changing your housing situation next year. Depending on your college, there might be special interest housing or co-operative houses – they tend to be pretty welcoming groups where it is easy to make friends.</p>