<p>So, I need to pick a room/ roommates for the next year in a week... and I don't really have anybody to live with.
Most people are well settled into their own groups by now, but since I didn't really find a group of friends last semester, and my current roommate (who is a good friend) is moving off campus which I don't want to do, what should I do? Opt for a single or go for a random roommate?
Also, is it really even possible to make friends if you didn't do so during orientation? I feel like I'm doomed to four really lonely years.</p>
<p>Tough situation. I’m sure you’re not alone in this. My daughter doesn’t feel like she made any really good friends during the first semester either. But! I think students who didn’t settle into a group right away will still make friends as time goes on. As for the rommate question…I don’t know… my daughter’s best friends either commute or have an apartment in an inconvenient location, so we’re not much help in solving your problem.</p>
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<p>Everyone’s experience is slightly different, but most of the people I know (including both of my children, who were college freshmen recently) spent most of their freshman spring and sophomore fall un-making the friends they made during orientation, and replacing them with people with whom they actually shared common interests and personal chemistry. Many people make the best friends of their lives in college, but in many cases those sets of friends haven’t even met yet in January of their freshman years.</p>
<p>I would recommend the random roommate over the single. My D ended up in the same situation last year. Her freshman roommate who she considered one of her friends opted for an alternative living space. I said no to the single. much to her dismay, so she was forced to have housing assign her a roommate. In line she stood next to a girl in the same situation so they agreed to room together - and she is a great roommate! D is more of an introvert and this girl has introduced her to lots of people - she’s having a much better year because of it. D was one who didn’t get the big group or connect during orientation either. Hang in there - there is no need to anticipate 4 lonely years - I know countless similar stories. Even extroverts can have a difficult transition the first year. The skills you will develop by getting out there, joining clubs, etc. etc. will help you throughout your life. Never give up.</p>
<p>My son didn’t have any close guy friends sophomore year, he had a roommate that he didn’t click with at all and had a new one he barely knew the following year. He was great, neat, polite and they started going to clubs on campus and found one they both liked.
His best friend came even later that year, you never know. </p>
<p>My daughter loved her orientation friends, still does, but some are thinning out, finding new friends. Sometimes students are so scared early freshman year, they cling to other students they really don’t have much in common with or even like a lot and later, they make deeper,more lasting friendships. College is a time to explore, you have a lot of time still to get to know many people.</p>
<p>I got a single my second year and would never want to go back to a double. Also made really good friends that year. If you’re the kind of person who can’t handle any solitude whatsoever get the random roommate, but if you appreciate downtime when you want it and the ability to have people over whenever you like, I think the single is better.</p>
<p>I’d go for a single in your shoes, but see if you can find a relatively social dorm.</p>
<p>My S is a freshman, and his roommate didn’t come back to school second semester, so he is alone in a double room now, and we would guess that will be the case for the entire semester, at least he hopes so. He’s said that he definitely wants a single next year. I’m OK with that, since he has made friends through a very time-consuming EC, so won’t be socially isolated. There was some real tension with the roommate at the end, and he wants to avoid a repeat.</p>
<p>Is the extra cost of a single a significant issue? If not, I would go for it. And if you feel socially isolated, find other ways to expand your social circle. Join some on-campus ECs, invite a classmate to lunch, etc.</p>
<p>My d was in a similar and fairly painful situation (triples in her dorm, which she likes, and she wound up feeling snubbed by both the freshman roommates) and she asked the RA’s if they could organize an event for dorm residents in search of roommates. Not sure if they did, but an RA made a very successful “matchmaking” suggestion to my D. They hit it off and found a third and it worked out so well they all stayed together for junior year.
D made a few friends her first year, but didn’t really find her tribe till later. Don’t be discouraged! but do try to do some outreach, even if that isn’t your style.</p>
<p>Ask around to your friends, acquaintances and RA for help.
Craigslist.
If you are brave, College Confidential will get you a roomie.
Be quick, you need to meet them and see if they are compatible with you.</p>
<p>Ask around - their are probably other people in the same boat. I had that experience back in the day when the person I planned to room with decided to move into her sorority house at the last minute. Everyone else was pretty much paired up. By spreading the word that I needed a roommate - I was introduced to a girl I had not met previously who was really nice and we were good roommates sophomore year.</p>
<p>Also - if your college does suites - sometimes there wil be a group of 5 who need a 6th person and so on. The bottom line is you have to be vocal - it’s like networking for a job - you have to let everyone know you are looking.</p>