If money isn’t a big concern, let your son choose. It’s his life. Visit both places and let him decide.
Stanford is Stanford, but Stamps is Stamps. The prestige of being a Stamps Scholar, the networking and mentoring and additional opportunities that Stamps provides… I would not turn that down for Stanford. Stanford has this “golden ticket” reputation that nothing but a windfall of happiness and opportunity awaits, but in real life I have known plenty of students who have felt stressed and lost in the crowd of super-ambitious super-achievers there. I wouldn’t turn down the Stamps experience at Wake for the undergrad experience at Stanford - they’ll not only pay his way but cultivate him in myriad ways, large and small, over the four years. Why pay six figures and compete with a concentrated pool of overachievers for a level of opportunity that’s being offered on a platter through Stamps? Stanford will be there for grad school.
IMHO I would choose Stanford in this situation only if the particular student wanted a very, very specific program or path there that WF couldn’t begin to approach. For example, if my kid wanted the Stanford engineering design program, and had been familiarizing himself with specific faculty and projects that he was dying to get involved with there… then yeah, maybe. Because Wake has nothing like that - they’ve only just started to offer engineering at all - and Stanford is the best-of-the-best in this realm. But if my child’s areas of interest were strong at WF and not one of the uber-preeminent undergrad programs at Stanford, then Stamps all the way.
OP has not really shared enough information about his son & his son’s interests to enable one to offer advice based on anything other than prestige versus money. But, a recipient of a Stamps Scholarship at a top 30 national university satisfies both the desire for prestige while making a very wise financial decision. Still, the ultimate decision is most likely to be Stanford University based on OP’s original post in this thread which views Stanford as offering unparalleled opportunities.
If you make & save enough money, then you have the right & luxury of deciding how to spend or invest it.
FWIW: My opinion would be to attend WFU on the Stamps Scholarship & enjoy the freedom of financial independence along with the freedom to attend graduate school without worrying about finances / COA.
An important factor should be to investigate opportunities for OP’s son at WFU as a Stamps Scholar in his planned career.
Just for fun, I wonder how OP would feel if the full pay option were Harvard or Princeton rather than Stanford.
A thread like this is inevitably going to be a study in confirmation bias. This is good news, in a way. It demonstrates that whatever you decide, a few years from now, you will in all probability be convinced that you made the right choice, and you will be well equipped to make the case as to why the next person should make the same decision.
People here who decided to turn down big scholarships and full-pay for T10 schools can tell you how irreplaceable their experiences have been, and how they would have tragically missed out on all that if they’d taken a full scholarship to a T30 school instead. People here who turned down full-pay at T10 schools to take prestigious, named scholarships can also tell you how irreplaceable their experiences have been, and how they would have tragically missed out on both those experiences, and a six-figure nest egg, if they’d gone the other way. And the hell of it is, none of them are wrong about having made the right choice for them, although they are likely wrong about how tragic the “road not taken” would have been.
I will note, though, that the more people have either paid or suffered for their choices, the more invested they feel in those choices having been right. That’s just science. It’s why hazing works, and why putting a high price tag on a name-brand product enhances its perceived desirability. That still doesn’t make those people wrong, but it’s a factor in why they’re so deeply convinced. As I said, the good news is that no matter what you decide, you will likely be glad you chose as you did. So filter all the advice through your particular priorities and your son’s, and just make the best call you can. Congrats on having such a tough but wonderful choice to make. 
Unless we have unlimited amount of money, we all have our own value on how we allocate our money. It is really a personal choice. I shared my family experience/value, and OP is going to have to make his own family choice.
@aquapt that’s a remarkably accurate post.
Just for purposes of determining where one falls in this OP. I have made neither choice.
@privatebanker Really nothing to agree or disagree with me on as I’m not saying OP’s son should do X or Y. Just pointing out there are advantages to Stanford in certain circumstances and that many grad school options for top kids will be covered (at least partially). I predicate everything on IF the cost is manageable to OP, THEN…If it’s not, then it’s really a non issue.
