Stanford Essay

<p>So im not sure if this is the right Forum but, I was hoping someone could tell me if they think my essay for Stanford is good.</p>

<p>Prompt:
"Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate -- and us -- know you better. (250 word limit.)"</p>

<p>Essay:
Hey future roommate, it's Elijah possible the best roommate you could have.Within the first days you probably I am easy to cope with and have a lot of energy. Good thing is I love track and hitting the gym so you wont have to worry about my energy level to much.My first appearance and how I actually am will surprise you as do most of the people I meet. I will probably strike you as an athletic person who is an introvert. However this isn't the case. Granted my athletic appearance is important to me but I also love to draw, sing, game and Body Board. These are my major hobbies; when I do these I find myself to be in a happy state of mind most of the time.One thing you should know is that I am not to much of a morning person. My mom always did say I was a heavy sleeper too. I normally stay up doing homework, drawing, and other thing I enjoy doing.
Growing up I always played with Legos and was attracted to building things. I have never strayed away from this as I grew up, so once I reached high school I decided that I want to become an architecture.
I am looking forward to knowing what you want to major in and what else you like to do. I know this is going to be a first year to remember with you, so let make it the best</p>

<p>Best Roommate, Elijah Miller</p>

<p>There are some run on sentences and i diidn’t really learn anything new or interesting about you. I think you should focus on just one or 2 of your hobbies and expand on that.</p>

<p>Is English your first language? Your essay has many structural and grammatical errors. To be honest, I really couldn’t understand half of it.</p>

<p>Dont wanna be mean but… if you are intending to apply to stanford… youll need to work a lot on that essay. Get help from your teachers and others…</p>