For freshman year, DS had unlimited use of our credit card. He was one of those kids whose arm you have to twist to get him to spend a nickel (“last year’s hockey stick is fine; I know I grew 3 inches since then, but I’ll just skate bent over.”). His younger sibling will require more careful monitoring.
For sophomore year, he had some money put aside from summer employment, enough for most discretionary expenditures. He might be running out, in which case we’ll replenish.
For junior year, he will have made even more during his summer internship than last summer, and the amount he doesn’t spend will accumulate in his account to give him a start on his post-college life. As a personal choice, we will continue to pay for tuition, R & B, books, medical, etc.
@scotlandcalling
When does it stop? After graduation, when they start working? Or do you just keep on allowing them access to your credit cards? Just curious how that would work.
I visit D2 on campus at Thanksgiving every year (we go on a long weekend vacation). I always take her to the grocery to pick up granola bars, dried fruit, shampoo, sanitary supplies, etc. All stuff she would really need to get herself under her “deal” with us to provide her own spending money, but I like to take her shopping. But she knows not to ask for junk food. And it is just once a year.
My D1 came out of college under this “earn your own spending money and books” with several thousand dollars in the bank, even though she covered her own expenses in DC one summer for an unpaid internship (also part of our deal that they have to cover their living expenses if they take a summer position where they can’t live at home, although I do give them some food money, as I would be paying the higher grocery bill if they had come home). She had worked for money for 3 summer living at home, and also during the school year, and was frugal in her spending.
D2 isn’t on track for quite as much in the bank, but she will have a few thousand dollars – enough for an apartment security deposit and then some.
My kids both had credit cards that I paid. They used them for books and the occasional medicine, laundry, or needs such as umbrellas :). They are both very frugal. They also got $85 a month for “fun”/clothes. I doubt they used it all, as they both went to pretty high-stress schools where studying was more of a deal than partying. The allowance ended at graduation for K1; it may end at the end of sophomore year for k2 given what it looks like he’ll be earning for his summer job
They get/got $$ (modest amounts) in easter and valentine’s day cards.
I never gave son an allowance, but he was listed on one of my credit cards. He is so frugal, if I didn’t buy him clothes, he wouldn’t. He got a job in the coffee shop first semester, then had summer internships. Looking back, I could have been more generous. My son says he didn’t need money, as he did online gambling, way back then.
It was kind of fun to see where he ate on weekends, as his meal,plan didn’t cover weekends.
We also pay the credit cards for our kids for anything they want that they think is " reasonable". They are very conservative with our money. My mother gifted them with a laundry service. Both say they would be doing their own laundry if she was not because they think it would be too expensive to ask us to pay on top of everything else. Our older daughter already told my mom she " definitely does not need service next year" because she’ll have a washer dryer right in her apartment and thus laundry won’t be the time suck it is now ( the reason my mom insists on them having a service ) and thus no reason for it.
My older daughter told me when she was abroad that the good nail polish she gets at home for 6 bucks a bottle was too expensive ( 25 bucks) overseas and so her nails looked awful all the time ( the cheap stuff they had chipped instantly) . I told her she could really go ahead and buy a bottle if she wanted. It’s " totally fine with me. Your choice" I said. And she responded "yeah and it’s my choice not be crazy so nope not buying it. "
I’m the one often urging the girls to spend more. They are often the ones who say " I don’t need it"
Not all kids who are allowed to spend pretty freely act like spoiled brats.
My parents didn’t put me in a budget in college either but I acted like my kids. I never expected my parents to support me once I Was out if school and had no issue budgeting when needed.
Sorority/Fraternity dues can vary widely. For one daughter who doesn’t live in the house, it’s about $400 per semester for dues, parlor fees, food at events, social activities, national dues. For the other who does live in the house, the dues, room and board are about $4200 per semester, less than just the R&B in the dorms. I think if she didn’t live in the house, just dues would be about $700/sem but there is a meal plan required for most; I think when she lived in the dorm and ate at the house it was $1500 which was again less than just a campus meal plan.
At some of the big southern schools, it can be $5-7k/sem because it include meals, many social activities, house maintenance.
We cover the CoA after financial aid as well as essential living expenses like clothing and cell phone plan. Anything else like movie or dinner with friends are my D’s responsibility. She worked over the summer and she do tutoring a couple hours a week. It is about time to learn money management.
We pay for Tuition, Room & Board, Books, travel to and from, and medical stuff. THey are on their own for anything else. What we did was turn over their childhood savings accounts (with baptism/birthday/etc money) and say that this is yours now…budget wisely and make sure to get a summer job to replenish. That is what my parents did and it gives you an incentive to work over the summer!
We would also give gift cards to local eateries as birthday/xmas gifts.
@scotlandcalling
When does it stop? After graduation, when they start working? Or do you just keep on allowing them access to your credit cards? Just curious how that would work."
It’ll stop when the parents decide. You know, there are plenty of Americans who would consider it “spoiled” and “entitled” for kids to expect their parents to pay for college at all. Everyone thinks their own bright line is the best.
When my S - a year out of school, living on his own, employed - gets back from his trip to FL with his girlfriend (that he paid for) - he’s going to spend a few days at home before driving back to his city. H said last night - we should take him to Sam’s Club and load him up with bulk groceries, etc. I agree. Is that “spoiling”?
My Ils are selling their home and have said - any furniture the kids want for their apartments, they can take what they like. Obviously that saves our kids money versus buying their own. Is that “spoiled”?
I think another reason there are so many answers (besides, the obvious of different family values, dynamics, economics etc.) is because “spending money” means different things to different people. To me, it means their “fun” money – things like going to the movies or out for pizza with friends. I probably would also make them pay for some “toy” or “gadget” we didn’t think was a necessity, but that hasn’t happened because they tend to be very frugal and don’t need or want much.
So, no, we don’t provide anything for their “spending money”. We do provide everything they need: tuition, room & board, books, insurance, car, gas, phone, clothing, even toiletries (they can raid our pantry whenever they need something), entertainment and travel when it’s with us-- basically everything else. They earn their spending money. But since so much of the entertainment on campus is free or very cheap, they actually spend very little. They probably spend more when they come home and go out with their high school friends than they do when they are on campus.
@scotlandcalling - Not the person you directed this to, but I do the same. Both of my college kids have a credit card attached to my account. They use the card for all expenses that I intend to pay – tuition, food, housing, gas, etc. It’s easier this way for us, I get the bill, review it and pay the bill from their college fund. When I’m no longer paying tuition or for their food or housing, they will no longer need the card.
Both kids also have their own credit cards (their own personal accounts/in their name) which they use for expenses that I don’t cover (concert tickets, dinners out with friends, clothes, etc). They also have their own debit cards. Both kids have had well paid internships (and savings from high school jobs) and I’ve continued giving them a monthly allowance (that they can use however they want) so they have sufficient money to cover their own personal expenses (that I’m not covering).
We paid for everything EXCEPT the spending money. All of our girls were expected to have summer job to earn enough cash to get them through the year. None of them ever asked us for any additional spending money.
@brantly Probably ends after a nice graduation gift, as they have sweet job waiting. The money they have earned/saved till now is for them to invest and use for their future after college. We see our kids through college.
But if they need help with a down payment on real estate, I can’t say we won’t jump back in again.
My kids have their own credit cards that they pay off every month, but they still have ours because in an emergency, I want them to have that access and we will settle up later.
And it is just once a year.