Sorority update (for momwithquestions and runnersmom)

Parents Forum
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<p>I made a new thread for this for anyone who might remember my daughter's story from last year (that was referenced in momwithquestions' thread) and might want an update. I won't re-hash it but suffice to say, she had a rough experience with rush last year - similar to your son's. Well, it's been exactly one year (to the day) since rush and I wanted to give you the story of what's happened to her since but needed to wait until tonight - which was bid night - yes, she did re-rush.</p>

<p>I will tell you that spring semester freshmen year was very hard for her. She had to watch every other girl on her floor experience the joys of being in a sorority (at a very Greek school). She even applied to transfer but realized that she loved her school and her problems/issues wouldn't go away by transferring.</p>

<p>What she realized this year as she experienced rush all over again, was that she was so afraid last year that with all her good friends joining a sorority it meant they were leaving her and wouldn't be her friend any more - that was her greatest fear. But that didn't happen at all. As the semester went on, she became even closer with some of the girls on her floor and by the end of spring semester she was very happy again. </p>

<p>She was nervous, however, when fall semester started and all her friends had moved into their houses and she moved into a single in a dorm. But her friends still stayed by her and they did stuff together. She got more involved on campus and made a close independent friend in her dorm as well as got to know lots of other people on campus from her various activities (yearbook, literary magazine, alumni group, community service). In other words, she matured and she knew it. She had her old friends (even though they were in sororities) and new friends. She loves her classes and settled down and settled in to campus life.</p>

<p>With that secure frame of mind, she went into rush relaxed. She re-rushed this past week, with a focus on a particular house where most of her close friends are. She rushed 5 houses, got cut by 3 after first round (but still had her top choice) and then got cut by her top choice after second round leaving just one sorority for preference round. While she was very disappointed to be cut from a house that had all her friends, she wasn't as upset as last year. She knows that her friends will stay her friends. She also had the maturity to know she should have an open mind about the one sorority she had left. So she went to their pref party and as I write, my daughter is out celebrating with her new pledge sisters of Delta Gamma!! </p>

<p>It was not easy one year ago and she struggled to get through it and, honestly, it took until probably April for her to be happy and comfortable again. But my daughter held her head up high and as proof of her character, retained and even deepened friendships she had worried about losing. She came back in the fall secure and eager to get involved. She also went into rush much more relaxed than last year knowing the worst that could happen. </p>

<p>Good luck with your sons - it may be rough for a while but it is one of those miserable experiences that can actually make someone stronger in the long run. I'm sorry they were hurt - I truly understand.</p>

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<p>Fredo...I am so glad you wrote this follow up story! I'm very happy for your daughter for two reasons....The first is that she learned how to cope with the initial disappointment and over time, came to see that her friends stayed her friends, even if she was not in their sorority, plus she made additional new friends and grew from this experience (though it is hard to see your kid go through a rough time.....they ultimately can come out better for it)....and Secondly, congrats on your D being selected to a sorority this year and I hope she is enjoying every minute of it. She survived the long wait and now her goal came true and even better yet, she learned that not ALL was riding on this.....so it was a win win situation. She overcame last year and now something real positive happened for her! YAY! I bet she'll have a great time. </p>

<p>Susan</p>

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<p>Fredo, congratulations to your daughter! It sounds like her "gap year" gave her more confidence and perspective.</p>

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<p>Fredo,</p>

<p>Congrats to your daughter. I am so glad that everything has worked out for her. happy happy</p>

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<p>I remember your story last year and am very happy with the outcome. I think that it has less to do with joining a sorority and more with finding herself. Good job!</p>

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<p>Fredo, I'm happy for your daughter. I know this must have been a difficult situation for both of you -- it's amazing how hard all these learning experiences are! I can imagine, though, that she will be very sensitive to other girls who have either chosen to remain independent or who were disappointed with Rush. So maybe someone else will benefit from her experience and understanding in the future.</p>

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<p>Congrats to your daughter, Fredo. Tell her "welcome to the sisterhood!"</p>

