Sorority Experience

<p>My daughter is a sophomore attending U of SC. Can people help me to understand the sorority system ? So far not a total fan. What is this point system to be able to attend sorority functions? She is in a sorority but we seem to be paying hefty fees for very little. We thought only 35% of students participated in Greek life but it seems a much higher percent. My daughter claims that you have to join a sorority to have a social life. True?</p>

<p>You absolutely do not have to be a sorority to have a social life, but a sorority does give you structured social life if you like that (having set activities/events/social group). So it is kind a personal thing. If your D’s whole social group is in her sorority then maybe it’s hard for her to see opportunities with other social groups.</p>

<p>The percent may seem higher than 35% because greeks are so well coordinated that they are involved in many of big campus events. D is not in sorority (other D is at another school but never heard of point system from her) but roommates are. One joined as freshman and has since dropped - getting over to houses for meals a pain and she felt she had plenty of friends and activities outside the sorority. Two others joined as sophomores and seem to be able to fit it in with other activities and school work just fine. D has never expressed in regret in passing sororities up except that she said it would be fun to go to some “dress up” formal events - doesn’t seem to be many of these outside of Greek life.</p>

<p>Can’t help you with point system.</p>

<p>If you’re in a sorority, then it is highly likely that a lot of your friends are also in sororities. That might be why your daughter says that. My guess is that most of her friends are in sororities. During freshman year, when girls rush, in the past, they haven’t had any time to do Welcome Week activities because they’ve been busy rushing. Thus, when everyone else makes friends with people who aren’t rushing, the girls who are rushing makes friends with other girls rushing. Once the semester starts, the girls in sororities get pretty busy with sorority stuff and if they don’t make an effort to do other clubs and activities, then it’s pretty easy to only remain friends with the sorority sisters.</p>

<p>Same thing happened for my friend who did Marching Band freshman year. Sophomore year, she quit and she had to find a completely new way of getting friends because her commitment to band was so intense during Welcome Week and all of first semester that she didn’t have time for any other avenues of making friends.</p>

<p>As it is, I’m not in a sorority and almost none of my friends are in sororities. I definitely have a social life at USC (when I’m there, I’m studying abroad this year).</p>

<p>And I really don’t understand the Greek system, but I think girls get points for attending certain functions and talks. I’ve gone to a couple of Christian talks with girls from my campus ministry, and I remember them saying that sorority girls could get points for attending.</p>

<p>I think the point system is used for different things in different houses. One of the reasons, I think, is so the girls don’t only participate in social functions. Sororities do a lot campus wide and if a good portion of the girls only want to do the social functions than it leaves a small group doing the philanthropy type events - just a thought. </p>

<p>I know my dd’s house also uses the point system to determine who gets to live in the house for the following year. I agree that it is all very expensive but it is a choice.</p>

<p>Thank you for the comments on sororities. I think my daughter will drop it although most of her friends are in a number of different sororities and it might mean she needs to find other friends. She never has enough points to attend the formal events which is one of the main social aspects. We’re paying for the sorority meal plan even though my daughter is a vegetarian and they only offer a real vegetarian option once or twice a week. We paid for her to go down to school early and train to interview girls for rush when school started (which she was told she was required to do including buying very specific designer clothing so everyone would look a like and passing a “dress check” before pledge week). After a week of attending all the training from 9-5 each day she was told that she wouldn’t be interviewing pledges and couldn’t talk to any of them during the process. What baloney! So far it seems the Greek system is a good way to carry the “mean girl” culture over from high school. I know there are positives but I’m seeing many negatives too.</p>

<p>That’s really disappointing to hear. I wouldn’t say that that’s a typical sorority experience and it might just come down to the individual girls in a certain chapter of a sorority.</p>

<p>That being said, if your daughter does decide to drop her sorority, then that does not mean an end to a social life. There are plenty of other avenues out there! Good luck to your daughter. :)</p>

<p>Herenow - hopefully she will not have to make all new friends. D2’s roommate who dropped her sorority did so mostly because it was not practical to get there for meals and she felt that the friends she has in sorority would remain friends even if she left. She has gotten more involved with other things as well. I do know that sororities vary in their culture - at older D1’s school there are some that are very into “high social standing” including a certain look, etc. Her’s is definitely not like that. Sorry that maybe this has not been the fit your D was hoping for, but her willingness to be involved will be highly valued in other organizations she joins.</p>

<p>Side note- someone needs to speak to house corporation for her sorority (not USC) about meals. My brother is actually a house cook for a sorority at a NC school and I guarantee that he provides meals for the veggies in the house every day.</p>