We don’t know all the financial details (spending habits, future plans, etc.) My first post on this thread was simply taking a deeper dive on the “we have it so we can spend it” theme. So regardless of what else OP can do with the $, maybe he wants to pay for Stanford. Maybe the difference in cost would ultimately float to his son in inheritance and he’d rather him use it now. Maybe maybe maybe… I guess my point is $ is a resource. If you already have the resource, nothing wrong with using it if you want to.
Either way, this kid will do great. Both are outstanding schools (full disclosure- I have a child at Wake)
On the other end of college, what if the offer was a low-paying job in San Francisco or a high paying job in North Carolina? It’s a no-brainer.
Stanford is a relatively large school. Half of the students are in the bottom half of the class. Good for them on the acceptance, but four years later being #600 in your class loses a little luster.
Money always matters. Imagine what the $200K in a 529 plan would do for your grandkids in a quarter century!
@rickle1 You are right. I meant to note another poster and made a mistake. I tried to fix later but it was too late. Lol.
This is a much easier decision than the other thread with UTD (with NMF full ride) vs Berkeley Regents in-state. Take the $300K any day.
Something that has not been mentioned in this thread is that, if I recall correctly, Stamps Scholars enjoy national get togethers & enjoy special counseling from both school & non-school related advisors.
@Hamurtle Wake Forest is ranked about 45th when you factor in all colleges. 28% acceptance rate and 28-32 ACT range. I would guess OPs son will be in the top 1% stats at WF. Will he be surrounded, pushed, and challenged by his academic peers?
Stanford acceptance rate is around 4% and 32-35 ACT and is ranked as a top 5 college in the world with some of the best majors and programs around. In addition the job opportunities, the location and weather make Stanford extremely attractive especially if this student wants to stay in CA.
OP’s family is in the top 3% of all wage earners, have saved 200k for this kid’s college and has another 4 years to save the balance or take out some loans.
I can’t think of a better way to spend my money than on an education to one to the best colleges in the world. Would I borrow 300k, no, but if my income was top 3% of income I would definitely borrow 100k to to make up the cost difference.
This kid is going to be fine no matter what college he chooses but why not give him the best education and 4 year college experience you can afford?
A similar situation a few years ago for Serene Singh, she chose to take the Boettcher scholarship (full ride designed to keep the top students in Colorado, similar to Stamps but not exclusive to one school). She was just announced as a Rhodes Scholar. Kids that get these type of scholarships and admittances are rarely held back by the institution they attend.
OP here. Thank everyone for the awesome discussion. @aquapt - that was an awesome post about confirmation of choice. My son is really torn, and these points are helping our discussions. Thanks again for the great points.
The best education and experience may very well be at WF. There are plenty of unhappy kids at Stanford, and no doubt some at WF too. Rankings do not nessarily correlate with either success or happiness, particularly when they are so close. WF is closer to number 25 in surveys I read, not 45.
We are sort of in a similar situation with twins getting into prestigious LACs with full pay and lower ranked LACs with serious merit. Granted they are not Stanford vs Stamps, We have let them make their own decisions. We gave them pros and cons of $$ saved vs prestige. I’ll be curious to see what OP’s son and my kids will decide.
Stanford, for sure if it is affordable. The opportunities are undefeatable. Yea. 300k is a lot of $$$, and although saving for grad is a smart option, 20 years from now, those 4 years @ Stanford will pay off big time.
There are variations of these threads every year, full pay at a Top school vs. full ride at a lower ranked school. It really boils down to, what his goals are, where he would be be comfortable and thrive. Stanford and WF are very different environments, and it comes down to fit. Do visit both and make a decision.
Disclosure: DS chose an Ivy full pay vs. Merit at Top20.
My disclosure, paying for DD to attend UChicago but my cost is only $135K vs a free ride at state flagship. Another thing though is like previous posters say DS will be just another student at Stanford. DD was an All American, 4.0 GPA 4.7 W, 10 APs, all 5’s blah, blah, blah. By her own words, she figures she is an average UChicago student.
Maybe, maybe not. In my close family there is one Stanford grad and one Wake grad. The Stanford grad has a masters in a STEM field and the Wake grad has a bachelors in a STEM field. Both graduated more than 20 years ago. Both are in the top 1% of income but the Wake grad earns more.
Both are excellent schools and a student like OP’s son can do well at either one.