<p>SpringfieldMom (alumnus of the Beta Lambda chapter of Delta Gamma)</p>

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<p>Fredo, very happy that things have worked out, I remember how difficult it was for your D last year.</p>

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<p>Best wishes & congratulations to your daughter, Fredo.</p>

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<p>Good for your daughter, Fredo. Sounds like a tough situation to be in and she handled it well. </p>

<p>This is all so strange to me, knowing nothing about sororities. So houses just pick people to join, based on ???</p>

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<p>Ooohhhhh. I already have a headache. The short answer, mstee, is yes -- houses pick the people and, to a certain extent, people pick the houses that they want to pick them. It can be a very convoluted process, including initial rounds, some cuts, more rounds, some more cuts, etc. The "based on ???" question is one that I'm not touching with a ten foot pole -- another thread has been discussing this. <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=143982%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=143982&lt;/a> </p>

<p>Certain topics on this Forum cause the same arguments over and over. Pros and cons of Greek life is one of them.</p>

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<p>like EFC?????</p>

<p>Kat</p>

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<p>Other recurring cc "discussions":</p>

<p>-LAC vs. University</p>

<p>-Binge Drinking </p>

<p>-Intellectual Atmosphere schools
(sub category: PhD Production rates)</p>

<p>-Athletic Recruitment</p>

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<p>And drinking, and athletics and affirmative action and politics and . . . </p>

<p>It's why I stay out of the Cafe for the most part. I like being here for all of the mutual support, and certain topics always, always, always turn into street fights. :eek:</p>

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<p>I'm glad things worked out for her, Fredo! A hug for you, too, I know you are proud of how she has grown through this experience.</p>

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<p>I am so glad it has worked out well and hope her circle of friends remains not just unbroken but even bigger!</p>

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<p>Fredo,
Thank you for the follow up --- and congratulations to your daughter, both for her acceptance into a sorority and the wonderful maturity she's achieved this past year.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the update. I am happy it ended well. I hope the pledge process goes smoothly. Your daughter sounds like the type of gal lots of us would like our sons to meet someday.</p>

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<p>Has anyone read the book Pledged about Sorities and a bit about Frats</p>

<p>A reporter went "undercover" and did lots of interviews</p>

<p>It was a pretty amazing experience and a book that was fun to read, eye popping and showed a world i never knew much about</p>

<p>If you don't want to share, cool, but has your daughter figured out what happened with the house she really wanted with all her friends? </p>

<p>me, I would be wondering why they didn't pick such a special girl as your daughter, and not to be to focused or anything on it, just curious</p>

<p>In the book, the writer talks about how girls are chosen, and the process- in many cases girls weren't picked for some very superficial reasons</p>

<p>I am betting your D house will be a great fit, better than the other house because she presented her true self, and not what freshman pledges might do, present what they thought they should be</p>

<p>Congrats!!! And read the book, it made me feel like a hundred years old</p>

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<p>I picked up "Pledged" and leafed through it in a bookstore. My brief take on it was that while it was based somewhat on fact, someone REALLY wanted to sell books. It appeared sensationalized to me; the kind of book somebody knew would sell well to everyone out there who loves to hate the Greek system -- which is probably a larger population than the Greek system itself, come to think of it.</p>

<p>I was somewhat ambivalent about belonging to a sorority at the time. Fortunately, the myths perpetuated that sorority girls are virtual hostages of the organization are false. While my college roommate and a core group of friends were members of the group, my campus friendships, both male and female, were highly varied. </p>

<p>It wasn't until I found myself living thousands of miles from anyone or anything familiar that I came to appreciate my sorority membership. I joined an alumni group and became an advisor to the chapter on the campus near my home. It was not only an instant connection to a group of women in my new community, but also a way to feel useful to students who seemed to truly appreciate the help I was offering. It made my transition to a new life much more enjoyable, and I made many good friends from ages 18-80 as a result of the experience.</p>

<p>Fredo, I'm not a Delta Gamma, but I know it's a lovely group of women. I hope their anchor provides great fun and friendship for your daughter now and for decades to come.</p>