@Pizzagirl
As of said before, I understand the appeal of being a member. What I was talking about above is not getting why anybody would willingly debase themselves with the initiation process.
Sorry for the provocative headline but why would any parent pay for their kid to be in a fraternity?
Fascinating discussion.
I do agree with those who don’t see much difference between the exclusionary nature of athletic teams, orchestra, etc. and that of fraternities. They are all exclusionary on the basis of skills; skills that aren’t necessarily within your control to develop. Athletes are usually inherently athletic and also large for many sports. And even today, they are selective by gender. My son played his sports since the age of five, but isn’t big enough or talented enough to continue it in college. Orchestra/chorus/drama all require talent in the arts.
Fraternities are looking for well developed social skills - - and to some extent those can probably be developed more readily than the skills required for athletic teams or the arts, but it does come more easily to some. I think social skills can be considered as legitimate a special skill or natural born talent as any of the others.
In addition, at least for sports teams, there can be exclusion that goes beyond athletic talents . . .coaches look for “make up” of the kids as well. So a talented athlete, possibly more talented than others, may be excluded simply because the coach doesn’t like something about his or her attitude. It’s just as arbitrary.
Beats me why anyone would voluntarily choose organizations that hazed (as in made you eat disgusting things, drink to dangerous extremes, do embarrassing / humiliating things, etc), I didn’t go through any of that and I wouldn’t have put up with it.
Selective colleges and universities are, by their very nature, exclusionary as well. And those that use “holistic” criteria are even more so. Do we object to those? Some students will choose big state schools because they don’t want to go to college in that type of elite environment. For others, such a place holds enormous appeal.
While I’ve never been particularly drawn to Greek Life and understand the appeal of schools that don’t offer it in any way, shape, or form, it seems that going to a school that includes a vibrant fraternity and sorority life, with proper oversight and accountability, makes the most sense for the vast majority of students. For those who find Greek Life inherently divisive, there are some good options. But at some point, most of us have to deal with a real world that can be quite cruel. Life is filled with disappointments, and no school is perfect, but one would hope most students can find a school that offers more good than bad and where they can thrive.
I’m officially neutral on Greek Life. If my kid wanted to join one, I would consider helping to pay for it if it seemed like a good decision for him. But, then again, we’re happily footing the college bill anyway. We bought him a car, too, because he needed it for his co-op job. Lots of families would make their kids pay for it. And that’s fine. For us it has to do with behaving responsibly in all areas of life, and I’m not sure why Greek Life is any different in that regard.
Greek houses are just an extension of high school cliques, except now they are housed together and completely unsupervised.
Let’s be honest the main purpose of most Greek houses is to party. Not all frats/sororities are created equal either, each school has its own hierarchy. I can believe that a large number of campus rapes occur in the frats.
I think Greek houses are for people who are afraid to be alone, chalk it up to immaturity or insecurity(that’s why some function like centers for a$$holes in training), or party animals who don’t take academics too seriously, unless they are in an engineering frat/sorority…even eggheads need to feel belong, they’re people too.
I’ve heard stories about kids in frats who are drunk by 10am on game day, kids who had to drop out of pre-med or engineering because of all the partying. Any kid who’s serious about a medical/STEM career should definitely think twice about joining one. But for those who intend to go into finance or business, joining a fraternity/sorority could help advance your career down the road.
Read the book “Paying for the Party” by Elizabeth Armstrong about a group of sororities girls at Big State U (I read it’s supposed to be Indiana University - Bloomington). Quite interesting.
Those decisions are made by trained professionals. Not a bunch of kids deciding who’s “cool.”
^^^But they’re not just “kids.” They’re legal adults who have the right to vote and are old enough to fight our wars. At what age should they be trusted to make these types of decisions? And many of those “trained professional” admissions officers aren’t that removed from the college years themselves.
Because they want their kid to be academically and socially successful. They also want their kid to learn about philanthropy and volunteering. They want their kid to have a large network when looking for a job.
The parents don’t stereotype and generalize like people on this site.
Edit: And living in a fraternity is generally cheaper than dorms or apartments.
^^^Ironic to say the least since you’re “stereotyping and generalizing” about “people on this site” in your own comment.
I didn’t say ALL people on this site, I said people. People means more than one person. People on this site do stereotype fraternities. What I said is not ironic at all.